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Original poster

Daughter’s break-up and holiday nightmare

307 replies

LockdownBride · 06/06/2022 18:59

Hello,
My daughter was 18 in February, had been with her BF for 18 mths and they booked a holiday together for after their A-level exams in Greece.
DD paid for the trip upfront and he was going to pay her back, she had £4K child trust fund on her birthday. The holiday was £1200.
He ended it two weeks ago, right before her first exam and we are just beginning to see the light and get angry.
He has said today that if she cancels the holiday, he’ll pay half, if she’s goes with someone else, he’ll pay nothing.
I think this is unreasonable as she will have to find someone to go with, pay transfer fees for a name change all at short notice.
If she cancels, she wouldn’t get a refund.
the holiday is booked with LoveHoliday.com

Any ideas or suggestions on her rights, if any, would be great 😬

OP posts:
Meraas · 07/06/2022 11:13

What if he doesn't pay half once dd cancels the holiday?

LemonTT · 07/06/2022 11:22

There is of course emotion mixed up in this which is getting in the way of reasonableness and action. This is a case where cooperation and reasonable behaviour would give them a much better outcome.

She has the option to go on the holiday with someone else willing to pay half the cost. He has that option too. If that doesn’t work, they could try to find 2 people who do want the holiday and transfer the tickets to them. SM might be their friend with this task. Then they would both only have transfer fees to pay and they would both be better off.

There are lot of options that would mean neither of them face being £600 out of pocket and only incurring fees which they could share. They just have to be reasonable and cooperative. Trying to fuck each other over is always a bad option that can lead to more problems.

ChocolateHippo · 07/06/2022 11:25

I would get DD to tell him that she intends to cancel and get the £600pp out of him asap. Then she can decide if she (i) wants to cancel, or (ii) would prefer to see if she can find someone else to take his place, and pay him back the £600 minus any transfer fees etc.

DangerouslyBored · 07/06/2022 11:27

DelphiniumBlue · 06/06/2022 19:28

He should have paid her half already. If he had done what he promised, he would be asking her to find someone to take his place, not telling her that he's not paying if she does find someone .
I'd be suggesting that he pays her what he said he would, and then if she does find someone to go with her, she can pay him back.
He owes her his half whatever she does with it. He's the one cancelling. Why should she go short?

This is totally correct and all those saying the ex is reasonable are completely wrong!

I understand your anger, OP, MN is so contrary sometimes.

DangerouslyBored · 07/06/2022 11:29

pixie5121 · 07/06/2022 10:28

100%. This is how it would be seen in court.

He agreed to pay her £600. He owes her £600. It is absolutely none of his business if she uses the money to take someone else. He forfeited the right to dictate who goes on the holiday when he pulled out of it.

From a non-legal standpoint, it also shows what a petty, mean arsehole he is. He'd rather the £600 go down the drain and neither of them go than let her have a nice time with a friend on holiday after he's let her down and screwed her over. What an absolute cunt.

Show quote history

Ha agree to all of this !

Noisyprat · 07/06/2022 11:37

Have all the posters saying that he legally has to pay actually been to court e.g. small claims court? How on earth is she going to prove he agreed to this?

He can just say that she offered to pay as a Valentine/birthday/finishing 'A' level gift or that she just offered to pay! She says 'no' it was agreed we would pay our own.......

Now think, who does the judge believe? I have experience of small claims and believe me it would be very hard for her to win this case unless she has an agreement in writing. Even if she did win he could claim he doesn't have any money and pay her back at 3p a week or probably never!

She needs to think worse case scenario, if she cancels then she loses £1,200 and a holiday. At least if she goes she gets a holiday!

pixie5121 · 07/06/2022 11:39

Noisyprat · 07/06/2022 11:37

Have all the posters saying that he legally has to pay actually been to court e.g. small claims court? How on earth is she going to prove he agreed to this?

He can just say that she offered to pay as a Valentine/birthday/finishing 'A' level gift or that she just offered to pay! She says 'no' it was agreed we would pay our own.......

Now think, who does the judge believe? I have experience of small claims and believe me it would be very hard for her to win this case unless she has an agreement in writing. Even if she did win he could claim he doesn't have any money and pay her back at 3p a week or probably never!

She needs to think worse case scenario, if she cancels then she loses £1,200 and a holiday. At least if she goes she gets a holiday!

You don't think there are texts and correspondence between them referring to how much he owes?

