17 week pregnant - child in need meeting.

[bhammumx]

When I was around 6weeks pregnant me and my boyfriend had a verbal argument where I rang the police as he refused to leave my property.

I have then spoke to the social and they have spoken with my boyfriend. We didn’t hear anything for a while.

i am now 17 weeks pregnant and just received a phone call saying there will be a child in need meeting held next week with me , the social worker and midwifery.

has anyone been in this position before? What does this mean?
im scared and confused now as i dont want to loose my baby, we haven’t had any domestics before or since this one incident. No criminal record etc

Speak to Samantha Gadsden on Facebook. She is a doula and women's activist. She can advise you

Are you still with him? Do you live together?

legally they cannot call a meeting about a child who is yet to be. However i would go to the meeting and take a friend with you.

Yes we are still together, but dont live together

okay, they’re coming to my home. They have asked if dad can be there too

Do you think the drama he brings is what your child deserves op? I don't mean to be harsh and I don't know you so I might be wide of the mark, but in no universe would I have felt the need to call the police on my DC's dad. Leave him before the baby is born, spare them the front row seat to the drama. All the best op x

Hi,
if it was a continuous thing then I would leave as baby doesn’t deserve none of this of course.
But this was literally the only incident which has ever happened.
It was early morning hence why he wouldn’t leave but he did before police arrived. Ino it’s still not great but just wouldn’t think it would mean the child is put on child in need

OP, kindly, give your head a wobble

He's shown you who he is. Believe him.

Social Services don't get involved for shits & giggles. They're taking this seriously - you should too. Step up and protect your baby.

You had to call the police.

They are assuming you did that because you were scared of what he would do if the police didn’t come.

so leave him. Show you’re putting your unborn child first.

I have then spoke to the social and they have spoken with my boyfriend.

Why did you speak to the social? Do you have other children?

Or did you tell the police you're pregnant and they arranged it?

Yes they can and they do.
OP there must be more to this. You wouldn’t end up sat round a table discussing child protection over a verbal argument.

@bhammumx have you received a copy of the assessment? This should tell you what their worries are and the rationale for the CIN plan.

Yes they can. And frequently do. That's how some children end up being removed at birth. Those decisions aren't just made at the point the woman goes into labour. It's about making safety plans during pregnancy working in the best interests of the child.

no I told them I wasn’t scared of him I just wanted him to be removed from my property that was the reason for the call and I made that clear from the start

@bhammumx

I do not know what actually happened, maybe you are minimising things. Do you have parents who support you if so ask one or both of them to be with you.

Other children?

That has a bearing on this.

Child in need is lower key, it is preventative about stopping things going wrong in the first place.

No I haven’t received anything. Should I text the social worker and ask her to email me a copy?

Hi, yes I have parents for support if need be.
I am not minimising things, this is why I’m so confused as all of this is because we had a verbal argument at around 3am and I rang the police so he could be removed from my property, not because I was scared

none Of us have any other children

Child in need plans are consent based ( I am a social worker) so unless you have consented to this I don't see how a child in need meeting could be held? They also wouldn't be able complete an assessment without you engaging in it.

Shown me who he is because we had a disagreement?

yes The police told social

@alcoholicsanonymous I also struggle to understand how one can assess a child’s need if they do not yet exist.

A mother to be in need perhaps.

It's called a pre birth assessment that they would be carrying out.

@alcoholicsanonymous So not a child in need then at all.

Hi,

tbh the social worker isn’t great she isn’t explaining things to me properly just telling what is going to be happening. I’m guessing the assessment was when she came to see me and had a phone call with my partner? When she rang earlier she said there needs to be a CIN meeting next week with her me and midwifery , I asked why and she said things needs to be discussed further

I'm thinking he's known to the police and hasn't disclosed something to you (apart from already showing you he's a dick) to get a child in need meeting so soon and during pregnancy is rare. There is more going on then you are aware of.