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Original poster

Possible prison sentence - what happens to my children?

129 replies

Lonerangerr · 27/02/2025 21:00

I know what I did was wrong and I know that people will not like what I done but I accept what I’ve done and wish I could turn back time.

a few years ago, I suffered a horrendous break up which dug up decades of trauma and resulted in me attempting to take my life. Following this, I was self sabotaging in any way possible and feeling unworthy. During this time, I was struggling with money. Not stable enough mentally to go to work whilst also trying to care for 2 children. During this time a friend reached out to me and offered me some money in exchange for doing something for him.

He set me up with someone who made fake car finance applications and set me up with a fake ID to complete these applications and collect the cars. The payment for this was so small so I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t even rationalise that this was illegal. He told me that the identities were fake and not linked to real people. I completed one and collected the car for him early in the year.

a couple of months after, I finally got a job, was having therapy and bettering my life. Until this guy reached out again asking me to collect another car. I was reluctant and tried to ignore him but he was persistent. He messaged and called me non stop. He knew where I lived and where I worked and in the end I felt scared that he would come for me so I went to get the car.

not long after, I was arrested for fraud. The investigation has been going on for 18 months and they have finally charged me. I’m due in court soon and honestly feel like life is over for me. The amount of fraud totals to around £60,000 and everything online points to a custodial sentence.

I have never committed a crime in my life apart from this. I know I was in a bad state of mind but really I should’ve still known right from wrong. On top of this, my daughter has accused her dad of SA and there is currently and investigation going on meaning I’m her sole carer.

I’m scared and hate myself for what I have done. I don’t recognise the girl I was back then. I’m a devote Christian now, working hard on myself, dealt with my life of trauma through multiple types of therapy, I have recovered from the darkest period of my life. I need to be here for my daughter now but I know the reality is that I’ll be behind bars and I won’t be able to keep her safe.

I don’t know what to do and have found myself slipping back into depression with bad thoughts since receiving the papers.

what is going to happen to my girls? I don’t want them to be in care, my mistake shouldn’t have to impact them and I feel like the worst mother ever for letting them down. I hate myself for all of this

OP posts:
yellowflies · 27/02/2025 21:02

This is the English justice system, you'll get a suspended sentence at most.

Lamelie · 27/02/2025 21:05

I don’t think you’ll get a custodial sentence Flowers
Forgive yourself. What does your solicitor advise? Do you have a church? Can you talk to anyone there?

yellowflies · 27/02/2025 21:08

Also I would speak to your solicitor about coercion being a mitigating factor.

Original poster
Lonerangerr · 27/02/2025 21:14

Lamelie · 27/02/2025 21:05

I don’t think you’ll get a custodial sentence Flowers
Forgive yourself. What does your solicitor advise? Do you have a church? Can you talk to anyone there?

My solicitor isn’t the best, we still haven’t spoke properly about it all but he just warned me that there is a possibility of a custodial sentence. I have an amazing church, I feel ashamed to admit my wrongs to them but think I will be speaking up on Sunday so they can also support my girls. God has been the best guidance on this journey so I know I should put my trust in those at the church too

thank you❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonerangerr · 27/02/2025 21:15

yellowflies · 27/02/2025 21:08

Also I would speak to your solicitor about coercion being a mitigating factor.

Thank you, the guy has been messaging me since I was arrested too. Harassing me with messages that I’ve ignored so I think I shall bring that up to my solicitor

OP posts:
Ukholidaysaregreat · 27/02/2025 21:17

OP you are doing so well to bring up your children and improve your own situation. Work with your legal advisor, tell them to situation and that you felt pressured into doing it. I really hope you don't get a custodial sentence.

SophieFichini · 27/02/2025 21:24

Keep strong OP, you will get through this. Ask for help, anything and anyone that can help put your case across better. All the best.

Anewdawnanewname · 27/02/2025 21:28

I doubt you’d go to prison due to your issues at the time and the low amount. I know of someone who defrauded a school for hundreds of thousands and because it was spent on gambling, they weren’t jailed. They took into account their mental health at the time.

Doingmybestbut · 27/02/2025 21:33

For a first offence you might be lucky.

