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Original poster

DNA Test…. What are my rights…

111 replies

Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 20:36

So my ex partner kicked me out whilst I was four months pregnant. We were together 18 months had a gender reveal 4 days prior. His behaviour was abnormal and volatile. Never heard off him again. I blocked him and made it clear I want zero to do with him after he dumped all my stuff off without me even being allowed to pack my own stuff and like I said pregnant and sick at the time!
My son is now 15 weeks old. After much deliberation I applied for child maintenance. He’s obviously not on the birth certificate and we weren’t married. He instantly called them requesting a DNA test and as predicted went self employed in Feb and apparently hasn’t earnt a penny since. Even the guy at CSA said “this one’s a charmer!”
I told him to keep his dirty money and shove it as I’m not having my son swabbed and I do not want him to then have a DNA test to then possibly take me to court to go on the birth certificate as I don’t want him near my son and he has shown zero care or acted with any humanity. He kicked his son out as far as I’m concerned not just me. He is vile. So I will close the case with CSA as it’s just not worth the bother now he is self employed also. I don’t have the energy.
What I am now worrying is can he take me to court at a later date and can they force me to take a dna test? I’m hoping he won’t as he only cares about paying it seems. I do not want this man having any rights over my son and will do anything to avoid this. I also don’t have a spare 20k to battle him in court. Any advice much appreciated!!!

OP posts:
Sarvanga38 · 17/04/2023 20:38

I mean, he’s obviously a git, but you were going to have to do a DNA test for the claim to progress, that surely wasn’t a surprise? Can’t understand why you wouldn’t just do that for your child really.

Original poster
Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 20:40

As I don’t want him being on the birth certificate as I said. You can claim maintenance without the father being on it. I want him having zero parental rights understandably hence I won’t continue with the claim. That’s not my question.

OP posts:
Famzonhol · 17/04/2023 20:41

Agree that your child needs to know at some point but I guess you could let things lie for now.

crackofdoom · 17/04/2023 20:42

Getting a positive DNA test doesn't automatically mean he's on the birth certificate though. If you're not married, the two of you have to register your child's birth together, or he can apply to go on retrospectively.

Starlightstarbright1 · 17/04/2023 20:43

I get it . Often when people
say claim maintenance they forget how manipulative some men can be.

I would not share your anxieties . Ultimately he can at any point contact and ask for contact - I would just simply say if you don’t know you are his Dad don’t bother.

PinkFootstool · 17/04/2023 20:45

If you do the DNA test, he can be chased by CSA.

If you don't do the DNA test, he can't be chased by CSA.

If you do the DNA test, he has legal rights around your child including things like access to him, and parental responsibility.

If you don't do the DNA test, he has no legal rights other than making demands around the need for a future DNA test.

Up to you. However, not liking the idea of the swab is the least area of concern - it's painless and just rubs on the inside of the cheek like you've wiped a cotton bud on it. Nothing painful or sinister about it.

Starlightstarbright1 · 17/04/2023 20:45

Famzonhol · 17/04/2023 20:41

Agree that your child needs to know at some point but I guess you could let things lie for now.

She knows who the father is . Not sure where you thought she didn’t

bellac11 · 17/04/2023 20:47

Firstly, the DNA result wont result in him automatically going on the birth cert.

Secondly, he could apply for PR in any case and then the court may order for him to be added on the birth cert and given PR, there would be several steps to that however. If the DNA test wasnt already done, the court could order this anywa.

He doesnt sound like someone who wants to have PR

Lastly, my own view only,, I do believe that all children should have their parents named on their birth cert, where known. Any issues about PR/decision making etc can be dealt with in court if necessary, I dont think children should be prevented from having this information on their birth cert just because theres a fear that the father would do this or that. Those issues need to be managed in a different way.

PinkFootstool · 17/04/2023 20:48

But yes, the court can order you to comply with a DNA test. If it comes to that, don't bother paying for a solicitor. Let him spend megabucks on court and solicitors, you can self represent but chances are you don't need to actually attend court.

We've been through this recently on the opposite flip of the coin - DH is absolutely not the father to a child who is now 15. He's completely and utterly infertile for one thing.... He was being chased via CSA to pay this woman for a kid he'd never met and couldn't have fathered. The DNA test cleared him of all links.

The truth is important to your child, so you might want to consider it from the child's perspective in the future, but that's perhaps now something for right now.

RunningFromInsanity · 17/04/2023 20:48

Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 20:40

As I don’t want him being on the birth certificate as I said. You can claim maintenance without the father being on it. I want him having zero parental rights understandably hence I won’t continue with the claim. That’s not my question.

Why would someone pay money toward a child they have zero parental rights for?

There’s no way I would expect anyone to pay maintenance without being on the birth certificate.

You just have to decide whether the money is worth it- based on what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like it to me.

But yes he can at any point ask for a DNA test.

