Deceitful behaviour from school - don't know where to turn

[godofthunder24]

Hi,

My son's school denied him access for 3 days last year due to his mum having COVID. Following our own research we determined that it was unlawful for the school to deny access for this reason.

Once we presented the legal advice to the school they changed their advice and altered their criteria for allowing my son back into school. It seems very clear to me that they were concerned about the repercussions of unlawful actions and tried to misrepresent their original instructions.

I complained to the school and I've gone through the complaints process with the chair of governors, a complaints panel and the DfE.

The governors have consistently provided inaccurate information during the complaints process which I strongly believe is their attempt to cover up the schools original actions. The governors have access to all of the evidence which is in email form but they continue to misrepresent that evidence.

The DfE have confirmed that the decision to deny access was unlawful.

The Local Authority are not willing to do any other than ensure the school is adhering to the complaints process from now forwards.

I am literally sick to death of feeling wronged by the school and not having a channel that will listen to me and go through the evidence in sufficient detail.

I don't really want to go down the legal route myself but feel like I'm running out of options. Would be great to hear any advice from someone in the know or someone who has been through something similar.

Many thanks,
Ian.

I think you might find this podcast episode helpful. I doubt you have any legal redress - as a pp pointed out, ‘excluded’ has a very specific meaning in education. Your son was not excluded.and he has now, quite literally, moved on. You need to do the same. Which is much easier said than done. As a ruminator myself, I have found the “let them” theory very helpful. You might too.

www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-70/

I think that most posters are more flabbergasted by your reaction than by anything that the school did. I'm sure that you see yourself as reasonable but honestly, the way that you've handled it is most unusual.

No she handed in her notice on the last week. The school tried to lay the blame on her for sharing her COVID status. She was just trying to be responsible and we had no idea the school would take action against our son. My wife was made to feel responsible for my son missing out and it really affected her.

That poor, poor school.

I feel sorry for your wife. Schools talk to each other, teachers know each other locally, so if she's looking for a job in the same area, this conflict will follow her around.

Not the only reason I feel sorry for her tbf

Missing out? It was three days of school, he hardly missed the trip of a lifetime or the like, you strange strange man

Get a grip mate.

Look, they changed their policy on this when you first brought it up. That should be enough for you now. The change has been made.

You haven’t ’run out of options’. You can opt to let this go.

I doubt that there is or was a conspiracy with schools, LEAs and governors. Someone at the school has misunderstood the guidelines at the time. I imagine that happened loads. I’m remembering that time the government reopened schools for two days…then closed them again. Madness.

I’m a teacher and I didn’t know if I was coming or going half the time. My class went on a socially distanced trip and then someone got covid two days later so the whole class had to stay at home but the head somehow thought I didn’t have to so I was still in school for a whole day and a half teaching my class online and then the head realised I shouldn’t be there so I had to,isolate first a day and a half longer than the children because I started my isolation later. I didn’t kick up a fuss though because we were all bumbling along with ever changing rules.

Please just let it go. It’s over with. You’re just causing stress to the people teaching your child. If you’re looking for money, that will impact the quality of education your child and other people’s children get. Let it go.

I don't think she would have persevered like i have but she remembers how she felt being blamed for our son missing out and she can see that the school haven't acted honestly. .

You may think that, until it happens to you and you are fighting for what you see as right, and meet brick walls..

Yes, Ian's case may not affect you, but knowing schools as I do, the coverups happen all the time. I worked in one for years and know how they work.

Couldn't stand it after a while, and so happily left.

Where does your unfortunate wife work now?

Isn't there anything else in your life you could occupy your time with more fruitfully? Like banging your head on the kitchen table?

I don't think she would have persevered like i have but she remembers how she felt being blamed for our son missing out and she can see that the school haven't acted honestly. .

Who was blaming her? You? Your son? The school doesn't care enough to be apportioning blame to people.

Has it not occurred to you that by making such a big deal about this and pursuing it endlessly, you must be fuelling your poor wife's guilt that your DS missed out? Your constant "fight for justice" means a situation that happened almost a year ago is still dominating your lives. She must be worn down by it. That's on you, not the school.

Who made her feel responsible? You, by the sound of things here.
The fact that she tested when virtually nobody does anymore, they probably thought she was feeling really poorly. So when they said not to bring your son in, they probably thought they were being helpful saying not to bring a child in to non-residential school days while she was feeling unwell.

You know they phrase 'no good dees goes unpunished'. I think that is what has happened here. They said oh don't bother bringing him in. You heard excluded. And escalated it instead of just saying never mind son, let's go do some fun stuff together once mum is feeling better.

You seem to care more about your pride than your own son, which is really sad.

The school explicitly emailed us to say that my wife sharing her COVID status caused the school to take action.

I hope your son doesn't know this is all still going on 10 months later. Please say he isn't aware!

Exactly.
None of you seem to have an ounce of resilience, op.
Grow a backbone (or better still grow up).

Mountain. Molehill.

Of course it is if you’ve forced it.

Well, it did . That’s allegedly why you told them??
That’s not remotely the same as apportioning blame.