Bakewelltart1 · 27/02/2025 21:34

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

For you O.P
I’ll be praying for you. Keep strong, you can do this 💐

HowDoYouSolveAProblemLikeMyRear · 27/02/2025 21:43

Fast and pray and read your Bible. God is sovereign and he's more than capable of looking after your children, even if you can't for a while. Memorize scripture to tell yourself in your hardest moments.

Speak to the elders at your church, and be open with your church. Who knows, perhaps there's even someone who could be on standby to look after your children if it came to it. Let your church know you and love you and pray for you and practically support you.

Zebedee999 · 27/02/2025 21:46

Lonerangerr · 27/02/2025 21:00

I know what I did was wrong and I know that people will not like what I done but I accept what I’ve done and wish I could turn back time.

a few years ago, I suffered a horrendous break up which dug up decades of trauma and resulted in me attempting to take my life. Following this, I was self sabotaging in any way possible and feeling unworthy. During this time, I was struggling with money. Not stable enough mentally to go to work whilst also trying to care for 2 children. During this time a friend reached out to me and offered me some money in exchange for doing something for him.

He set me up with someone who made fake car finance applications and set me up with a fake ID to complete these applications and collect the cars. The payment for this was so small so I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t even rationalise that this was illegal. He told me that the identities were fake and not linked to real people. I completed one and collected the car for him early in the year.

a couple of months after, I finally got a job, was having therapy and bettering my life. Until this guy reached out again asking me to collect another car. I was reluctant and tried to ignore him but he was persistent. He messaged and called me non stop. He knew where I lived and where I worked and in the end I felt scared that he would come for me so I went to get the car.

not long after, I was arrested for fraud. The investigation has been going on for 18 months and they have finally charged me. I’m due in court soon and honestly feel like life is over for me. The amount of fraud totals to around £60,000 and everything online points to a custodial sentence.

I have never committed a crime in my life apart from this. I know I was in a bad state of mind but really I should’ve still known right from wrong. On top of this, my daughter has accused her dad of SA and there is currently and investigation going on meaning I’m her sole carer.

I’m scared and hate myself for what I have done. I don’t recognise the girl I was back then. I’m a devote Christian now, working hard on myself, dealt with my life of trauma through multiple types of therapy, I have recovered from the darkest period of my life. I need to be here for my daughter now but I know the reality is that I’ll be behind bars and I won’t be able to keep her safe.

I don’t know what to do and have found myself slipping back into depression with bad thoughts since receiving the papers.

what is going to happen to my girls? I don’t want them to be in care, my mistake shouldn’t have to impact them and I feel like the worst mother ever for letting them down. I hate myself for all of this

I hope (if you really are in the straight and narrow) that you get a suspended sentence and are then able to contribute to society in a positive way. Good luck.

Notthisagainyouidiot · 27/02/2025 21:47

Hope for the best: plan for the worst.
With your circumstances I would think you would not get a custodial sentence but your solicitor has to warn you that this is within the sentencing guidelines.
But if it came to that who would you want to look after your DC? Have you family or friends that could do it?

Ladamesansmerci · 27/02/2025 21:50

I don't have any advice, OP, but I'll keep you in my thoughts. I'm not religious, but I'll pray for you anyway.

Try and forgive yourself. You've made mistakes and deserve a second chance.

Honestly I don't think you'll be sentenced. What would it achieve anyway? You're already sorry and trying to rebuild your life. I think they'll take into account your past and current circumstances.

bakedFishandChips · 27/02/2025 21:53

The fact you found God in the midst of all this, brings some light. Keep asking the church people to be allowed to see your girls or send gifts. I hope you get visits if you get to prison and that once you leave from there, God will arrange amazing lovely new life for you. At least pure, safe, humble life for starters will be good , not a specialist in UK law, cannot give you false hopes what will happen

I worked with someone whom I was almost sure is coming from a nearby prison for ladies and she was so lovely. I felt she just slipped on the wrong foot. I hope you are allowed to start making progress and rebuild normal life ASAP

50Balesofgrey · 27/02/2025 21:54

What a load of self justifying minimisation. If coercion was involved it should have been part of your defence. If this is subsequent, but substantiates reduced culpability then request to vacate your plea and seek a new trial.

