Possible prison sentence - what happens to my children?

[Lonerangerr]

I know what I did was wrong and I know that people will not like what I done but I accept what I’ve done and wish I could turn back time.

a few years ago, I suffered a horrendous break up which dug up decades of trauma and resulted in me attempting to take my life. Following this, I was self sabotaging in any way possible and feeling unworthy. During this time, I was struggling with money. Not stable enough mentally to go to work whilst also trying to care for 2 children. During this time a friend reached out to me and offered me some money in exchange for doing something for him.

He set me up with someone who made fake car finance applications and set me up with a fake ID to complete these applications and collect the cars. The payment for this was so small so I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t even rationalise that this was illegal. He told me that the identities were fake and not linked to real people. I completed one and collected the car for him early in the year.

a couple of months after, I finally got a job, was having therapy and bettering my life. Until this guy reached out again asking me to collect another car. I was reluctant and tried to ignore him but he was persistent. He messaged and called me non stop. He knew where I lived and where I worked and in the end I felt scared that he would come for me so I went to get the car.

not long after, I was arrested for fraud. The investigation has been going on for 18 months and they have finally charged me. I’m due in court soon and honestly feel like life is over for me. The amount of fraud totals to around £60,000 and everything online points to a custodial sentence.

I have never committed a crime in my life apart from this. I know I was in a bad state of mind but really I should’ve still known right from wrong. On top of this, my daughter has accused her dad of SA and there is currently and investigation going on meaning I’m her sole carer.

I’m scared and hate myself for what I have done. I don’t recognise the girl I was back then. I’m a devote Christian now, working hard on myself, dealt with my life of trauma through multiple types of therapy, I have recovered from the darkest period of my life. I need to be here for my daughter now but I know the reality is that I’ll be behind bars and I won’t be able to keep her safe.

I don’t know what to do and have found myself slipping back into depression with bad thoughts since receiving the papers.

what is going to happen to my girls? I don’t want them to be in care, my mistake shouldn’t have to impact them and I feel like the worst mother ever for letting them down. I hate myself for all of this

I very much doubt you'll do custodial time, it was 60 K of fraud you were involved in but weren't solely responsible for. You have changed your life a lot since then and you serving a custodial sentence would help no one you have two small girls relying on you needing their mummy. You have a job and you are supporting and raising your children.

Hang in there and ignore the twats they're not worth your headspace

In the meantime I don't introduce any of your friends. You would be happy to have your DD have sleepovers with and click from school and that kind of thing that can support your mum should the worst come to the worst.

The way social services is I would think your mum would have to be an incredibly bad option for them not to allow her to have them

I hope they catch the big fry here and they do long stretches of custodial time and I hope they stop bothering you

Talk to someone in your church that you trust the higher up the better and they may even have a lawyer that can help out the one you have doesn't seem terribly interested and it would be in your best interest to find one that seems to be more willing to fight your corner and get the blame put where the blame lays. Yes, you played your part knowing it was wrong. But the first time you were you were desperate and the second time you were scared and you didn't know either time that it would impact individual real people,

I don't have a religious bone in my body, but I think it will be good if you have some way of showing that you 'found religion' before you were charged and that it's genuine and not just thinking it would show you in a good light as many in Trouble do.

Like I said, I very much doubt you will serve any custodial time so try not to spiral with this worry and lose your way with this new life you have created

Best wishes and best of luck
xx

It certainly isn’t funny but your finger wagging comment is ridiculous, because someone dares question the reasons and doesn’t agree with you.

Not venomous, and nothing wrong with me . Lots of people have difficulties. They don't respond by repeatedly and deliberately defrauding people.
Repentance requires restitution in order to be genuine. I may have missed the steps the OP has taken to reimburse the victims

Thank you for this update. I’ve softened wondered what the outcome was for that OP.

Yes well, explain that to MNHQ.

She was but a small cog in that fraud engine, and only got a pittance from that £60k. The man behind the operation and who DID pocket the cash is the one who should make recompense.

If you can't find any empathy for OP, at least have some for her kids.

For real?

You’ve reported me because of an emoji and because I don’t agree with you?! 🙄 That’s absolutely ridiculous.

You need to sort your legal advice out now OP, not just acknowledge that you need to do it! Do you have a solicitor at least?

I don't mean this to sound harsh, but I'd can all the new Christian / finding God stuff.. fair play to you if it has helped you turn your life around, and I do genuinely mean that, but it doesn't mean anything to anyone else, and should have absolutely no bearing on the facts, anyone you tell that to has no way of knowing if it is actually true or not, or if it just a lie to make it appear as if you've seen the light and changed your ways.. I think the timing will always sound convenient, suspicious and fake tbh, even if it is genuine.

Besides, It sounds like you were already bettering your circumstances and sorting your life out before the second incident so that's all you need to say.

Stick to the facts and leave the mumbo jumbo out of it would be my advice.

You didn't 'disagree', you didn't do anything but post a moronic emoji. Use your words next time, if there has to be one. I don't change my username ever so I'm easy to avoid.

Course I disagreed. I thought it was ridiculous that you were having a dig at people that weren’t fawning over OP and saying they (we) were finger wagers
so I laughed and you didn’t like it. Clearly want to teach me a lesson and try and ban me.