Pinotgrigio87 · 07/06/2022 11:40

Noisyprat · 07/06/2022 11:37

Have all the posters saying that he legally has to pay actually been to court e.g. small claims court? How on earth is she going to prove he agreed to this?

He can just say that she offered to pay as a Valentine/birthday/finishing 'A' level gift or that she just offered to pay! She says 'no' it was agreed we would pay our own.......

Now think, who does the judge believe? I have experience of small claims and believe me it would be very hard for her to win this case unless she has an agreement in writing. Even if she did win he could claim he doesn't have any money and pay her back at 3p a week or probably never!

She needs to think worse case scenario, if she cancels then she loses £1,200 and a holiday. At least if she goes she gets a holiday!

Thats what judge rinder says isnt it?? Always have in writing!!

DonnyBurrito · 07/06/2022 11:42

Honestly, if I were you and this was my daughter... I'd be so fucked off with his actions that I'd be threatening him with a small claims court, probably involving his parents, and saying he owes the £600 regardless of what happens, as a court would see it the same way.

Shit the little twat right up. You'll be doing him a favour, teaching him actions have consequences. Most importantly, it'll make your daughter feel taken care of.

Wheresthebeach · 07/06/2022 11:45

DangerouslyBored · 07/06/2022 11:27

This is totally correct and all those saying the ex is reasonable are completely wrong!

I understand your anger, OP, MN is so contrary sometimes.

Show quote history

Yes exactly. They had an agreement, he's not paid what he owes. He needs to. Why the attitude is 'well aren't you stupid for trusting your boyfriend' baffles me. £600 is a lot for a holiday - DD may struggle to find someone who can spend that at the drop of a hat. He pays, and then hopefully she can 'sell on' the holiday to a mate. He ought to be happy if he gets some of it back, even if not all. She can sell it for £400 or whatever she can get - then instead of being out £600, he'll be out, for example £200. He's being an utter prat.

HoppingPavlova · 07/06/2022 11:57

He agreed to pay her £600. He owes her £600. It is absolutely none of his business if she uses the money to take someone else. He forfeited the right to dictate who goes on the holiday when he pulled out of it.

Agree, but you need to be VERY careful going down that path. If he pays the option of him going is then still valid and this may not work out for the best for OPs daughter to have someone there because they are now sticking it to her as they perceived they have been wronged and will be unpleasant and make her life hell while there.

I knew two cases like this. One the ex-boyfriend took a new girlfriend. They stayed in the new girlfriends room but the girl had to see both of them on the plane, around the resort, on pre-booked tours etc. Was extremely unpleasant. The other one the ex-girlfriend went on, stayed in the shared room and was a mean bitch the entire time and he spent most of his time in the bar getting blind drunk to cope.

Sometimes you can be legally right, but it’s really in your own interest to just write it off.

Viviennemary · 07/06/2022 11:59

If she finds somebody else to go with he needs to pay all the transfer and cancellation fees. But should get his refund minus these fees. If they both cancel then he needs to pay all the cancellation fees as he is the one who effectively is cancelling the holiday.

Wheredoestheblackfluffcomefrom · 07/06/2022 12:01

Will Love holidays allow a name change at this kate stage?

2023wish · 07/06/2022 12:03

what if she goes by herself? will he give her half? i don’t see why he should pay for her to take someone else mind

Sweepingeyelashes · 07/06/2022 12:07

Obviously if a friend did go an paid something you'd give that back if he gave you the full £600.

newname12345 · 07/06/2022 12:07

DonnyBurrito · 07/06/2022 11:42

Honestly, if I were you and this was my daughter... I'd be so fucked off with his actions that I'd be threatening him with a small claims court, probably involving his parents, and saying he owes the £600 regardless of what happens, as a court would see it the same way.

Shit the little twat right up. You'll be doing him a favour, teaching him actions have consequences. Most importantly, it'll make your daughter feel taken care of.

His response quite simply could be to pay the £600 and say he wants to go on the holiday. Then what?

Kmj2018 · 07/06/2022 12:09

I think he seems reasonable to be honest. He said he’d pay half of its cancelled but won’t pay if she finds someone else to go which sounds perfectly reasonable. If she finds a friend to go with her get the friend to pay half and the extra fees your daughter will just have to swallow the cost or ask friend or/and ex boyfriend to go half’s

AchatAVendre · 07/06/2022 12:12

What is it on here of late with all the posts automatically assuming the man is correct and berating the woman?

The ex boyfriend is the one that has cancelled and is breaking his promise. The daughter wouldn't have booked the holiday without his part of the bargain, so he should pay and then be refunded if she finds someone else to go or doesn't cancel.

