Baby Removed at Birth Support

[Mumtobe799]

Hello

This is extremely controversial and I feel embarrassed posting but I’m looking for a bit of help. I am due to give birth within the next few weeks and after Social Services involvement throughout my pregnancy, I have been told they will be removing my baby at birth. Baby will be placed with their Dad under an interim court order whilst assessments are ongoing.

Does anybody know what removal at birth actually means? My baby and I will need to stay in hospital for a few days, is it likely I will be able to stay with them or will they likely split us up? These are questions I have asked Social Services but they will not give me an answer.

I would like to breast feed; is this something Social Services have to support as it is in the best interest of baby. My baby is being removed due to mental health concerns, no issues around substance or alcohol abuse so that being in breast milk isn’t a worry.

If anyone with any legal experience or people who may have gone through or know someone who has gone through something similar can help I would really appreciate it. Thank you.

Just wanted to send you a hug.
What a tough situation X

I’m so sorry your DC receive reports like this too! It is really dehumanising, I come out of every meeting feeling like the worst human in the world ever.

I had psychosis for a long time after the birth of my first but once it had gone, it didn’t come back until half way through this pregnancy. There’s no concerns around my parents and they regularly look after older child so hopefully I can’t spend time with baby there.

You might think this is a bit woo. But your brain remains active even in deep sleep, so you can continue to interact with your baby in your sleep/dreams.

I am seen as ‘too risky’ as I tried to harm myself whilst pregnant which is seen as harm to baby, I believe this is the main reason the MBU declining me.

Oh love, my mum was so poorly with psychosis she had ECT, and was on so much medication largactil was horrible. But she managed to to raise me, we've been homeless twice. But she now has a lovely home and four grandchildren. I love my mum so much, I've had depression but not phycosis but my mums experience has taught me so much. You can get well and be a good mum x

This is lovely and might help me sleep. I just don’t want to miss a minute with them.

Very sorry to hear you find yourself in this situation OP. I really do wish you all the best.

In my observations it is 24 hrs after birth that baby can be removed. Baby will then go to NICU. You will not be allowed to see baby.

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum, I’m glad she’s got a lovely home and Grandchildren now.

Do you mind me asking if the ECT helped her? I’m thinking of asking to be considered for it as I have psychosis and depression I think it could help.

My baby doesn’t need to go to NICU, they just need standard observations for withdrawal symptoms of prescribed medications.

Baby is going to Dad, not a foster carer etc so does this make a difference? There is no plan to remove from family, just for baby to live with Dad for now.

OP said upthread she doesn’t meet the criteria. She was mentally unwell for a year after the last pregnancy and has been unwell during this one.

She already has a solicitor. Parents are given a letter when the decision is made to issue proceedings or pre proceedings that they can take to a solicitor and get legal aid

There IS a huge back story. It's not even hard to find, OP has been very open on this thread.

Please ignore this. This does not happen unless I’m the most extreme circumstances such as you try and physically harm baby post birth. You will likely be under observation so this risk is reduced and baby will remain with you.

legally baby cannot be removed unless under police protection (see example above) or with court order so baby will stay with you until the court hearing has happened unless you are too unwell or there is a medical reason for you and baby to be apart.

sadly a lot of people don’t understand psychosis. It’s almost like gas lighting on steroids. To the pp who question your accountability, imagine I showed up at your home and started describing events you had no memory of, and behaviours you could never imagine yourself doing. I then ask you to admit and agree you did all those things. Of course you would struggle with it.

OP I would ask your legal to consider again a specialist unit for you and baby to stay together. At the very least push for an ISW who is experienced in mental health to carry out your assessment.

And yes, you will be able to name baby.

Are you a social worker @TheSilkWorm? Do you know how I find out their birth plan? I have asked my solicitor but Social Services solicitor is not being forthcoming at all.

She has a lawyer!!

I hope this is comforting, babies’ leave their DNA with their mums forever. So she will always be connected to you.

She's already answered this. She doesn't meet the criteria.

Yes I am. Your solicitor needs to push the local authority's solicitor if the social worker isn't responding to you clearly enough.

Sending very best wishes to you.

With regard to breastfeeding, it isn’t the be all and end all. I had to accept that as my DS1 simply refused and not one midwife could get him to latch on and feed. Thank God for sensible community midwives and HVs who reassured me regarding bottle feeding. DS2 was delivered via cs and although probably would have bf as he was trying to root, staff shortages plus my coming to terms with bottle feeding meant he was bottle fed as well. Both had some expressed milk over the first few weeks - hopefully you can provide this if you can’t actually bf. But - mine had mainly formula and are now 24 and 16 - and very fit and healthy and there is no reason your baby won’t be either if formula fed.

Focus on the longer term goal of getting well so you can have more time with your DC. Don’t get derailed from this by worrying if breastfeeding doesn’t go to plan for whatever reason. I spent too many days very upset about it 24 years ago.

@Mumtobe799 I was very unwell after my baby was born and it was horrible but I went into a mother baby psychiatric unit. There were lots of assessments and meetings before discharge and there was one social worker who I felt didn’t understand the situation (though her actions came from a place of wanting to care for my baby.) Ultimately social work worked with me to make a family care plan and the psychiatrist advocated for me. Why is there no such facility available to you? They helped me get well and learn to care for my baby safely.

They also provided my partner with support to understand what was going on . It’s awful that care is so bad in other parts of the country as this should be available to all.

Thank you for your response. Your description of psychosis is right, I have often been pushed into a corner to agree that I am a certain way or criticised for lack of memory. I truly believe that unless you’ve experienced it or work closely with it then you have no idea.

How do I get an ISW? I’m due to give birth soon so I doubt this will happen before birth, do I just ask for my solicitor to make an application for an independent social worker assessment?

Haven’t read all the posts but they absolutely should support breastfeeding. In fact in NI for example there is a specific team who support women whose children have been removed. Phone your hospital and ask for the Infant Feeding Lead.

I don't mind you asking, my mum had ECT when I was very young. I don't think it helped.