You should expect to receive the custodial sentence that you knew was the likely end result of £60K worth of planned and persistent offending. And which you richly deserve.

You are just whining about getting caught. What would you have done to make reparations if you hadn't been caught?

Futb · 27/02/2025 21:56

50Balesofgrey · 27/02/2025 21:54

What a load of self justifying minimisation. If coercion was involved it should have been part of your defence. If this is subsequent, but substantiates reduced culpability then request to vacate your plea and seek a new trial.

You should expect to receive the custodial sentence that you knew was the likely end result of £60K worth of planned and persistent offending. And which you richly deserve.

You are just whining about getting caught. What would you have done to make reparations if you hadn't been caught?

Probably not become a renounced Christian I’m guessing.

MissRoseDurward · 27/02/2025 22:03

Thank you, the guy has been messaging me since I was arrested too. Harassing me with messages that I’ve ignored so I think I shall bring that up to my solicitor

Tell your solicitor immediately. Also tell the police. Have you kept the messages? Depending on what the messages say, this could come under the heading of attempting to pervert the course of justice and would be taken very seriously by the court.

Gongpostal · 27/02/2025 22:09

Obviously I can't be certain but a friend of mine had a similar charge £30k fraud and theft. First offence, other circumstances and mitigating issues. They got community service and a fine. Lots of things are taken into consideration and from what you have said it's unlikely you will receive a custodial sentence. Try not to worry (easier said than done I know!) be kind to yourself xx

Cucy · 27/02/2025 22:09

As this was a few years ago, whatever you have done in the meantime will work in your favour - getting a job and continuing your work, not getting into trouble with the law etc.

As a female you are also less likely to receive a prison sentence.

I do know many single parents who have gone to prison but they are men and their kids have either gone to family members or in foster care.

Of course you don’t want your kids going into foster care but honestly in my experience these kids are treated wonderfully and are really well cared for by their foster parents.

Unfortunately you do not know the outcome until it comes.

As SS are already involved with you anyway then I would speak to them about the process and when you should explain it to your kids and whether you should start preparing them etc.

Cucy · 27/02/2025 22:11

Any communication between you and anyone else involved should definitely be kept and reported.

This man would be recruiting many women and doing this regularly and it’s these bigger fish that the police want to catch.

Topiography · 27/02/2025 22:14

@Lonerangerr

OP, please read all of Psalm 91 and then Psalm 94 verses 17-19.
You need reassurance and you will find it in The Word.

parietal · 27/02/2025 22:15

gather all the evidence you can, texts etc. demonstrate your poor mental health at the time the man recruited you and the coercion from him.

would you be prepared to testify against the man who recruited you if he was on trial?

do you know what happened to the cars after the fraud?

Ohnobackagain · 27/02/2025 22:15

@Lonerangerr there was a similar thread to this and the OP didn’t go to prison. She also was honest with her new employer and kept the job. I hope similar can be the case for you.

Original poster
Lonerangerr · 27/02/2025 22:20

50Balesofgrey · 27/02/2025 21:54

What a load of self justifying minimisation. If coercion was involved it should have been part of your defence. If this is subsequent, but substantiates reduced culpability then request to vacate your plea and seek a new trial.

You should expect to receive the custodial sentence that you knew was the likely end result of £60K worth of planned and persistent offending. And which you richly deserve.

You are just whining about getting caught. What would you have done to make reparations if you hadn't been caught?

I will take whatever plea or route keeps me with my children. Especially when my daughter is 5 and going through one of the worst times a person could go through.

Not once have I said I don't deserve anything coming to me. I have sinned and will accept any punishment that may follow. If I didn't have children, I wouldn't be as worried about serving time. It's not about me receiving punishment but the fall out for my children.

I have and will work with the police. There are multiple people involved in this crime and will aid them in their investigation. I didn't know there was victims until I was arrested and it has ate me up everyday. I will put right what has happened in anyway I can.

Not whining, just going through a hard time in circumstance I have never experienced and am seeking advice as my worry is what will happen to my children. The effect of this is that I feel low, which as a human being, I'm allowed to feel regardless of what has happened. I accept what I have done wrong and will take whatever punishment they decide, I just want to control the fallout for other innocent parties.

OP posts: