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Original poster

Intestate question

254 replies

WingingItSince1973 · 07/05/2024 22:07

My dad died on Sunday. We didn't have a close relationship. I did try and keep up one with him but he was a stubborn man and I don't think really like me as we are very different people. My mum was a victim of dv and left him when I was a toddler (am 50 now). I had close relationship with aunties and grandparents on his side of family so saw him sporadically during my teens but nothing much during my adulthood. Anyway I was called to the hospital by my aunty and was with him when he died. He wasn't awake and I'm not sure if he knew I was there. So here's the thing. Aunty messaged me to ask if his name is on my birth certificate. It is and I sent her a screenshot. Now he didn't have a will and I'm and have been for the last 10 years his next of kin. No more children. He outlived his partner and they weren't married. There seems to be no legal papers anywhere to suggest anyone is next of kin. I'm being told now that a verbal agreement was my aunty and another uncle to have any money left over and treat myself and 3 others whatever that means. My aunty had a very close relationship with him along with my remaining two uncles. My question is would I be contacted regarding his 'estate'? He didn't own property and I have no idea of his finances. They are emptying his council house this week and have turned down my offers of help. There's also a chance now of compensation as he died with a condition bought about by his working environment and we are waiting for post mortem. My aunty wants to take over everything. Morally and legally what should I do? I'm not one for confrontation and it would be easier to give my aunty legal powers but then part of me thinks my dad owes me for never ever providing anything for me. I hate this though as I'm not at all materialistic but if there's a good amount of money it would really help my situation as I don't work due to illness and my poor dh shoulders the burden of earning a living and we live week to week. Sorry it's long. Hope someone can help advise what I should do xx

OP posts:
HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 12/05/2024 18:11

OP you need to stay strong here and get what you are entitled to, ignore the guilt tripping by family members - if your dad had wanted your auntie and uncle to have everything he should have made a will.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/05/2024 18:31

As per what others have said, having had personal dealings with this too and through work. Tell your aunt to back off.

You will be dealing with the funeral arrangements and clearing/cleaning of the house as you are his next of kin as he died intestate.

If you require any help clearing/cleaning the house you’ll let them know but you will. be there with them at all times.

Can’t believe how many vultures circle after a death.

Original poster
WingingItSince1973 · 12/05/2024 19:46

Thanks for all your replies. I've been the citizens advice and have read everything from the government website. Yes the lady at the bank really did say that. I questioned her but she repeated the only way they can talk to me before the death certificate is if my aunty gives permission. I have the BRV code now to fill out for the death certificate. As ive said earlier my aunty has already been in dad's house. She was there the day after he died and all last week. I haven't been able to do anything about that. I keep asking for the key. I was told they would bring it to me this weekend. Then I was told that someone needed to goto the house to get her late mother's belongings. My aunty said the house was a state and she wants it clean to hand over to council. The council know I'm dealing with his estate. Obviously they don't care about that as long as the house is returned in good condition. I know my family will be trying all avenues to get rid of me. This could be easy if all I had to do was register his death and apply to the bank. It should be straightforward. He wasn't a rich man. No properties but he was a saver. Ugh it's flipping pain in the backside but it's principle now and to be honest any money would really benefit my children x

OP posts:
Growlybear83 · 12/05/2024 19:48

Your aunty clearly had no intention of giving you the key until shes cleared out everything of value - why didn't you get the locks changed a couple of days ago?

Original poster
WingingItSince1973 · 12/05/2024 19:54

Because it's not that easy. It's great to say what to do and yes I'd probably say to someone the same thing. Going over to my dad's house and demanding the key from a very volatile family is not easy. It would be absolutely awful more than this is now. My dad died 8:20pm last Sunday. As we left the hospital I said to my aunt I am happy to come to help the house. I had no idea dad hadn't left a will and to be honest at that point in time my mind was more just being with my dad and watch him gasping for breath for 8 hours until he finally died. Everyone was distraught. It wasn't until Monday (bank holiday) that my aunty started asking questions about my parentage. I then asked did dad make a will. Tuesday I had a call from her to say dad was with the coroner and an inquest is likely. This is when I stood my ground and said I'm going to apply for administrative powers. This didn't go well and the abuse and emotional blackmail started. I have asked for the key every day. I couldn't physically get to my dad's house. I've been poorly and need to pace myself. Maybe a feeble excuse. But by the week went on and they became more nasty I'm quite scared to turn up at the house and to be honest whatever was there would have been gone Monday. I had a massive flare up with my illness Thursday so had to pull back but did contact CAB and anyone I could by phone. It's just not possible for me to demand the key. If I say they are most likely to be really nasty I'm just scratching the surface.

OP posts:
AgreeableDragon · 12/05/2024 22:03

Marghogeth · 12/05/2024 16:37

OP, my friend did none of that. The solicitor did everything. Calm yourself 🙂

If you read all the thread you’ll see that the OP can’t afford a solicitor. She got some advice from Citizens Advice, and is doing he majority on her own.

Original poster
WingingItSince1973 · 12/05/2024 22:16

@AgreeableDragon Thank you. I'm ashamed to say that's the truth. So I'm doing what I can myself x

OP posts:
AgreeableDragon · 12/05/2024 22:30

WingingItSince1973 · 12/05/2024 22:16

@AgreeableDragon Thank you. I'm ashamed to say that's the truth. So I'm doing what I can myself x

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about! I'm seriously impressed with the way you've risen to this challenge and faced your fears in this situation.
You are doing amazingly well, you can be very proud of yourself!

