Daughter’s break-up and holiday nightmare

[LockdownBride]

Hello,
My daughter was 18 in February, had been with her BF for 18 mths and they booked a holiday together for after their A-level exams in Greece.
DD paid for the trip upfront and he was going to pay her back, she had £4K child trust fund on her birthday. The holiday was £1200.
He ended it two weeks ago, right before her first exam and we are just beginning to see the light and get angry.
He has said today that if she cancels the holiday, he’ll pay half, if she’s goes with someone else, he’ll pay nothing.
I think this is unreasonable as she will have to find someone to go with, pay transfer fees for a name change all at short notice.
If she cancels, she wouldn’t get a refund.
the holiday is booked with LoveHoliday.com

Any ideas or suggestions on her rights, if any, would be great 😬

Lots of posters are mixing emotion and finance. Yes it was very shitty of him to cheat. No it does not change the fact they should each lose £600 if the neither take the holiday.

The LAW, @mam0918 states that he owes her £600.
The law is unconcerned about who, if anybody, actually goes on this holiday.
Because it is immaterial.

She booked - for HIM - £1200 worth of goods, with him agreeing to pay half.
He doesn't get to change his mind & just not owe that money any more.
It is not up to him to set conditions.
It is not up to him to bargain, or talk about filling his 'slot' with someone else.

It is up to him to pay his share.
Whatever happens after that is up to DD.

My school ex done this before my exams at the same age
I was so angry
i was predicted two C’s
i ended up getting a full house of A’s and getting into the best university in the country because I was so so angry and refused to let him get to me - it actually went too far the other way

the day the exam results came out he found out through hear say and called me
oh and his parents were delighted intiially he ‘dumped me’ because I was a wee townie and he was a rich farmers son 😂😂- they werent laughing when they found out what I went on to become

best dump
of my life 😂😂😂 twat
hopefully your daughter had the same attitude

You go with her on holiday - fuck him and celebrate end of exams etc. Hes been reasonable enough - just a dafty.

100%. This is how it would be seen in court.

He agreed to pay her £600. He owes her £600. It is absolutely none of his business if she uses the money to take someone else. He forfeited the right to dictate who goes on the holiday when he pulled out of it.

From a non-legal standpoint, it also shows what a petty, mean arsehole he is. He'd rather the £600 go down the drain and neither of them go than let her have a nice time with a friend on holiday after he's let her down and screwed her over. What an absolute cunt.

This is ridiculous. The fact that he's already offered to pay £600 is an admission that he agreed to the contract in the first place.

In writing? Confirming that this was always the agreement, rather than a gesture of goodwill now?

Even if OP’s daughter does have all this, she STILL only gets £600.

This is the kind of thing judge rinder could help you with xx

Whilst being cheated on and a relationship ending isn't great , obviously, they are 18 and it happens. It could easily have been your daughter that ended it at some stage.

I think the ex bf is being entirely reasonable offering to pay something. Your daughter should just take that money, see if she can find someone to go with .

If she does, she gives ex his money back minus admin fees, if she doesn't then unfortunately shit happens, but a least she is only £600 down.

errrm.

he has offered to pay for what he's committed to?

I'm presuming what he's getting at is - 'if you can find someone else willing to go and pay half then that's fine, if you can't I'll pay my half'

Seems fair enough to me, although I think he should also offer to pay or split any fees for changing his details on the tickets.

Meanwhile, I hope your Dd is able to focus on her A levels. In the longer term, that is the most important thing. All power to her.

It's like asking a colleague to do you a favour and buy you a sandwich, they buy you one and then you say "oh I don't want it anymore, you'll have to give it to someone else and get the money from them." Why would another random colleague pay full price for a sandwich they didn't ask for and don't want?

Actually it is not like that at all.

If you are looking for comparables then you need to have the example of buying a sandwich to share.

Yes - that's a very good point.
Encourage her to do whatever puts this out of her mind for now. A levels will matter in 10 years time, but a holiday with an ex boyfriend and a few hundred pounds will not.

