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Changing next of kin

30 replies

User19798 · 16/02/2024 16:52

I have had a life changing medical diagnosis and am processing the situation atm.
A major concern is that DH is irresponsible and Co dependent and unsuitable to make decisions about my care/finances.
I will not be separating from him in the near future.
I want DD18 and DS21 legally responsible for my care decisions and finances if I am not competent
Can I put this in law with out divorce or do I have to divorce?
Can I leave the house etc to the children and prevent DH remarrying and everything going to her/her children

DH has never contributed to family finances but we have been married 25 years and I own my own home with no mortgage.

Thanks for your time

OP posts:
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 16/02/2024 21:21

Gently, you need to be more flexible and realistic about what you want. You can provide for your children, but you cannot control the minutiae of what happens after you are gone.

Your DH has a claim to the marital home and assets, whether you divorce him or not. You cannot leave the house entirely to your DC, though - as PPs have said - you may be able to leave them your share of it. You will not be able to prevent your DH from using his share of the house as he sees fit, which includes leaving it to future children, if he chooses. His share is his house, not yours - it isn't within your power to leave him a lifetime interest - it is his property, not yours.

You very naturally want to imagine your DC staying in the family home, but be realistic about this. Will your DC want to share it with their father as they get older, especially if he remarries? You mention having an investment property. Leaving this to your DC, so they can sell it to buy their own place, may be a better option (though your DH is likely to have a claim to it too, as a marital asset). If you have a pension with a surviving spouse benefit, and you divorce your DH, he will not benefit from it. You may not care about this now, but do you want him to be potentially financially dependent on your DC? And, if they do share the house, don't you want him to have the funds to maintain it? It might be better for all concerned if he receives the pension.

Instead of having very fixed ideas about what you want, talk to a solicitor and financial advisor about how you can maximise the assets you leave your DC.

HafNedd123 · 16/02/2024 21:24

Next of kin has no legal
Power or standing.

Sounds like you need a LPA. Lasting Power of Attourney for both health and welfare / finace and property. They will only kick in when you have lost capacity and unable to make the specific decisions yourself.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 16/02/2024 21:27

HafNedd123 · 16/02/2024 21:24

Next of kin has no legal
Power or standing.

Sounds like you need a LPA. Lasting Power of Attourney for both health and welfare / finace and property. They will only kick in when you have lost capacity and unable to make the specific decisions yourself.

A health and welfare LPA only kicks in when you lose capacity. A financial LPA can be used while you still have capacity, with your permission.

prh47bridge · 17/02/2024 00:06

Soontobe60 · 16/02/2024 20:57

In your first post you say you bought the house yourself. Now you bought it as a married couple? Do you mean you bought it together but you pay the mortgage?
It does sound like it was bought as Joint tenants, in which case it will be passed to the surviving spouse in full. This cannot be changed without his agreement.

The last sentence of this post is wrong. OP does not need her husband's consent to sever the joint tenancy.

Soontobe60 · 17/02/2024 08:15

prh47bridge · 17/02/2024 00:06

The last sentence of this post is wrong. OP does not need her husband's consent to sever the joint tenancy.

Every day’s a school day 😂
It does seem wrong though, why would only 1 person on a joint tenancy be able to change what could be very significant? If my DH changed our tenancy to TIC then changed his will and left his share to the cats home, I could be out on my ear!!!

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