Possible prison sentence - what happens to my children?

[Lonerangerr]

I know what I did was wrong and I know that people will not like what I done but I accept what I’ve done and wish I could turn back time.

a few years ago, I suffered a horrendous break up which dug up decades of trauma and resulted in me attempting to take my life. Following this, I was self sabotaging in any way possible and feeling unworthy. During this time, I was struggling with money. Not stable enough mentally to go to work whilst also trying to care for 2 children. During this time a friend reached out to me and offered me some money in exchange for doing something for him.

He set me up with someone who made fake car finance applications and set me up with a fake ID to complete these applications and collect the cars. The payment for this was so small so I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t even rationalise that this was illegal. He told me that the identities were fake and not linked to real people. I completed one and collected the car for him early in the year.

a couple of months after, I finally got a job, was having therapy and bettering my life. Until this guy reached out again asking me to collect another car. I was reluctant and tried to ignore him but he was persistent. He messaged and called me non stop. He knew where I lived and where I worked and in the end I felt scared that he would come for me so I went to get the car.

not long after, I was arrested for fraud. The investigation has been going on for 18 months and they have finally charged me. I’m due in court soon and honestly feel like life is over for me. The amount of fraud totals to around £60,000 and everything online points to a custodial sentence.

I have never committed a crime in my life apart from this. I know I was in a bad state of mind but really I should’ve still known right from wrong. On top of this, my daughter has accused her dad of SA and there is currently and investigation going on meaning I’m her sole carer.

I’m scared and hate myself for what I have done. I don’t recognise the girl I was back then. I’m a devote Christian now, working hard on myself, dealt with my life of trauma through multiple types of therapy, I have recovered from the darkest period of my life. I need to be here for my daughter now but I know the reality is that I’ll be behind bars and I won’t be able to keep her safe.

I don’t know what to do and have found myself slipping back into depression with bad thoughts since receiving the papers.

what is going to happen to my girls? I don’t want them to be in care, my mistake shouldn’t have to impact them and I feel like the worst mother ever for letting them down. I hate myself for all of this

Paying for a solicitor is worth every penny.

I have my mum. I know I need to seek legal advice but I’m hoping I would be able to give her parental responsibility so they can stay together and with her but I’m just not sure how the system works

I’m unclear if you are intending to plead guilty?

The sentencing guidelines for Fraud are here. It will depend a great deal on how the offence is classified by the judge, the value bumps it up. You need good advice from your solicitor and should consider changing or getting a good barrister who can provide the best positioning and then mitigation possible.
www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/offences/magistrates-court/item/fraud/

If it helps, I know somebody who stole over £500,000 of goods. Charged with money laundering and fraud. Was caught in 2017 and it's still not got to court. You probably have ages before anything becomes real.

I started my journey in Christianity before I was arrested for this. Usually the darkest times bring people into his light

If you do end up.in.prison it won't be for long. I think most people who have good behaviour get let out after only half their sentence is served. Your DC would go into foster care and be well cared for. They would be allowed to write to you and post you pictures they draw. Once you get out your DC would come back to.live with you. You might not even get a custodial sentence.

Take screenshots of the messages from the man in case he deletes them. This shows he pressured you into doing it. Don't respond to him. If he turns up at your door, dial 999. You should get another solicitor. Speak to Citizens Advice. Good luck and I hope you manage to change your life around, to stay with your children and that you get the support you need.

OP, try not to focus on the finger-wagging posts, there are always a couple of those; they live to put the boot in. Ignore them if you can.

Please do write notes for yourself so that you can raise all of these points with your solicitor, don't leave anything out even if you think it irrelevant, let your solicitor deal with it for you. They will be far better placed to give you an idea of what you're facing, try not to google.

Wishing you a quick resolution and the help you need to deal with the multiple piles of crap you have on your plate at the moment. It will pass.

what is going to happen to my girls? I don’t want them to be in care, my mistake shouldn’t have to impact them and I feel like the worst mother ever for letting them down.

Do you have family who are prepared to take them in? If not, depending on the length of sentence, emergency foster care could be an option.

I should add that I am in no way an expert in these matters, so don’t take my words as gospel (no pun intended). Can your solicitor tell you more? Can you speak to the Citizens Advice Bureau?

Read the sentencing guidelines. As sole carer it's unlikely you'll get a custodial sentence however it's still possible. 60k is an awful lot of money.
Plead guilty early as this helps with sentencing mitigation.

Wtf is wrong with you?

Even if you stand by your response, why the venom?

Social Services would assess your mother, inspect her home, interview her and anyone else who lives in her home and do background checks. From memory they may well expect references as well. SS would continue to visit to check on the children and how your mother was coping, same as they’d do with foster parents.

Sorry OP - I can see you’ve already addressed some of these points while I was typing.