You took a shot at my religion which was unnecessary. I can see from previous comments that you don’t like religion and believe it shouldn’t exist. I appreciate that is your view but there’s no need to make comments about it. Agree to disagree.

it’s really tit for tat when you have made digs yourself. There’s better things to be doing than arguing online. I wanted advice on how to plan for my children. If you don’t have any, that’s fine but please stop with the unnecessary comments, thank you.

I’ll give my reasoning -

I would question the legitimacy of someone ‘finding god’ after committing a crime. Some people will be absolutely genuine and others not so, but use it as a guise to appear to be a new model citizens in the hope of a more lenient sentence.

FWIW I don’t think you’ll go to prison at all. I think you’re worrying unnecessarily but I understand why you are worried. The state of the prison service now and the fact you have children almost certainly means you’ll be ok.

It sounds like this guy was coercing you into doing this stuff. You admit fully you did it but under desperation and possible duress while mentally ill. Unless you've done lots of frauds before and been caught and charged then I'd say it's slim to zero you'll go to prison.
It's not in the interest of you or your kid. The bloke who keeps trying to make you do it should be imprisoned. I'm sure the magistrate will see it that way. You'll get suspended or maybe less. I hope.
I hope you know that there's no such thing as easy money. You won't do it again and I think they'll see that.
I wish you well. People make mistakes but just learn from them and move forward x

Posters are being reported for bullying, not for having an opinion. Please everyone try not to engage with them.

The trouble is that the court will have heard the redemption story a million times. It's the go to mitigation for many, together with women asking for lenience so that their children don't have to go into care. I don't think this will affect the sentencing unless you're very lucky.

I would question the legitimacy of someone ‘finding god’ after committing a crime

Given that Jesus himself was killed as a criminal, and that Paul who wrote much of the New Testament was previously involved in much persecution and killing, and King David in the OT also a serious sinner, I don’t think it makes much sense to question this. The whole message of Christianity is so geared towards those who know they have done wrong. Jesus even said he came for sinners, not for the righteous. It would honestly make more sense to question the legitimacy of a Christian who hasn’t done things they’re ashamed of.

Hay, don’t worry. I was arrested for something more serious (well, probably more serious in the eyes of the law, hard to actually quantify) when I was younger and everything online said jail. I got a conditional discharge. They really do not like to put first time offenders in jail. I understand what you’re going through, so I’m not going to say calm down or anything, but try to relax. Follow your lawyers advice, be cooperative, and look after yourself.

Fgs, get in touch with your solicitor and make sure he understands everything about your case.

Show the solicitor the messages you've been receiving from this man.

You need to be extremely proactive here in making sure you get proper representation.

How the system works is you get the best solicitor you can afford, and you tell him or her everything.

Do not sit around wringing your hands and feeling sorry. You need a good solicitor.

A very ex friend of mine stole £48k from her son's trust fund from his dad who died when he was young. She had been making documents & getting relatives & trustees to sign them to release the money. She got sentenced to 30 months & served just over 12 months.xc

Seems a pretty basic point but make sure that you have a criminal solicitor and ask about your barrister too.
I have knowledge of a case, conspiracy, 13 defendants, £100+k. First trial all 6 guilty. Second group all not guilty. All plead not guilty. Appeals now pending because it was very similar to Post office scandal.
In the first trial, two women got 3 months & 1 fined, The men 1 year & 2 x 2 years. So far as I know, those with dual nationalities served the full term. UK passport holders 1/4 sentence.
So I would expect, without mitigation and with children, you would be looking, at the worst a very short time away from home. More likely you will be given community service a substantial part of which is courses. The worst punishment will be the costs which will remind you of your ordeal for a lot longer than the sentence,
Good luck and let your faith help you

@Lonerangerr You need to screen shot these so that you have records of them if he deletes them. You also need to share them with your solicitor immediately.

I agree with others that you are very unlikely to go to prison, and that if you do it will be for a very short period, and they will be able to stay with you mum (assuming she agrees and there's no reason that she would be considered unfit). I also agree you need to tell your solicitor about the coercion and the recent messages.

Two things I want to add: I appreciate you've found Christianity and have accepted that you have sinned etc, and that some see this as an attempt to escape blame. I'm going to assume this is true and leave it to the courts to judge that - no way for anyone on here to know! You sound like someone who has newly arrived at their faith and is embracing it whole heartedly. There's nothing wrong with that (I'm atheist myself but, genuinely, you do you!) but what I've observed is that some people at this stage can be a bit overly fanatical and might take an all in approach that maybe wouldn't be the case for someone who had (eg) grown up in the church. Don't let your view that your religion requires you to accept that you have sinned stop you from presenting mitigations in court that your actions were coerced, or that there were understandable reasons that led to this. Absolutely plead guilty if that is what your solicitor advises but also give your solicitor all the information and allow them to make the best case for mitigation that they can. Remember, this is all about what is best for your children. If you are conflicted about this, talk to your church because unless they are very very extreme they will agree with me.

Second point is don't be afraid of asking your solicitor questions. They may be a bit rubbish, and they're probably overworked, and you may have to prod them a bit. But don't let that stop you doing everything you can to minimise the impact of this on your kids (which includes having the right information to plan for a prison sentence). If your solicitor is truly bad, it is possible to replace them.

This. What you can do for yourself, therefore your daughter, is get the absolute best representation you can afford. It’s the absolute most important thing here. If it doesn’t feel like the solicitor have at the moment is proactively doing everything they can for you, then do not take any chances with going ahead with them.