House left in a state following occupation order

[Iristhebutterfly]

I have been granted an interim occupation order pending a further hearing. NMO and PSO were issued for a year ex parte. I have been away with the kids for the past week on the judge's instructions and she told him to be out of the house by 4pm today for me and the kids to return. He suggested staying in the garden office which to me is totally bizarre but the judge has agreed to short term but he isn't allowed in the main house other than to one toilet at the back. I returned home and the house has been left in the most awful state. He has taken all of the boxes and bags that were in the garden office for storage during the house renovation and just dumped them piled up around the house and left a lot of my things piled up in the garden. Workmen need access to most rooms for decorating/plastering/carpenter/plumber and window restoration so there isn't anywhere to put things that isn't obstructive. Not one single room is safe or useable with a 1yo and 3yo and I will have to take them elsewhere again for now. He has also left lots of rubbish and broken glass etc at the front of the property for me to sort. I have taken photos and made a video etc. Where do I stand legally with this? Can I email the court this as further evidence? Can I bill him for alternative accommodation and ask that he sorts it/puts it back in storage? And will this add weight to getting him fully excluded at the next hearing? The police want to speak to me soon about DA and I am hoping may arrest him and that that could get him off the premises. Should I tell the police about the boxes too or is it just a civil matter? Currently I don't feel safe knowing he is in the garden. Thanks.

Yes realistically I know that the house will have to be sold, I just want some stability for a year or two with having a 1yo and 3yo and only just having moved here in March. And to make it look a bit more presentable before going back on the market. There is a huge ERC of 5% on the mortgage currently so it wouldn't make sense to sell until that lowers a bit, and until court proceedings are sorted. It may become a criminal case too and I would want all of that out of the way before being able to focus on the house sale. It's a shame as if I was able to hold on to it for about 5y I could probably take over the mortgage myself at that point with my career progression and being able to take on a bit more work once kids start school. Not married fortunately so it should be a bit more straightforward than a divorce, and a Declaration of trust in place for the house ownership shares.

Given your updates even more appalled this set up has been approved.

On the house - do you want a clean slate or to try to hang on to it?
the repaying of stamp duty alone is going to make it quite painful.
Is there NO way a parent or other family member (aunt of uncle) who could help you bridge the gap in some way)

I have kids the same age and really feel for you.
My dh is pulling his weight and I struggle most days.

Im not trying to tell you what to do but think about what serves you here. You dont have money to spend £200 pm on storage locker.
Ignoring bulky items ( like his cot) my 1 yr olds possessions would fit in 3 big storage tubs at most - my oldests probably the same maybe 4?
And that stuff we use daily (clothes in current and next size up, toys)
If there's stuff you can let go off (ie 2 x giant boxes of books) it might

• give you space
• make your mind more at rest as you are looking at less of it
• mean less things to manage once life is finally "unpacked"

I only suggest this as if it can be boxed for months how much do you "need" it.
Also I decluttered end of my last mat leave and find the house MUCH easier now.

If you hate this suggestion - ignore it!

Separately it might be worth seeing if any family will let you use their garage and insisting he store his own stuff at next court hearing.

Oh definitely agree we have far too much stuff and should be able to get rid of a huge amount of it. It has been in storage 5m already as the renovations have taken longer than expected and there isn't that much that is missed. It's the contents of the previous house that had been lived in 10y and accumulated clutter, and I had meant to sort it before moving. But of course he wouldn't help with packing etc and said he needed to work and I could do it due to being on maternity leave! So I had to pack the house up and put most of it into storage while looking after a then 8mo and 2yo and couldn't do the sorting. And now also don't have the time with having the kids all day and needing to get back to work 3d a week which will end up being crazily long days, up by 530am to get them both to the nursery for 730, then I will have to do several hours of work in the evening after collecting them from nursery and putting them to bed.

If I could keep the house I would after putting so much effort into doing it up, but have to be realistic as it needs a huge amount more spending on it and is an old listed house so a money pit. No relatives have come forward to offer to bridge the gap and I really don't feel I can ask anyone for money. My parents are 2h away but haven't visited for 5 months, I usually have to go there/meet them at places which again is stressful by myself with 2 little ones, when there is so much I need to do at home.

Oh @Iristhebutterfly , I have no advice to give, I'm sorry, but I wish I could just scoop you up for a hug (and I'd hoof your ex in the nuts on the way past!). I'm a champion "sorter-outer" too, I love organising things.

Keep going pal. One day you'll look back and be absolutely amazed at what you achieved 🌺

Well if he’s not allowed in the house, he’s clearly broken that rule already!

is there any clause in the agreement to evict him if he breaks the terms?

I'm not sure what you mean sorry. He hasn't returned to the house since the time he was told he had to leave by.

I appreciate it's difficult with little ones, but could you do a very quick sort of boxes if most of it is stuff you don't need/ haven't used in ages, and get it collected. If you have boxes of books, etc, you could just donate as they are.
I have used an organisation called 'anglo doorstep collections'. They were really good and collect from most areas.
Maybe get a skip for the building rubbish outside.
Put his stuff outside. Get a few tarps from Amazon to cover it.
Hopefully you can be rid of him soon.

He was allowed in when OP had gone away for a bit.

What’s the update OP how are you doing?

Thanks so much for asking. Not many updates so far. I cleared a small area in the basement for the kids to play and sit and am trying to avoid paying for storage for now. He hasn't filed his return statement yet despite the 14 days being up yesterday so it is now late, and hasn't done the alcohol hair test either yet as far as I am aware despite there being a slot for it a week ago, so is delaying that too, I assume to make the last month look lower if he has managed to stop.

This morning I went downstairs to find workmen had let themselves into my house at 8am, left all the doors open (we live on a main road so totally unsafe for the kids and cat to do this at the front). And found them carrying through multiple sheets of insulation and building materials to the garden. They had a key as were meant to be finishing off the decorating, but it turns out he had contacted them separately, told them they could access the house on his behalf to get the materials through, and asked them to prioritise insulating the shed for him this week and stop the decorating for now. All without any prior discussion with me. The decorators have been in 2 months and not finished one single room for us to be able to unpack so incredibly slow, and have also removed the radiators to decorate, and it has been 6 degrees overnight so the kids rooms are freezing! So yet again he has prioritised his own needs over those of the children, and I am sure breached the order by telling others to let themselves in on his behalf. It's all part of his ongoing coercive controlling behaviour.

I just hope that at the next hearing the judge fully excludes him. I have started writing down my story and called it The Monster in the Garden as it seems so ridiculous, but true. I don't have a solicitor as it looks far too expensive so am going to try using a mckenzie friend and direct access barrister if it goes to a fact finding which I think is very likely.