17 week pregnant - child in need meeting.

[bhammumx]

When I was around 6weeks pregnant me and my boyfriend had a verbal argument where I rang the police as he refused to leave my property.

I have then spoke to the social and they have spoken with my boyfriend. We didn’t hear anything for a while.

i am now 17 weeks pregnant and just received a phone call saying there will be a child in need meeting held next week with me , the social worker and midwifery.

has anyone been in this position before? What does this mean?
im scared and confused now as i dont want to loose my baby, we haven’t had any domestics before or since this one incident. No criminal record etc

There isn’t anything else , well at least not to my knowledge hence why I am so confused

There's also something called a child and family assessment (CAFA) that has to take place before a child in need plan could be implemented. The outcome of this assessment determines if a child in need plan is required.

Unless I’m being stupid here, I don’t understand why you rang the police if you weren’t scared? If you’d just had a bit of an argument surely you’d just both go to another room to cool off?

Calling the police is the nuclear option. You don’t call 999 because you’re a bit pissed off. So i suspect you’re minimising this hugely.

listen to what they’re asking you to do and follow it. Don’t minimise this - having to call the police in an argument is not a minor thing.

If you weren't scared of him, why didn't you remove him from your property?

I'm thinking exactly the same.

That they know something the OP doesn't.

Because he wouldn’t leave when asked. How else would I do it? I’m not going to put my hands on him

Are you being deliberately obtuse or are you really not aware that this is something that happens.
SS are concerned that this unborn child is at potentially at risk of harm from the moment it is born. And actually potentially at risk whilst in utero. The plans would be put in place to protect this baby from the get go.
They may be wrong, it’s may come to nothing but it does happen. It’s how a baby can be removed at birth.

What’s your advice on what to do? Is there anything I can ask the social worker for before the meeting? Copies of anything so I have a better understanding?

Yes I am starting to also think this as I am not minimising anything here. If there is something I don’t know how come they haven’t disclosed this?

@Sprinkles211 You may well be correct

I would first find out what the meeting is actually for, I doubt it's a child in need meeting for the reasons I have previously explained. I would also try and find out which team the social worker is from as in my county there is an assessment team that people pass through first before being moved onto the district team on a plan. Are you sure you haven't consented to an assessment at any point?

no and I’ve only ever spoken to this social worker from the start. She rang me first when it initially happened then came down to see me a few days later.
she definitely said it was a Child in Need meeting which is being held

Well child in need plans are consent based and can't go ahead without parental consent.

In other words they are voluntary not compulsory, I'm not trying to tell you that you shouldn't consent to it but this is the basis in which they are worked.

I think you need to be asking more questions.

okay thank you, I think I am going to let the meeting go a head as I want to know what’s going on.
can I ask for a copy of the assessment that they much have done before hand. ?

Yes you should be provided with the copy of the assessment, whatever assessment it is that they have done.

@bhammumx you should definitely ask for a copy of the assessment. As a pp has said, child in need is voluntary and they need your consent to contact other agencies before completing it. Sounds very strange (not doubting you at all, they're obviously very busy and haven't communicated well).

Thank you I have just asked for a copy

Ignore

Of course they can call a meeting about an unborn child. There are such things as pre birth assessments etc.
ex CP/CIN/CLA social worker here.

@Smartiepants79 i don’t think your post is particularly helpful to a worried pregnant woman.

Used to be safeguarding lead as CEO of my agency, BTW.

As a matter of law no agency can protect an in utero baby. As it is not recognised in law.

We do not have enough information to know what is going on with OP but on face value it is an over reaction on the part of SS.

And importantly SS cannot remove a child at birth without a ruddy court order where they have evidence of significant risk of harm.

I think you are running away with yourself based on what OP says.

And SS have no legal footing so she could just tell them to go away, although i would not advise that.

^^

These days, the thresholds are quite high and it's less likely to be allocated a social worker for cases that aren't considered a significant risk/in need of co ordinated services as a lot of cases are just pushed to early help.

Whilst your child is inborn, they will assess the current and future risk. Your child can be affected in the womb through stress hormones and trauma for you, plus potential physical risk if he does get violent. Plus, pregnancy is a very vulnerable time.

@WouldYouLikeMeToSpellThatForYou

Well they can but it has no legal standing if and until the baby is born.

Op lovely you need to grow up and fast. A completely one off disagreement leading to police involvement? Either you are minimising the incident now, or you massively misread the situation at the time and overreacted. Either way, now is the time to realise that your child is the most important person here, and if you want to avoid a lot of heartache for you and them (who didn't ask to be born into this) you need to grab those big girl pants and pull em right up. Choose to live your life without this drama. Xx

It is not normal to call the police on your partner unless something is very wrong, this just doesn’t happen in normal relationships. You shouldn’t be with him if you had to do that. Social services are right to be involved, for the sake of your baby.