It's like asking a colleague to do you a favour and buy you a sandwich, they buy you one and then you say "oh I don't want it anymore, you'll have to give it to someone else and get the money from them." Why would another random colleague pay full price for a sandwich they didn't ask for and don't want? They might be happy to eat it if it were free, but they don't want to pay £4 for it. If they'd wanted that, they'd have bought their own sandwich.

It’s nothing like that. The actual scenario is more like ‘If someone else wants them sandwich they can buy it, but if not I’ll pay for it’. But the colleague who bought the sandwich actually wants him to pay for both sandwiches, because why should she have to eat hers on her own?

If your friend offered you a £600 holiday and you were then required to pay £40-£100 (maybe more, no idea) to change the name on the tickets, would you jump at it? £40 maybe? £100? Probably not.

He's the one who dropped out. He needs to pay the £600 and, if someone else wants to go, the cost of the administrative name-change charges. It's not a straightforward swap.

I agree with this. I also think his timing is suspect, has he got the money to pay her back? She could take him at his word and cancel and then find he won’t pay her. If she does as suggested here, at least she won’t lose out if he doesn’t pay up.

OK, so imagine you buy a sandwich to share.

You say "I'm going to Subway for a footlong - anyone want half?" Sandra pipes up and says she'd love half, and you agree on what bread and fillings you want. Off you go to Subway, you come back and Sandra says she's not hungry anymore and you'll need to sell her half to someone else. You ask if anyone wants to buy her half, but Janet hates mustard, Dave doesn't eat chicken and Mike has already had lunch. Michelle says she'll eat half because it would be a shame for it to go to waste, but she's not really keen on paying the full price for a sandwich she didn't want or ask for, when she would have chosen different fillings and she could have the Pot Noodle that's in her desk drawer. So either you have to cover the entire sandwich or poor Michelle has to stump up to pay Sandra's half, for a sandwich she doesn't particularly want. It's extremely obvious that the onus is on Sandra here to pay for the half of the sandwich she agreed to pay for, whether or not she chooses to eat it.

I'm not sure what's so challenging to comprehend here. You commit to paying for something, you pay for it. It's not hard.

Presumably she paid the amount of his behalf on the undertaking that he would pay 600 pounds to her for his part of the holiday. He has not kept his end of the bargain. Legal rights aside, I don't think he'll necessarily pay her any money even if she cancels. Dumping somebody before important exams is a horrible thing to do - most people would wait the the few weeks to do it if they cared about the person at all. I'd tell him I was cancelling and try to get the money back regardless of what I was intending to do - live by the sword, die by the sword for that little cheater. Right now your daughter might not see it but, as the Americans say, the trash took itself out. I presume his parents can't be pressured to persuade him to do the right thing.

Well, it's a faulty analogy (I'm only using it because someone else did) because eating half of a sandwich isn't the same as an 18-year-old girl going on a foreign sun holiday alone, obviously. She wouldn't have booked it on her own. The deal was she went with him. The only reasonable action now is to pay for his half and let her decide whether to go with someone else or to cancel.

If I have understood correctly, the XBF is saying that if DD can find someone to go on the holiday with, that's fine. If she can't, he will pay his half.

I don't see what is wrong with that tbh. DD shouldn't have stumped up all the money in the first place - I am assuming OP advised her against it, but DD is an adult and can make her own decisions.

Horrible to be cheated on and dumped just before her exams.

He needs to repay the £600. Frankly in your DD's position I'd be prepared to lie about cancelling to get this money. Only once the cash is in her possession should she decide what to do and if she does decide to cancel then I'd do it with a clear conscience.

Sorry, I mean if she decides to go with someone else then she should do it with a clear conscience.

If she uses his ending the relationship as a pretext for scamming him for a free holiday for a friend (and let' s face it, the friend will pay something and the OP's daughter will be quids in) then she's not exactly taking the high ground, is she? Very dishonest and the OP should not be suggesting it. I expect she will though, based on her OP.

Just tell him you're cancelling it and get the £600... It's then up to her if she wants to go or not.

Not completely. He dumped her the day before her first exam. Shows the character of the man boy.

The holiday cost is a red herring really.

Tell him its cancelled, get the money back off him, go on said holiday with a friend anyway