Left my toddler in the car yesterday. Will I be in trouble?

[LivelyLion]

Yesterday, my 21 month old had just fallen asleep in the car as I was on my way home. I needed to call into the supermarket to get her some food, so parked in the closest possible parking space and ran in as quickly as I could and was gone for a couple of minutes tops.

When I returned, what seemed to be an employee was taking pictures of the car and rightfully gave me a telling off for leaving her in the car unattended. Now I can’t stop feeling guilty and can’t stop thinking about the consequences. Is this a social service matter or even a police matter if he passes those photos on? My child had woke by the time I got back which makes me feel worse and I feel like it makes the situation seem worse. What are the possible repercussions?

This thread is mad.

How many cars do you see 'smashed' in to others in car parks?

It was luck the the bag didn't die?

This is like another universe.

I did this once and realised half way through it was a terrible thing and I still have occasional nightmares about it 7 years later (coming back to find car stolen/baby not in car).

I am not excusing it, it's obviously dreadfully poor parenting. But. I was sleep deprived and desperate. In hindsight the sleep deprivation was so bad that I wasn't thinking straight.

OP are you OK generally, do you get a solid 8 hours sleep a night, do you have the support of DH with chores?

This thread is running out of control.

It was a massive error of judgement OP. Stupid.

Hoping you would never do it again. If you need food for your LO get them a drive through MC Ds.

No idea if SS would really follow up.

What’s worrying is that this is probably bot the first time OP has done this and had she not been caught, it would not have been the last.
I would say be grateful that any possible involvement you have as a consequence of your actions and poor decision making will be from police and SS rather than an undertaker!

OP

I don't think SS will get involved.

You just made an error once leaving your child in the car.

I think lesson learnt.

Agreed. Kicking her when she's already down is pointless. It was a stupid thing to do, sure, but we all make parenting errors. The streets aren't teeming with potential baby kidnappers either. The vast majority of people really couldn't be bothered with the hassle!

Whether SS take it further, I don't know. I doubt she'd get more than a call and another ticking off though, given she's obviously remorseful and accepting of her error.

It was very hot here yesterday. I hope you're in a cooler place, even a couple of minutes in a hot car can be really dangerous.

I mean she has given us no reason to be supportive. This is appalling. You just don't do it.

Well hopefully you’ve learnt your lesson! Never ever do that again!

Give over! If I saw a young child alone in a car I’d be furious with the parent responsible, male or female. Would you be so supportive if it had been the dad?

I really can’t stand this view of being supportive of someone just because they’re a woman, regardless.

I think the op has got the idea now that this was utterly unacceptable.

I have no idea what will happen now op but please please don’t do this again.

It's happened to me twice in my town. Car parks are well known accident hotspots. A quick Google suggests up to 1 in 5 collisions are in car parks.

They could be helpful rather than just self-righteous.

Yes it was the wrong choice. Why was this choice made, what's going on - these are important questions.

People claiming to be adults should understand there is a wide spectrum of people in the big wide world, not just 'perfect parents' and 'neglectful parents'.

We all do things that we later think we shouldn't have done.
Parenting is full of decisions like this.
All is well now.
(I have paid for petrol and left them asleep)

Jesus, sorry op but that's awful. Employee was right to do that. Heat, accident, someone breaking the window and running off with DC, I couldn't do it. Nevermind the fact that I would feel awful even if DC just woke up and cried for me and I didn't come... I have a 4 year old and an 18 month old and I wouldn't even leave the 4 year old.

Furious is a weird response. Do you have anger issues?

Concerned is appropriate, yes call the authorities. But furious is inappropriate until you know all the back story.

You deserve to be arrested.

Not going to berate you for this mistake as I’m sure you know it wasn’t very wise! This happened to my best friend, her husband left their sleeping toddler in the car while he ran across the road to get his other child from school, didn’t even know anyone had noticed, later that day the police arrived at the house, friend was furious with DH and horrified by police coming. She said police were absolutely lovely, said they could see it was a genuine lapse of judgment and kids were safe and well cared for, she heard no more about it. I think if anyone contacts you about it, apologise, admit it was a lapse in judgment and you won’t do it again, I doubt anymore will come from it.

Absolute madness how this even crossed your mind. You wake your toddler up, put them in the pram and go inside or you leave the shopping until another day.

NEVER leave your child by themselves, ever! Why would you even do that? I doubt SS will do anything but you seen more bothered by the possibility of getting in trouble as opposed to your actions

A couple of minutes tops? Would love to be able to get from the car, round the shop (even for a couple of things), through checkout and back to the car in less than 120 seconds!

You know this isn’t ok, OP. I used to leave DC asleep in the car on the gated driveway (whilst I was at the front of the house so could see) . Until someone smashed the gates open and my car was stolen from the driveway in broad daylight! I’ve never done it again, I was hysterical for a long time. Now if DC falls asleep in the car I sit in there with him for however long.

I assume though, going forwards you won’t do this again and DC is safe. It’s also far too hot to leave children unattended in the car even in a “safe” place.

Hi OP

What you've done wasn't right and I think you know that by now. I'm not going to kick you while you're down, but I'm going to give you a wee tip...
This happens to me all the time with my 2 and a half year old - she'll fall asleep in the car in the car park of wherever we're headed. I just sit in the car and enjoy a bit of "me time" while she sleeps for a while - whip out my Kindle or have a wee mindless scroll on social media. If she's still asleep after a set amount of time, I'll gently wake her up and, if it's a supermarket, I'll pop her in the seat of the trolley.

I think the crazy rise is car theft in the middle of the day is the scariest thing… and they steal cars from car parks all the time.

It really wasn't hot at all where I live yesterday. It was raining.

Lesson learned, hopefully. Don’t do it again.