Completely unfair on the girl to suggest that if she cancels she loses his half and he gets off Scot free.

There probably are text messages between them to prove he agreed to pay half so I suspect in the unlikely event that it did go through a Small Claim, that the judge would side with the girl. It is not required to be in writing, there is simply required to be proof of the agreement, and he is the one that has broken the agreement.

Kmj2018 · 07/06/2022 12:13

You could also ask him if he wants to go with one of his mates instead

Irishfarmer · 07/06/2022 12:17

I would not be cancelling before getting the money from him. She may cancel and he may not give her the money, meaning she is down the full £1200 and no holiday at all! Tell him you will cancel when you receive the £600. If in the mean time she finds a friend to go with her she can give him back his money.

It was truly shitty of him to break up with her just before her A Levels though. He could have waited

itsabouttimetoo · 07/06/2022 12:49

Your poor daughter. What a rubbish situation and a rubbish ex-boyfriend - don’t really understand the posters saying he is reasonable when he is essentially withholding money that he already owes her. She should ask him for the money and say she will cancel and but if she finds someone in the meantime she will give the money back. At this point even finding someone to foot £3/400 will be a win.

I don’t know your financial situation, but could you give her a couple of hundred toward the holiday as a present for finishing her A Levels and then it will be easier for her to find someone?

mrsm43s · 07/06/2022 13:00

It's unreasonable to expect him to pay for someone else to go on holiday.

If he pays for half the holiday, then that half is his to go on, or to sell onwards. It is not OP's daughters to sell or give away. The OPs daughter wants to have her cake and eat it - she wants him to pay for half the holiday, while she keeps ownership of the full holiday, and sells or gifts his half that he has paid for to someone of her choosing - that's not really on.

The fair options are:
The holiday is cancelled, he pays his half, she pays her half.
He pays his half, she pays her half and they go on holiday together.
He pays his half, and buys out her half (so he pays her £1200), and he finds someone to replace her (and recoups costs from the new holiday companion).
She pays her half and buys out his half (so she pays the total of £1200) and she finds someone to replace him (and recoups costs from the new holiday companion).

I think the only point of negotiation is the name change costs. Morally, he should probably pay for them, but I'm not sure if he is legally obliged.

pixie5121 · 07/06/2022 13:32

mrsm43s · 07/06/2022 13:00

It's unreasonable to expect him to pay for someone else to go on holiday.

If he pays for half the holiday, then that half is his to go on, or to sell onwards. It is not OP's daughters to sell or give away. The OPs daughter wants to have her cake and eat it - she wants him to pay for half the holiday, while she keeps ownership of the full holiday, and sells or gifts his half that he has paid for to someone of her choosing - that's not really on.

The fair options are:
The holiday is cancelled, he pays his half, she pays her half.
He pays his half, she pays her half and they go on holiday together.
He pays his half, and buys out her half (so he pays her £1200), and he finds someone to replace her (and recoups costs from the new holiday companion).
She pays her half and buys out his half (so she pays the total of £1200) and she finds someone to replace him (and recoups costs from the new holiday companion).

I think the only point of negotiation is the name change costs. Morally, he should probably pay for them, but I'm not sure if he is legally obliged.

This is such a weird, weird take.

He agreed to pay for half of a holiday WITH HER. He has now dumped her and chosen not to go. That doesn't excuse him from the financial commitment he made to her.

Having to pay £600 to not go on holiday because your boyfriend dumped you is not remotely 'fair'. She's done nothing wrong and she's entitled to go on her holiday and he's obliged to stick to his word and pay for his part.

If I agreed to go on holiday with someone and pulled out, leaving them in the lurch, it wouldn't occur to me to do anything but pay for my share of it and tell them to either enjoy it alone or take someone else. Anything else is an extreme CF move. This place is full of CFs.

Derbee · 07/06/2022 13:42

If I agreed to go on holiday with someone and pulled out, leaving them in the lurch, it wouldn't occur to me to do anything but pay for my share of it and tell them to either enjoy it alone or take someone else. Anything else is an extreme CF move. This place is full of CFs

@pixie5121 he’s offered to pay his share. Suggesting she goes on her own doesn’t help. She doesn’t want to go on her own, so needs to cancel if she can’t find someone to go with.

He doesn’t have to pay for someone else to go instead of him - it’s CF territory to expect that.

newname12345 · 07/06/2022 13:49

@pixie5121 Chosen not to go? Is it really an option for him to still go?