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Original poster

Deceitful behaviour from school - don't know where to turn

512 replies

godofthunder24 · 13/05/2025 17:33

Hi,

My son's school denied him access for 3 days last year due to his mum having COVID. Following our own research we determined that it was unlawful for the school to deny access for this reason.

Once we presented the legal advice to the school they changed their advice and altered their criteria for allowing my son back into school. It seems very clear to me that they were concerned about the repercussions of unlawful actions and tried to misrepresent their original instructions.

I complained to the school and I've gone through the complaints process with the chair of governors, a complaints panel and the DfE.

The governors have consistently provided inaccurate information during the complaints process which I strongly believe is their attempt to cover up the schools original actions. The governors have access to all of the evidence which is in email form but they continue to misrepresent that evidence.

The DfE have confirmed that the decision to deny access was unlawful.

The Local Authority are not willing to do any other than ensure the school is adhering to the complaints process from now forwards.

I am literally sick to death of feeling wronged by the school and not having a channel that will listen to me and go through the evidence in sufficient detail.

I don't really want to go down the legal route myself but feel like I'm running out of options. Would be great to hear any advice from someone in the know or someone who has been through something similar.

Many thanks,
Ian.

OP posts:
peachesarenom · 13/05/2025 22:39

Tiswa · 13/05/2025 22:38

Covid a simple issue? That is part of the problem the guidance was changing all the time and I am sure at times no one really knew what the processes were if you got a positive test never mind if a family member got it.
Which is why the vast majority of us stopped testing because the impact of trying to figure out what to do with a positive test was just too much of a headache

Show quote history

I think apologising for a mistake made is a simple issue.

PyongyangKipperbang · 13/05/2025 22:41

The nastiness on here is breathtaking.

From the same women who are up in arms when their own child is the only one not invited to a party and are asking if they should make a fuss with the parents and teacher about it!

A 10 year old missing all the the big events of leavers week is a huge thing and yet so many are being vile and belittling.

Its embarrassing to be an MNer because of shit like this and I can see why there is such a bad name for MN against men when a man posts this and gets torn apart. If the OP had been a woman this would not have happened. And dont bullshit me and say it would because it really wouldnt have. Been here 20 years, this would NOT have been what was meted out to a woman.

You are disgraceful and shame the rest of us.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 13/05/2025 22:41

I would consider maybe talking to a local paper

Oh please do, Ian!
You know you're in the right!

PoopingAllTheWay · 13/05/2025 22:43

Do women enjoy being patronising to a man

If you think its a over reaction fine but the tone of these posts are madness!

Tiswa · 13/05/2025 22:44

@PyongyangKipperbang actuslly a woman did post something very similar recently - complaint to Governors/cant possibly let it go because I have been wronged.

and it went the same way

Bluevelvetsofa · 13/05/2025 22:46

There are hundreds and thousands of young people who missed out on end of school activities, in primary and secondary schools everywhere.

Mine missed out on Year 11 prom, a rite of passage that can’t be replicated. Missing the end of Year 6 is disappointing, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s a minor blip. I hope you don’t have the same attitude at your son’s current school OP. You’re going to have a miserable time if you persist in this vendetta towards a group of people you no longer have any contact with.

ChompandaGrazia · 13/05/2025 22:46

PoopingAllTheWay · 13/05/2025 22:43

Do women enjoy being patronising to a man

If you think its a over reaction fine but the tone of these posts are madness!

It’s got nothing to do with him being a man. The response would have been the same if this was a woman.

EilishMcCandlish · 13/05/2025 22:47

@PyongyangKipperbang my son did miss most of his leaver's programme under not dissimilar circumstances. I shrugged and moved on with my life. Making this amount of fuss for nearly a year benefits no one.

whynotthisname · 13/05/2025 22:47

Ian, I am sorry. But this is not the hill to die on.

All the very best.