Original poster
Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 20:50

I know who the father is. I’m not concerned whether a swab is painful 😂 I’m saying I’m not having my baby subjected to that when he knows full well he is the father. My point is and my question is can a dna test be forced by a court later down the line so he can be added to the birth certificate = legal rights. I am not progressing with CSA because I am not doing a dna which could be potentially used in court to gain access!! I applied for CSA just hoping he would accept parentage. A dna test isn’t a compulsory part of the CSA purpose only if the dad is a dickhead and wants to delay payments and use it to gain control later. I have closed the CSA as I do not want to Risk him using said DNA test to apply to go on the birth certificate!!!

OP posts:
Can2022getanyworse · 17/04/2023 20:50

Ye gods.

If he wants to go on the birth certificate then he CAN request a dna test through court.

There are legal routes a father can take to be part of their child's life, which if persued via court will eventually become so.

It's about THE CHILD'S right to know who their father is. The parents only have responsibilities, not rights. Either of them.

SunshineGeorgie · 17/04/2023 20:53

Well he's got the initial application which now kind of proves you know he's the Dad

Maintenance and access will always be kept seperate though

Your kid has a right to know his father.... you both don't have rights unfortunately merely responsibilities

Original poster
Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 20:53

He’s abusive. I am protecting my son. I want him nowhere near him. If he can treat a pregnant woman that way as well as other things he has done then I want him nowhere near a baby. Again not what I’m asking an opinion of here.

OP posts:
Nightynightnight · 17/04/2023 20:53

Your child has a right to have a father named on their birth certificate. Yes the court can demand a DNA test to establish a parental link.

Can2022getanyworse · 17/04/2023 20:54

I do not want to Risk him using said DNA test to apply to go on the birth certificate!!!

If he is the father than the child has the right for him to be recognised on the birth certificate.

Is he a dangerous man? Would he be a risk to the child? It would be VERY unusual even for CONVICTED criminals who have committed crimes against even their own dc to have parental responsibility removed, it is relatively straightforward for a man to get on their child's BC through court. Expensive and convoluted, for both parties, but he IS their father.

Original poster
Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 20:56

Thank you I think you’re the only one on here who gets it 😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 20:56

@Starlightstarbright1 sorry forgot to tag! Above was aimed at you

OP posts:
midnightblue12 · 17/04/2023 20:59

Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 20:56

Thank you I think you’re the only one on here who gets it 😂😂

Hi IP. I totally get why you don't want the DNA test and why you don't want him on the birth certificate. Not everyone will but not everyone has delay with abusive and manipulative people.
If it was me I would walk away. He's already done this and that's not your fault, he made his choice and that is a reflection of him and only him.
The more you push the CSA the more he will try and manipulate the situation. Shit people like this will do anything to avoid paying!
I know it's hard. Wing a single mum (I am a single mum too) but the moment you set yourself free is the moment it gets easier!

Hospitalornot · 17/04/2023 20:59

Sounds like even if proven to be the father he’ll claim no income so it won’t be of any benefit financially. He sounds an arse so I wouldn’t bother, keep him out your life.

Original poster
Hedgehog93 · 17/04/2023 21:03

@midnightblue12 @Hospitalornot Thanks for getting me, thought I was smashing my head against a wall. I have closed the CSA case. I know full well I won’t get a penny and I don’t want to do a DNA test which could be used later on down the line. He’s abusive and he clearly doesn’t give a shit as he was quick to pick up the phone I them but has never once rang to ask about his son which is my point! I don’t think he wants access as he doesn’t want to pay. I was just worrying whether a dna could be ordered later down the line. I would refuse anyway so no idea what legal implications of that would be. He’s volatile and abusive. Also he has never once checked in or bothered so why would I want him to have access.

OP posts:
Freshlycutgrasss · 17/04/2023 21:04

I get it & and I think you're doing the right thing by closing the case down.

Ultimately, he can apply to court to be named on the birth certificate, and they would order a dna test to be done, but it would cost him time & money.

If it was me, I would let things lie, wouldnt be posting photos on social media etc of my son, ensure his family aren't still able to access any of it, lock it all down to private & hope he is bored soon and forgets about it all.

In situations like this, him not having PR will make your and therefore your sons life easier. You only have to read some of the threads on here about child custody to understand how irresponsible, abusive and awful men can get access to their children despite there being no benefit to the child other than knowing who their dad is.

bellac11 · 17/04/2023 21:07

You dont seem to be reading the answers OP and just getting irate.

Yes he can go to court and court would order a DNA test

Doesnt sound like he would be bothered to do that but yes it happens and courts do order it.

Can2022getanyworse · 17/04/2023 21:11

My point is and my question is can a dna test be forced by a court later down the line so he can be added to the birth certificate = legal rights.

Yes, it can.

Marchintospring · 17/04/2023 21:12

Can2022getanyworse · 17/04/2023 20:50

Ye gods.

If he wants to go on the birth certificate then he CAN request a dna test through court.

There are legal routes a father can take to be part of their child's life, which if persued via court will eventually become so.

It's about THE CHILD'S right to know who their father is. The parents only have responsibilities, not rights. Either of them.

Yeah but the child will know who is father is. Op will tell said child. There’s no doubt so no DNA required.

Deoends on the bloke. Is he a vindictive twat and did he want kids or not. Mine wasn’t the least bit interested. I went through DNA / maintenance when mine was about 7 and his dad paid but has never been in contact. So they are all different.