Can Cafcass do this?

[penny755]

So I have a child from a previous marriage, younger child from second marriage.

Initial Cafcass report for younger child just done, and has made reference to previous Cafcass involvement and parts of the allegations made by my ex husband against me. They are MH related and were unproven at fact finding, he basically said I was unstable etc, GP said otherwise.

I am really annoyed that Cafcass have included this in their report for the current issues, it’s not relevant to my younger child especially given that it wasn’t proven at court? If I was proven I could understand but it wasn’t.

Is there anything I can do about this? My more recent ex is abusive and the thought of him having anything he can try and use “against” me is upsetting.

You said the court did not make a finding that your mental health affected your parenting in the court case over your first DC.

Do you have a copy of the judgment and , if not, can you get it from your solicitor who represented you in the earlier court proceedings?

With the judgment you can check whether what was said in the CAFCAS report ties in with the judgment or is out of line.

You need to speak to your solicitor for reassurance. They will know if they need to challenge the CAFCASS officer's approach - for example, by quoting the statistics of women who go to one abuser to the next so statistically it is not surprising that you have made allegations against two partners.

She is’ the cat’s mother” as my nan used to say, were you referring to me? If so i accept your apology.

you may be bruised and hurt about what you went through whatever that was.

i am not going to jump to conclusions about your own circumstances.

My beef here is that you could as a parent, as opposed to a male, empathise with what the OP is going through and maybe share what happened to you and your child as an aid to support.

I was qualified by the family Court as an expert witness, and i was a DV/SA practitioner advocate for nearly 25 years.

I have in that time come across i think five cases of a male being the most appropriate carer of a child.

I have no expertise on female to male abuse, all i can say on the matter is it is IMHE rare.

Oh and Thank you @Velmy i was that cross i did not respond.

Yea thank you, I do have it. And Cafcass have it too as it’s already mentioned in their report, it mentions the allegations about my MH and how no findings were made, it wasn’t proven. But notes recent ex is making similar accusations regarding my MH. And then goes on to note that I made similar accusations about my ex re DV. I just feel like it’s implying there is a pattern with me.

There is a pattern though and CAFCASS are, I think questioning what the children have been exposed to and your ability to protect them from this.

Cafcass need to be disbanded as far as I’m concerned. I have seen people reduced to shells of their former selves due to Cafcass .

I have not been in the sector for about ten years and there seems to be an awful amount of ground lost in regards to understanding DV re CAFCASS if i recall correctly they have accepted this and are reviewing training etc.

Having said that i have picked up a number of cases on a personal and private basis

In each case it required the commissioning of a barrister to set aside a CAFCASS report/ assessment.

There are two cases that stick in my mind.

One where the CAfCASS report relied on the statement of a perpetrator programme, that was to any lay person erroneous,

And the other where the CAFCASS author was so obviously swayed by the perpetrator, it was professionally embarrassing.

@penny755 maybe commission a barrister.

I can entirely understand how upsetting this is to you. You've had two awful experiences with abusive relationships (which is not uncommon - abusive men often target women who are recently out of abusive relationships), you've been validated by the court after the first one, and now it must feel as though Cafcass are questioning that.

You're right that they are highlighting it as a pattern and you're right that they may be concerned about it. My best guess is that their concern is that you are vulnerable to abusive relationships rather than being concerned that you are lying about them. Abusive men saying their ex is mad is pretty much standard for abusers and Cafcass do know that.

I think you will need to try to work with them if you possibly can to recognise patterns of abusive behaviour at the outset - e.g. love bombing - so that it doesn't happen a third time and be very clear that you want this pattern to change so that your children are not exposed to domestic abuse being perpetrated on you - even if they are not personally harmed, being in the same household can affect them.

Good luck.

Yes I agree there is a pattern, of me being in abusive relationships. What there isn’t is pattern of me being so mentally unstable that I can’t look after my children. I have anxiety and depression as do lots of people. I’ve always worked, my kids are great kids, they’re happy, never any concerns from anywhere.
I have not had any relationships since my youngest Dad and I don’t intend to. I did the freedom programme. I recognise now I’ve been twice burned and despite all the work I’ve done I don’t fully trust myself, or men. I don’t want to expose my children to anything like that again.
I am worried as while Cafcass has acknowledged no findings against me, dv proven but sexual assaults weren’t, the way they have worded it is like “penny had made similar allegations against her first husband, it is impossible to determine where the truth lies at the moment but the father strongly denies any allegations of domestic abuse”.
It makes me angry because my first husband admitted the dv as I think he had no choice, police took a weapon off him and removed him from our home. The sexual assaults he didn’t admit as he was interviewed by police but no further action due to lack of evidence. I do have text messages where he admitted it to me though and said sorry but of course he wouldn’t admit it in court knowing the police NFA it. It makes me upset as the lies of my first husband may now undermine my credibility in these proceedings, when I only want to protect my child.

Getting a barrister is a good idea, it’s just the costs at the moment, it’s all very difficult but anything to protect my child