PoopingAllTheWay · 13/05/2025 22:48

ChompandaGrazia · 13/05/2025 22:46

It’s got nothing to do with him being a man. The response would have been the same if this was a woman.

Show quote history

Man / Woman… The replies are disgustingly mocking and out of line

LegallyLoopy · 13/05/2025 22:48

Why is everyone calling the OP ‘ Ian’? Have I missed something?

Original poster
godofthunder24 · 13/05/2025 22:48

Thisismythrowawayname · 13/05/2025 22:38

This is how you get made a vexatious complainant. I've dealt with a man like this at a school where I was Chair of Governors briefly. He was furious that his son had lost his jumper which had no name on it. Which his class teacher had suggested he might not need to bring in the morning when he turned up wearing it and it was past 30c. Parent said no he needed his jumper because the weather might change. It was July 2022 and was a little bit hot if you recall. Kid took jumper off at some point and put it somewhere. We showed dad the lost property. He insisted none of the other dozen or so identical jumpers were his son's and complained and got others to complain on his behalf as we had made his son worry in case it got cold. It continued for about 5 months and we had to bring in the LA as the dad absolutely wouldn't listen to any response from the school. If it had been double that time I think we would have all resigned as he was a complete pain. His emails were barely read other than to see what human rights law we had broken. He seemed to think there was a black market for a shabby school jumper that a 9 year old had lost

Did you lie to the parent at any stage? Did you misrepresent the facts?
Did you try to cover up others mistakes?

I hope not or else you will have broken your code of conduct. I'm sure you value the code of conduct being adhered to. If not then why does it get signed at all?

OP posts:
cocoromo · 13/05/2025 22:48

godofthunder24 · 13/05/2025 22:21

As I've said many times on here now, it's not the exclusion I'm so bothered about. It's more that the school, it's teachers, it's governors and anyone in public service signs up to a code of practice. If you have evidence that people are breaching that code don't you have some right to expose it?

Show quote history

You are actually sounding a little unhinged. Please take the advice offered by almost everyone on here and drop this ridiculous witch hunt. It’s over.

Todayisaday · 13/05/2025 22:48

godofthunder24 · 13/05/2025 17:33

Hi,

My son's school denied him access for 3 days last year due to his mum having COVID. Following our own research we determined that it was unlawful for the school to deny access for this reason.

Once we presented the legal advice to the school they changed their advice and altered their criteria for allowing my son back into school. It seems very clear to me that they were concerned about the repercussions of unlawful actions and tried to misrepresent their original instructions.

I complained to the school and I've gone through the complaints process with the chair of governors, a complaints panel and the DfE.

The governors have consistently provided inaccurate information during the complaints process which I strongly believe is their attempt to cover up the schools original actions. The governors have access to all of the evidence which is in email form but they continue to misrepresent that evidence.

The DfE have confirmed that the decision to deny access was unlawful.

The Local Authority are not willing to do any other than ensure the school is adhering to the complaints process from now forwards.

I am literally sick to death of feeling wronged by the school and not having a channel that will listen to me and go through the evidence in sufficient detail.

I don't really want to go down the legal route myself but feel like I'm running out of options. Would be great to hear any advice from someone in the know or someone who has been through something similar.

Many thanks,
Ian.

I think it's time to let this one go.
You are making it a much bigger thing than it really is.
Your wife had covid, whoever told him he couldnt come in made a mistake, he was a bit upset, it wont ruin his life, he probably would never have thought twice about it once summer had started and he moved up to secondary. But you have dragged this on for nearly a year making a huge event, like he was wrongfully imprisoned for 30 years and you are campaigning for justice.
Someone made a mistake, your son was at home with you for three days and missed out on a water fight on the field and t shirt painting or whatever the activity is.
He didnt miss his sats or learning. He just got to stay home.
Thats it.
If they havent apologised by now then just draw a line under it.

