Cafcass appointed solicitor - how to change? Urgent advice needed

[Zerozerox]

Have NC‘d for this. Can’t give lots of details as outing.

Currently in the family courts. Ex has made an application to enforce contact. One of my children refuses to live at his and is afraid of him due to a few incidents (emotional abuse). No contact at the moment apart from sporadic text messages.

The solicitor representing this child is truly awful, didn’t delve into what happened, suggested my child is lying about the incidents and subsequent self harm, told me my older child who had the same happen to them with Dad is „a lost cause“ when I asked if they would consider taking both kids to contact with Dad in due time.

How do I go about getting the solicitor that Cafcass appointed, changed? For the sake of my daughter (12) who feels pushed into contact (1 letter from Dad then 1 letter back, then meeting in person) and not believed.

I met the solicitor and reserved my opinion until I had spoken to her and she is truly hard nosed and cold with a black and white view. I spoke to an experienced Cafcass worker who I know and she is aware of her and said she was not empathetic and couldn’t get on with the children in question on her case, belligerent and disliked by judges as not interested in mediation and meeting in the middle but rather having her way. They said that the child can speak to her guardian (Cafcass officer) to ask for the solicitor to be changed. How likely is this to be successful and what is the procedure?

Please, can anyone advise on this matter?

Im glad she has written to the judge, that has a huge impact

Thank you @Worryaboutwork
i am stressing over how to get the ball rolling. She’s been deemed eloquent and logical by the judge. Her advocates are failing her IMHO. I want what’s best for her. I would rather not be in court over this. 😔

Update but can’t write much as school run is looming.

child has written to Dad not ready to see him but email contact to continue and eventually meet when dust has settled (in a nutshell).

cafcass want to see child again but child is reticent due to feeling they’ve been called a liar. Solicitor now made urgent application to court saying I‘m preventing access to child which isn’t true. Carcass asked for psychological evaluation of Mum, Dad and child. This is stressing them out and they’ve been in tears. I don’t know what to do.

i also feel solicitor is lying to court. I have no prevented access. (They want to see her at school). Carcass unwilling to change solicitor. This is breaking my child. What can I do? I suggested mediation and counselling but to no avail.

In my LA there has been repeated concerns raised about Guardians seeing children in school, there was some hesitant agreement from some that they wouldnt/shouldnt do this but I think its still happening. I work in public law so not quite the same, but the same premise about children being seen by their Guardians

Your child has a right to decide what adults she talks to or doesnt talk to, if the Guardian arrives at school the child doesnt have to go and see her or speak to her. She could ask for a teacher to be present as well

@Zerozerox What is your solicitor advising? Why are you concerned about psychological reports? Who is stressing about these? You or DD?

I don’t think seeing dd at school is acceptable. Pulling her out of class? Just no. Talk to school. I’m not sure dd can be forced to do this but it seems they think you are being coercive and your child only sees one view. Yours. It’s often said: dads withhold money and mums withhold Dc. So do not keep involving DD in this quite so directly. I cannot see the letter to dad as a good thing. They will see it as you “brainwashing” against dad. As your child wrote to dad saying she won’t see him, what is his solicitor supposed to think? Inevitably that you are preventing access. You probably have to accept some access.

Also could it be dad just corrected Dd instead of the allegations made? You need to concentrate on your legal representation because eventually there will be a compromise.

Thank you @bellac11

basically: my child is starting to fall apart under more interviews, more interventions early help social services suggestion, psychological evaluations.

the solicitor has said that my child isn’t deemed competent by her to instruct her own solicitor. I questioned on what basis this assessment was made as well as the fact it was made by the very solicitor who they aren’t getting on with.

my child feels that the solicitor and Cafcass officer cherry-picked her responses and twisted her words. She felt apprehensive about having a teacher sat in on the initial meeting and I feel she’s been left alone with two adults who may or may not be telling the truth. I wouldn’t leave my child alone with a GP - in hindsight I should have insisted on a neutral adult being present. My child is now saying that the initial report doesn’t reflect what she said in its entirety. I have no way of proving this but I do not doubt my child.

we haven’t heard back from court and now this application is floating around for a psychological evaluation. I am terrified that they will place my child in care until this is sorted as she refuses to return to Dad. The proceedings are breaking her.

we are a normal middle class family, no safeguarding or mental health issues, no drugs, both of us (stepdad and I) work full time, we own our own house. Normal blended family with no issues.

child lost a grandparent who they were very close to and I have made a referral for bereavement counselling.

it bothers me that the solicitor is lying saying I am restricting access when I simply don’t. Can I complain to the legal practice? She is a partner and head of family law there.

@TizerorFizz Emails were ordered by court. One email by Dad and then one email back and then a meeting. Timeline of all of this was/is 3 weeks. Child felt this was too quick. What happened with Dad has led child to try and self harm. Emotional abuse is being corroborated by older sibling) (middle one) who still adheres to shared care.

Not a correction, these were repeated chats were Dad berated child and made her feel like sh*t, deliberately putting her down.

I do not mind contact, it’s her Dad and wider family that she should be a part of, children have the right to know both their parents and have a relationship with them. But parents have a duty of care to behave respectfully to their children.

Just for the record, I am personally not worried about a psychological evaluation- I have no mental health issues nor anything that would flag up - I am quite a boring person I think. But my child feels under the microscope and I worried about saying something that’s „wrong“. I have spoken to them about it and tried to explain that there are no wrong answers.

i can’t help but involve my child as these proceedings are about them and she has the right to know what is happening. Cafcass sent an initial letter and asked me to go through it with my child and be open about the process in an age appropriate way, which I have. I wouldn’t have changed the shared care arrangement if it was my choice but my child effectively leaving Dad’s and refusing to go back had left me no choice but to make an application for change of residency due to emotional harm. Was I wrong?

Have you spoken to a family solicitor yet? You not your dd, you need some proper legal advice and they will be the best to speak to about this.

@Zerozerox You seem to be putting all of this on your child. She was supposed to meet dad. She didn’t. You need to work with her to move past the past. You need to facilitate a meeting. If you don’t, it’s possibly being obstructive. Not seeing dad doesn’t seem to be on the court or dads agenda. You have to get represented in court and state your position but simply saying what your Dc say probably won’t be seen as responsible parenting. You have to find a middle way and not always go with dd 100%. She also needs guidance and support to see dad.,

@TizerorFizz I hear you, I would like them to meet to rebuild the relationship. I can’t see why my suggestion of counselling and mediation wasn’t facilitated. She written to him that she’s hurt and he’s not responded.

I am thinking I am supporting my child by letting her take the lead regarding the timeframe of contact. I didn’t realise I am doing anything wrong by not enforcing contact. I have spoken to my child about seeing Dad but she keeps crying. I don’t know what to do.

@ZeroFuchsGiven I have taken legal advice and they’ve advised that I need to prove the emotional abuse. I can’t do this as this happened in Dad’s home but mirrors the pattern of behaviour with eldest child.