Witchgreen6 · 12/05/2024 22:31

Oh @WingingItSince1973 not having enough money for a solicitor is not something to be ashamed of !
You're not alone.
And I think you're doing really well on a shitty situation .
Your aunt is the person who should be ashamed.

Zeborah · 12/05/2024 22:32

OP I was able to access both my mum & my aunts bank accounts with the death certificates (no wills) Banks normally have a £50,000 limit, if it’s less than that it is transferred to you almost immediately

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 12/05/2024 22:38

OP could you ring the council, explain the situation and ask for another key?
Unfortunately, you may have to accept that your family are not going to be pleasant about this, but the law is on your side - if your father wanted to he could have ensured they were named in a will, but he didn't.

They don't have to like it but they do have to accept it.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 13/05/2024 02:12

I agree with pp l was adopted so had no legal right to my dad's estate when he died.

Your aunt waited 1 day before bringing this up so l think you know where her priories lie. I suspect he had more money than you think.

BeeCucumber · 13/05/2024 12:30

As PP have stated , I believe that your Aunt has drained his bank account and is desperate to hid it.

Original poster
WingingItSince1973 · 13/05/2024 14:01

If she's drained his account she will be in a lot of trouble. As it is she's messaged to say the coroner and the bank wouldn't speak to her today as they will now only speak to me. So that's progress. Wonder why she wanted to speak to them though. I've spoken to housing. He was nice and helpful. Have 4 weeks to hand the keys back. I've asked them again for the keys. See what they say today.

OP posts:
quizzys · 13/05/2024 17:35

Are you sure of your rights as the bio child who was adopted by adoptive parents?

You might not have any automatic claim on intestacy to your bio father's estate and may have to put a claim in for it.

Just musing here and wish you the best in your journey.

quizzys · 13/05/2024 17:42

My apologies, I re read your posts, and I see that you were NOT legally adopted by your step father.

In that case you are most definitely entitled to the entire estate as your father's only child. Again I wish you the best and hope things work out without too much trouble for you.

ApolloandDaphne · 13/05/2024 18:24

This all sounds very difficult. I hope you get some resolution soon.

Marghogeth · 13/05/2024 18:24

AgreeableDragon · 12/05/2024 22:03

If you read all the thread you’ll see that the OP can’t afford a solicitor. She got some advice from Citizens Advice, and is doing he majority on her own.

Show quote history

I have read the whole thread. In the case I was sharing, once the situation was explained, the solicitor didn't ask for a penny from my friend - it was such a clear-cut case under the rules of intestacy they were happy to take their fees from the estate once it had been processed. It was a more complicated case than the OP's too - involving property, life insurance and a pension.

Original poster
WingingItSince1973 · 13/05/2024 18:34

Aw thank you. I'm feeling really poorly today. I've been in bed all afternoon on high pain relief. Just barely functioning but I'll be ok. Have said I want the key. They say they still clearing stuff out! I've said I want to key asap as I have 3 weeks to finish clearing or arrange clearers. I've asked what things will be left behind for me to clear. Once again a brick wall. I'll be demanding the keys back. Thank you. This really should be a lot easier than this x

OP posts:
Anameisaname · 13/05/2024 18:51

Well done OP. Hang in there. You are doing a great job navigating this despite all the hurdles !

Original poster
WingingItSince1973 · 13/05/2024 18:52

Anameisaname · 13/05/2024 18:51

Well done OP. Hang in there. You are doing a great job navigating this despite all the hurdles !

That's so kind of you thank you xxxx

OP posts:
AGovernmentOfLawsNotOfMen · 13/05/2024 19:00

Anameisaname · 13/05/2024 18:51

Well done OP. Hang in there. You are doing a great job navigating this despite all the hurdles !

I second that!
Ive dealt with this sort of thing before but had family backup.

So glad Mumsnetters are here supporting you and I think you’re being amazingly brave and fare.!

GimmeGin · 13/05/2024 19:52

@WingingItSince1973 Glad to hear the bank and council are now aware you exist.

Your aunt has had a full week to take anything of value from your dads. If you’re not that fussed about his non-valuables, would it not be easier (for you) to just let them get on with it?

I had to clear my mums house recently, who I loved, and wanted to give her possessions the respect she deserved. If you don’t feel this way about your dad’s stuff (understandably), it’s maybe not worth your time and energy. It’s a thankless task.

Whatever you think is best of course. 🌺🌺🌺

HappyKatieA · 13/05/2024 21:55

This is awful, I really feel for you. I had the opposite when my Dad died. No one wanted to help, in the middle of covid, I had to sort everything out- we'd not spoken for some time. But at least I was able to do the right thing, and not have interference from others. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

Are you aware that you can let lots of people know about his death by completing this form?

www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

It will let the pensions, benefits people know etc, I found it useful.

I really hope you get lots of support to fight your aunt, she's thinking with her heart and not her head, and shows no awareness of actual laws.

tridento · 14/05/2024 17:19

Zeborah · 12/05/2024 22:32

OP I was able to access both my mum & my aunts bank accounts with the death certificates (no wills) Banks normally have a £50,000 limit, if it’s less than that it is transferred to you almost immediately

Surely not. The bank would have to know who they were transferring to was the correct and only person