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 13/05/2025 22:50

godofthunder24 · 13/05/2025 21:26

To a 10 year old it means alot. I had him at home 3 days really upset.

Show quote history

I’m sure your overreaction caused much of the escalated distress.

Hollietree · 13/05/2025 22:50

Thisismythrowawayname · 13/05/2025 22:38

This is how you get made a vexatious complainant. I've dealt with a man like this at a school where I was Chair of Governors briefly. He was furious that his son had lost his jumper which had no name on it. Which his class teacher had suggested he might not need to bring in the morning when he turned up wearing it and it was past 30c. Parent said no he needed his jumper because the weather might change. It was July 2022 and was a little bit hot if you recall. Kid took jumper off at some point and put it somewhere. We showed dad the lost property. He insisted none of the other dozen or so identical jumpers were his son's and complained and got others to complain on his behalf as we had made his son worry in case it got cold. It continued for about 5 months and we had to bring in the LA as the dad absolutely wouldn't listen to any response from the school. If it had been double that time I think we would have all resigned as he was a complete pain. His emails were barely read other than to see what human rights law we had broken. He seemed to think there was a black market for a shabby school jumper that a 9 year old had lost

He wasn’t called Ian was he?

ChompandaGrazia · 13/05/2025 22:51

LegallyLoopy · 13/05/2025 22:48

Why is everyone calling the OP ‘ Ian’? Have I missed something?

Yes. He signed off the original post as Ian.

scotstars · 13/05/2025 22:51

Kindly you need to draw a line under it and move on..what are you are hoping for by "proving' they were wrong? At most you will get an apology it's not going to change anything please find a new cause or hobby rather than persisting in a pointless argument

Original poster
godofthunder24 · 13/05/2025 22:51

Bluevelvetsofa · 13/05/2025 22:46

There are hundreds and thousands of young people who missed out on end of school activities, in primary and secondary schools everywhere.

Mine missed out on Year 11 prom, a rite of passage that can’t be replicated. Missing the end of Year 6 is disappointing, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s a minor blip. I hope you don’t have the same attitude at your son’s current school OP. You’re going to have a miserable time if you persist in this vendetta towards a group of people you no longer have any contact with.

As I've said many times now it's more about people in public positions breaking their code of conduct and myself being lied to. If the teachers and governors think it's OK to lie to get themselves out of a sticky situation then how is that acceptable?

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 13/05/2025 22:52

Let's face it, OP has to let it go because there is nothing else he can do. There is no 'legal route' as he has no claim. There are no damages because there has been no loss.

It's over OP

LegallyLoopy · 13/05/2025 22:52

ChompandaGrazia · 13/05/2025 22:51

Yes. He signed off the original post as Ian.

Show quote history

I completely missed that 🤦🏻‍♀️. Thanks

Motherofacertainage · 13/05/2025 22:53

This sounds like it's entirely about your ego and your need for an apology rather than your son's feelings. Even if he was upset at the time, it's nearly a year on and he has moved up to secondary school. You're flogging a dead horse. The school messed up, not maliciously but out of human error. It's unfortunate but shit happens. Kindly, you're wasting everyone's time now especially your own and I can't imagine that even a grovelling apology now would entirely solve it. Think of your son and move on. Give your attention to him here and now rather than dwelling on this. It's done.

Baital · 13/05/2025 22:54

I don't think anyone has 'belittled' the disappointment of missing out on 'leavers week'.

It's a disappointment of course. But not devastating. Many, many children manage without a leaver's week, others have schools with a leaver's week but can't take part for various reasons.

In the grand scheme of things a leaver's week is a luxury. Missing it will not blight their life. Even if they missed it because the school messed up.

LittleMonks11 · 13/05/2025 22:54

What’s really going on here? Is there someone at the school or on the board of governors who you believe has done you/your wife or your son wrong in another way?

FiveShelties · 13/05/2025 22:58

Wow, what lengths would you go to if it was something important.

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