Help I need advice on a declaration of trust

[NiftyLilacSwan]

Hi,

I have been with my husband for 22 years and married for almost 17 years. We have 3 DC, 2 of which have SEN. I work and have worked very hard to get to a good place career wise, he on the other hand goes through jobs like hot dinners (he’s had 3 different jobs in 12 months) and earns around 20-30% less than me. I contribute my whole salary to our household and I always have i am also the main career for our DC.

His parents have now offered him a substantial gift to help us get on the property ladder. We also have other money to go toward the purchase so it is not solely depended on this ‘gift’. They have now said that I HAVE to sign a declaration of trust to say that I will get absolutely no share of the gift. I am very upset as I have worked very hard for our family while their son has done the bare minimum over the course of our marriage. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love him and don’t want this to tear us apart but I am also not willing to give everything to him if we do divorce one day (I don’t think we will but you never know).

By me refusing to sign this I am being told by them that it proves I am only after his parents money, although I have never taken a penny from them or asked. And that if I don’t sign I shouldn’t go on holiday as I’m making things very awkward by not signing. It’s also been implied that my marriage may be over if I don’t sign.

my biggest issue is that if we do split I will not be left with enough money to buy something of my own and he will be left in a very good position.

sorry for the long winded post but I really don’t know what to do and we’re meant to be staying with them for 2 weeks over the summer and it’s been made very clear if I don’t sign I’m not welcome to stay with them. I have paid (not husband) and planned this trip for my children for the past 6 months and my kids are very excited so in my opinion if I don’t sign I’m also ruining my kids summer.

I suppose what I’m asking is how enforceable will this be if we do divorce?? And am I being unreasonable not signing?

thanks for reading

Declarations between married partners don’t have the same legal standing as unmarried ones. It sounds like they are trying to cause problems between you both. Do not a accept their terms. I would thank them for thinking of you as a gift but decline it. Make your own way as a married couple without their help if necessary.

Just refuse. If they want to give him money they will, then when he dies it will be yours all yours.

Also if you accept the gift towards a house purchase and it’s not correctly recorded between parties legally you in laws could claim a beneficial interest in the house. Please be careful circumstances can easily change especially where money is concerned.