My mother has been scammed ££££

[GreenFriedTomato]

My mother has been scammed out of a lot of money and it's overseas and complicated. I need help. Where can I post? .
The money board doesn't seem appropriate nor AIBU. Thanks

@Velmy thanks for your response.
To clarify yes she is a hoarder. She had social services involved but they discharged her after a year because she wouldn't engage further. She had been living with me because her house isn't safe but she has gone back there now. I'm in the process of trying to make it safer but it's a big job.
She's not Cypriot but she uses to live there. She has properties but has sold them and now stays in hotels several months of the year.
I don't have proof she gave them the money. Just proof that they took her to the bank 10 times to withdraw large amounts of cash, which they say she took back to England.
I did consider that she might have room it all back in a carrier bag but I have searched the house and not found anything.
There is no way I would get POA until she was seemed to not have capacity, and we're not there yet.
I'm at a crossroads really as they insist she didn't give them anything. Her word against theirs. I did fo mad initially saying why in earth did you go w them cash and not so a bank transfer. Apparently they said they wanted to avoid tax and she stupidly agreed. I guess she trusted them as she has known them for years and bought properties from them before.
I personally think they have groomed her and just been waiting until she was older to make their move.
All I think I can do is keep a close eye on things and just hope she doesn't lose any more money.
I will take legal advice and report dhem fo the authorities. Even though there is no proof they took the money, they may well have done this before and been reported so it needs documenting.

@BangersAndGnash there is no way she'll let me control her finances. She is rather stubborn and usually secretive. Often gets angry that I treat her like a child. I don't, but she's always doing silly things like posting her personal details online and engaging with obvious scammers. I just try and warn her about things to protect her.

You sound like a wonderful daughter and Human, OP

I hope it all works out .
Your DM is lucky to have You.

@GreenFriedTomato Maybe you could contact the British High Commission in Nicosia or the Cyprus High Commission in London on her behalf. Hopefully one or other of them will be able to advise.

No one can just decide to do that. If I'm reading correctly the Op's mum is still living and travelling independently and has no diagnosis. It would be financially abusive to do this without due process. Even power of attorney doesn't give you the power to do this until it is proven medically that someone no longer has capacity to manage their affairs. Sometimes people do stupid things and make bad decisions and don't act in theirs or their children's best interests, but as long as they have mental capacity their freedom cannot be restricted.

I would contact the British Embassy there and explain that you're very concerned that she's being groomed and even more money will go. She won't get back what she's already given them but you can protect the rest. And she needs much stricter supervision by the sound of it.

if they live in the uk and money has been brought back here go to the police in uk. they can investigate their finances and see if there is an extra 100k and where they got it from

I'd go and search her house for it. It is possible that she's hidden it inside her home. You can't point the finger just yet. I'd bring her home and get power of attorney for her. I'd sell her property and transfer her money over to your account.

If aur is now in uk would Age UK be able to advise? Is she under a gp here?

You can call her bank maybe and notify them that there's a suspected scam and that mum hasn't gone full faculties they may well at least put further controls on?

They are Cypriots and live in Cyprus.

It's a Cypriot bank and is empty now.

I will go and search the house again just in case I missed it. I think I would have found 100k in cash though.
There is absolutely no chance e of POA kr selling her property. She has capacity. And as for bringing her home no chance.
All I can do now is try and keep an eye on things and hope she doesn't end up completely broke.

Hi there, OP.

We'll move this over to Legal Matters for you now.

This is that horrible phase where capacity is declining, but that she's likely to have enough left that you cant stop her from making bad decisions. My parent lost about £75,000 and built up debts of more than £100,000 before they started to become a danger to themselves and SS intervened by sectioning them for assessment, as they too refused to engage. Their losses were all done 'legally' (unwise legal action which they had no chance of winning and everyone told them so, challenging bills that had to be paid and incurring fines and penalties). It was very frustrating.

While I have moments of absolute frustration, I've had to become much more ... aware of my limits. I might have missed this bit, but if she hasn't got a diagnosis, then she needs one. I would speak to her GP, say you know that they can't discuss her but there's some information that they need to be aware of and tell them everything. At that point with a diagnosis, the older adults mental health team might be able to help - I would build a good relationship with them because it sounds like you will need it going forward.

I’d tell her bank, social services and police.

@OneDayIWillExplode
Sorry to hear about your parents. You're absolutely spot on about her being in that in-between phase.
I did say earlier that she has input from social services for more than a year. She was also briefly allocated a community mental health nurse following a stay in hospital during which she said she was suicidal.
The main problem is that she's also an alcoholic. Not as bad as she used to be as her physical health stops her from drinking like she used to. But she still drinks huge amounts.

The SW managed to get her a place in a fantastic rehab community. The problem is she thought she was going there to address the hoarding and when she realized it was alcohol rehab, she demanded to leave the following day and went straight back home.
I honestly don't think there's anything I can do wrt GP or social services. She's had all the support before but always disengages eventually (and disappears abroad)

I also risk her completely falling out with me and then I wouldn't be able to help at all.

She contacted me to tell me she's just had a bad fall but won't go to hospital. She has no travel insurance. I've been trying to get her to arrange a funeral plan for years with no success. We've spoken about the fact she could die over there, and she wants her remains to be brought back to the UK if that happens. But she's made no provisions for that and I couldn't afford it.
I've also discovered she's met up with her alleged scammer this week and I just don't know what to think anymore.
In some ways, she's just so utterly selfish (always has been) and I wish I could just walk away, but I can't.

Apologies for rambling. It's been a rough few days.

@MoreChocPls SS discharged her ages ago and I highly doubt they'll get involved again after the last time.