Future Inheritance Will Be a Nightmare

[WishItWereSummer]

I’ve NC for this, and apologies in advance for the very long thread. I don’t want to drip feed so will include as much relevant information as possible, but I would like to be prepared for this event when it happens.

I have 2 DC who are young adults. I split from their father when they were 1 after years of physical and mental abuse (towards me not them), he was convicted on one occasion when I finally had the courage to go to court, and I had numerous non molestation orders with power of arrest attached.

Their paternal grandfather did the same to their paternal grandmother (which their father witnessed) and as a result he was brought up by his mum and had sporadic contact with dad over the years. His mum is an amazing woman, had a good job and worked hard to provide them both a safe and stable home – she’s a gentle soul. He however, has never left home (he’s 46), never had a proper job (part time doorman), has a drink/drug/and prescription drug problem, and has violent outbursts. Over the years he has caused untold damage to his mums house, completely disrespected her boundaries, never paid rent (despite being asked) and is generally very very unpredictable & abusive.

My DC have always had a great relationship with their DGM, and have seen/witnessed the majority of his behaviour. DGM has recently updated her will and told DC her wishes:

Her house (worth approx. 400k) – split between my DC only

Cash/assets – 30% to each DC and 40% to her son (their father)

It seems she has also stated that although the house belongs to DC, he can live there for as long he likes (lifetime interest). She has done this for a multitude of reasons as she doesn’t trust him and is scared of him. She also knows that he will blow any money he is left, on drugs (he was left 500k inheritance 15 years ago and spent it all on drugs/partying)

Now to my concerns:

I’m petrified of his reaction when he discovers he hasn’t been left the house. I can’t emphasise enough how little respect he has for anyone and anything – including his children and mother. I can say with 99% certainty he will erupt.
He has lived with his mother his entire life, completely dependant on her to house him. He has never paid a bill, genuinely, and as such I’m concerned he could challenge the will on this basis?
I’m also worried that he will do considerable damage to the property out of spite/temper and my DC would have no recourse to remove him from the property and/or get him to pay for the damage.
I guess I’d like to know how I can help the DC when this time comes, how can they be prepared for the absolute shit storm that’s going to come their way when DGM passes away?

Thanks wise ones.

Not much of a market for a house with a bloke living in it for potentially forty odd more years

Sadly not a typo. His father passed away unexpectedly many years ago, and as such he received this inheritance. It has of course all disappeared with nothing to show for it.

It's ok, you weren't to know. DC don't even know, and I intend to keep it that way - they have enough to deal with with his behaviour and I'm not going to add to that.

That makes sense, thank you. I'll try and get the to find out which it is. Either way it's going to be one big massive headache

Just wondering if DGM is the sole property owner, if she dies prior to her husband how will the situation work out?

It’s only a massive headache if they start to think of it as theirs already. Otherwise it really isn’t that onerous.

She's the sole owner. She didn't remarry after divorcing DGF 30 years ago and has remained single ever since.

I get that. I think the headache will come when/if he challenges the will, tries to emotionally blackmail DC due to contents of said will, and punishes them in every way he can because he didn't get what he wanted.

In some ways would it be simpler if the cash went completely to be split by the DC and he 'just' gets the house?

I wouldn’t leave this until you get to probate. Seek legal advice, having been scrupulously honest about your concerns.

It’s a fairly common situation. It’s used a lot with second marriages etc

We will definitely have to speak with a solicitor. I'd just rather get this sorted before poor DGM passes away for DC's sake. I get that she's trying to do a nice thing, I just don't think she's properly thought through all the consequences.

They need to, if they can, make sure that their grandmother makes him responsible for maintenance and upkeep.

I knew someone in a similar situation once. They had to spend around 50k on repairs once their uncle died. However, the wording meant they didn’t have to do any repairs whilst he was alive

He has to pay his own utility bills.

With the greatest of respect, all the GM is trying to do is make sure her son doesn’t sell the house and spend the cash. It isn’t a high value property but she wants him to have a home for the whole of his life. This is the best way to retain some control over that.

The fact that she can also then say it goes to your dc after that is just an added benefit. But that is unlikely to be for decades

if she wanted your dc to inherit outright she could have done that. She wants him to have a home because however much of a shit he is, he’s her child.

it isnt really for you to take advice on (other than to understand the ins and outs of how it works.

Just make sure she has itclear in the will that he needs to pay for upkeep and bills and insurance. The dc should also insure it. Tell then to keep dgm money aside for this.

Seems to me this is better than her leaving him the house. Don't see why they'd have to mend all the things he breaks. They aren't land Lords.

The dgm isn't dead yet so I think you are overreacting to a generous gift, perhaps marked by your experience of abuse. I'm sorry but you are overthinking.

That's precisely what we need to take advice on though - who pays for the damage, what recourse they have if he structurally damages it etc.

They also want to know what would happen if he challenged the will - does he have grounds for this?

Reassuring comment. The situation I faced was more like the OP’s - abusive and feckless family member.

My impression isn't that his DM wants to make sure he keeps a roof over his head, more that she is scared of what he will do if she decided to kick him out

In very basic terms in all likelihood it will be a life interest trust. The property goes into trust and he becomes a “life tenant”. The trust has to deal with tax etc. When he dies the property comes out of trust and reverts to the named beneficiaries (your dc). So they won’t need to do anything at all until he dies. It will be in trust and won’t be theirs as such.

100% this. She admits she's scared of him, she knows she's enabled his behaviour to some extent and wishes she had stood up to him many years ago. Sadly doesn't her now though.

Thank you for your helpful replies on this. It's a subject I know next to nothing about.

That's awful, DGM is basically passing the bill for housing him onto her DGC!

https://ukcareguide.co.uk/interest-possession-trust/

this is very basic but might help you get your head around it a bit

No she isn’t!

the property will be available for the son for life.

once the son is dead it reverts to the OPs DC