Deceitful behaviour from school - don't know where to turn

[godofthunder24]

Hi,

My son's school denied him access for 3 days last year due to his mum having COVID. Following our own research we determined that it was unlawful for the school to deny access for this reason.

Once we presented the legal advice to the school they changed their advice and altered their criteria for allowing my son back into school. It seems very clear to me that they were concerned about the repercussions of unlawful actions and tried to misrepresent their original instructions.

I complained to the school and I've gone through the complaints process with the chair of governors, a complaints panel and the DfE.

The governors have consistently provided inaccurate information during the complaints process which I strongly believe is their attempt to cover up the schools original actions. The governors have access to all of the evidence which is in email form but they continue to misrepresent that evidence.

The DfE have confirmed that the decision to deny access was unlawful.

The Local Authority are not willing to do any other than ensure the school is adhering to the complaints process from now forwards.

I am literally sick to death of feeling wronged by the school and not having a channel that will listen to me and go through the evidence in sufficient detail.

I don't really want to go down the legal route myself but feel like I'm running out of options. Would be great to hear any advice from someone in the know or someone who has been through something similar.

Many thanks,
Ian.

This happened in July 2024

Everyone except you has forgotten about it OP.

Why does it matter that much to you?

Do you want your son to think that missing 3 days of 'cool activities' has messed up his life, or that it is mildly annoying but - in the end - no big deal?

If you want him to treat any minor set back as disabling, carry on.

On the other hand, if you want him to develop the resilience to deal with the normal minor disappointments that will inevitably happen - the job interview where he did well but someone else was better, the partner who splits up with them because it isn't working any more etc etc - then better to let it go.

Cool activities are fun. Not getting them on occasion isn't life threatening, even if it isn't fair.

There's a whole world of not fair that goes WAY beyond cool activities. Having enough to eat, being physically safe etc etc

Please take up a hobby and do not bother the school again.

Well you really don't know me.

Did your son blame his mother for missing the last three days of primary? Surely they are both over it by now?

Okay, so they got it wrong. It's not a legal matter though.

You need to let this go and I think you should reflect on what you’re modelling to your son. This has clearly absolutely preoccupied you but why? Sure it’s an annoying mistake and sure it was upsetting for him to miss some last days but you’re just displaying to him that rather than errors and annoyances being a normal part of life that we move on from, instead they’re something to obsess over. I doubt your son would’ve had any enduring upset at this issue past a few days had it not clearly been a topic chewed over endlessly within the family for nearly a year now! You really want your child to grow up to lose their inner peace for months on end to something so minor? What’s next - insomnia over parking ticket? Anxiety for months over a misunderstood work email? Kids watch for our reactions to events to know how they should react. You’ve taken what could’ve been a learning opportunity for resilience, clear communication, letting go, and focusing on the big picture in life and instead taught him that he should obsessive over and remain upset over something largely inconsequential that happened months ago.

Which law did they break that you quoted to them?

So your son wants you to take legal action against his old school?

So you told them “ to be responsible” and then got pissed off because they took precautions.

If you have D&V it’s 48 hours off school because it could be viral. If your kid has D&V because they’ve had hot sun, cold swim and tons of sugary ice cream you don’t say a word because next day they are well.

As I've said many times on here now, it's not the exclusion I'm so bothered about. It's more that the school, it's teachers, it's governors and anyone in public service signs up to a code of practice. If you have evidence that people are breaching that code don't you have some right to expose it?

So you wouldn't want to risk it being passed on at school then?

This is all very dramatic, it isn’t that much of a big deal. The school is run by humans, humans make errors. To me it sounds like it’s been blown so much out of proportion that they daren’t apologise because it will be accepting responsibility and you will go after them further.

I wonder how much time has been spent on this none issue that could have been spent enriching the lives of children. Please teach your child to be more resilient than you, their life will be much happier.

No he didn't blame his mum.

Your son was allowed back to school.
They dealt with your complaint

Why are you still going on about it. Its over.
Move on
Find something else to fill your time and mind.

You've got to start thinking on how this is affecting you, your son and your wife. Is it really worth holding onto this and rehashing it over and over, for what is likely a limited outcome? Your wife needs to move on from feeling responsible, and your son needs to move on from the disappointment. This could all have been a year in the past and a year more distant in your memories; instead it's right at the forefront, a shadow over everything.

But they have admitted they got it wrong. What more do you want? People to lose their jobs? The school to close? What is your end game here?

I sat in a meeting with the governors and literally said (the meeting was minuted) if someone can tell me now that they accept that they could have dealt with the situation better and admitted their original mistake then it would all be over.

It was disgusting of them to essentially exclude him for 3 days. Keep pursuing it.

Oh, do give over 😆

But you said they HAVE admitted they got it wrong, because they changed their policy.

Yes they are all lying bastards that ruined the best 3 days of Year 6. Who remembers year 6 ? Your son won’t care because he wasn’t there.

Hopefully he’s had a great Year 7. Focus on him.

A mistake isn’t a breach of a code of practice

My wife agreed to stay away from school even though the previous week the headteacher had said that staff needn't stay away unless they feel so unwell that they can't make it in.

Nope he's unaware of the whole process.