Thank you everyone for your advice, you don’t understand just how much it helps❤️

I realise there’s a few things I haven’t answered. I don’t know what happened to the cars after, I do believe they have both been found now. I would 100000% testify against the lead in all of this and dread to think how many others may have been vulnerable that he “recruited”.
I intend to plead guilty as this is the advice from my solicitor so far. I believe I should own up to the role I played in this.

i have kept all messages from the guy and will keep a record of any attempt of contact. He has consistently bribed me to message him back on many messaging platforms too.

again, thank you so much for your messages so far. I appreciate you all❤️

It’s abit more than a “mistake” though isnt it? I wouldn’t lay on the “woe is me have now seen the light” thing quite so thickly in court it’s abit obvious. The prisons are full and it’s a first offence so hopefully you’ll get a suspended sentence. I used to do some criminal defence work about a hundred years ago and all the clients had tales like this.

OP, in my retirement job I have interviewed and employed two people who broke the law in similar circumstances. They are both exemplary people who turned their lives around completely. They are both lovely and a massive asset to our organisation. They have completely changed how I see people who've offended (and are both devout Christians, too, which is why they came to mind when I read your post). You remind me of them, so I'm wishing you all the luck with this.

I think it's unlikely that you will be imprisoned, but do please ensure that your solicitor sees those messages, and that the judge is made aware of your child's desperate need for security and her mother.

I have no intention to lean on “seeing the light”. I placed that to give an overview of what my life I like now. I done wrong and admit that, I will take the punishment but my worry is my children now. I have bettered myself since it happened because after therapy and starting my journey as a Christian, I realised the dark path I had fallen on and that I couldn’t continue to make the bad choices I had previously made. Bettering myself is about becoming the best mother I can be and keeping my children happy, unfortunately my past also needs to be dealt with and I made bad choices which I wish I hadn’t.

but thank you for your advice

Ok so I agree with others given the mitigating factors I think it's unlikely they will see as proportionate to send you to prison. But get your ducks in a row so if the worst happens and you were to get a custodial sentence you have a plan. Consider who in your circle of family and friends could care for your daughters? Social care will not want to take the children into care - that will be an absolutely worst case scenario and they will only do that if you can't find anyone safe and appropriate to look after your children.

You mention your mum, if she was able and willing then that can happen as a private family arrangement and you don't need to seek any kind of order to support that given it is only for a fixed term period. If you are looking a friend you would need to notify social care so they could assess it as a private fostering arrangement. Try to focus on getting a plan together, bring school into the discussion once you have a plan so they can also support the girls. All of this is hopefully not going to be needed but knowing you've done everything you need to in case will help reduce your anxiety a little.

It’s not the same situation but when I first moved my DD stayed with family, I did have to set up the paperwork regarding school, etc, but generally it was easily done.

I don’t know if anyone has brought this up or not but if you’re going to be away from them, I would do everything I could to place them only with a female relative with no male live in relatives. Obviously not everyone is a criminal, but you can imagine why I’m saying this.

I hope everything goes well with you. I don’t know how fraud works but I’d hope if all there is to it is money you wouldn’t have to be in prison.

OP, you should tell the police about this.
keep the messages
Report him for harassment.
Tell them what he is doing.
This will help prove that you acted under duress

And tell your solicitor too.

What's so funny, futb? Nothing about the OP's situation is amusing and I don't appreciate the 'laughing' emoji.

Op some people live for judgement and would happily lock people up and throw away the key. You'll find plenty of them on this site unfortunately. I'd recommend ignoring them.

I personally think you've done great to turn things around so much for yourself and I think the steps you need to take now are to see if you'd be entitled to legal aid and try to get a good solicitor. I'd make sure you're engaging with police and social services and your child's school around the SA and I'd be trying to identify someone who you trust who could care for your kids in the event of you having to serve a sentence. If you're unable to look after them and their father is deemed unsafe then social services will look for a kinship carer so if you have someone in mind you could nominate that would be a good starting point. If that's not possible then it would be emergency foster care until a longer placement comes available. My thinking in telling you this is not that you'll end up in prison but that it's always good to have a plan in place.

However, I'm not a solicitor but I do think it sounds like there are some mitigating factors in your case and if you feel your solicitor is not adequately using these to fight your corner, then you need to change solicitor. Hopefully you won't have a custodial sentence op. Document every bit of contact from this man and definitely talk to your solicitor about it. You don't need to talk to everyone in your church if you don't want to but maybe a pastor or someone who you can trust with keeping it confidential or a small prayer group you feel are supportive? Keep practicing as much self care as you can. Lean on others who are supportive and positive and I'd be thinking long term if you can do any study or something to get a better paid job for more stability in your life?

Back off and pick on someone your own size. Kicking someone when they’re down is a lowlife move.You’re a bully.

OP - you need to find a better solicitor. You need to do everything you can to do that. Make sure you take screenshots of the messages from the man coercing you incase he deletes them. You can do this. I’m not religious, but I’m glad religion is bringing you comfort, but don’t rely on that, you need a good solicitor. Do it for your daughter.

You poor thing. It sounds like you weren't thinking straight back then and weren't in a good place at all. You have done so well to pick yourself up and improve your life. Please don't slip back into old ways and do block that bloke's number.
Above all, try to be kind to yourself and best of luck x

Ooh, and definitely pass on the texts to your solicitor. Duress and coercive control.