Changing child’s surname?

[PumpkinsandKittens]

How likely would a judge agree to removing a child’s surname? My ex isn’t involved at all but dd has both mine and his surnames but not double barrelled, when I first named her I asked the person registering what way I should put it so mine is the main one used, she told me to put it first, I later found out this isn’t the case when everywhere starting dropping mine and only referring to dd under exes name; after looking into it I found out it’s because places will assume mine is the middle name 😒despite not being involved he won’t let me change it to remove his name, I’ve managed to get everywhere to refer to dd under my name only but I would still like to officially change it, I thought this could be changed herself at 16 but have now seen it’s actually 18?! Would a judge ever agree to remove it, father has no contact at all and dd has only ever been known as my surname (I’ve changed it so everywhere only uses mine)

I thought you could do it at 16.

What age is your dd?

That’s what I thought but just been told it’s actually 18? She is 11.

Online says age 16
The other option is going to court. They may be ok if you don't remove the name but change the order instead

At age 16 or 17 they can do an unenrolled deed poll themself apparently

Just use yours only for every day use. She can use both for official things like passports.

We already use mine day to day but I would still like to remove it at some point and knowing now it’s 18 I don’t really want to wait that long, whilst it’s ok day to day it does still pop up occasionally, 16 seemed ok but really don’t want to wait as long as 18. Just wondering if a judge does ever remove it I’ve heard they don’t?

www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/change-a-childs-name

Says age 16 or 17 can do unenrolled deed poll

A judge might be more likely to allow change of order rather than remove the other name totally

Everyone on here will tell you you can’t, I managed to just fine though. I went on the deed poll website, changed my dd’s name, I ticked the little box asking if all parents agreed, and then it was changed. Her dad didn’t even know. Of course if your ex finds out then he could potentially take you to court and try to have it changed back. But I spent a lot of time extensively googling what would happen in that situation, and what potential legal repercussions they may be for me for ticking that box, but I couldn’t find a single case where anyone had been taken to court or arrested over changing their child’s name.

Did you manage to get a passport using that deed poll?

So the 16 year old would need permission or a court order? I’m not sure they would be more likely to change it if it came from the child? I just thought they could change it themselves at 16 feel so disappointed to find out they can’t, I’m not sure it would be worth changing the order of the surnames as just want it removed entirely

Oh interesting, no my ex would never take it to court, he doesn’t care that much he wouldn’t even know as he has had nothing to do with her for the last 5 years (he has seen her about 3 times in 5 years)!

Are you in contact with the Dad and has he actively disagreed?

Hey! I think I might be able to help.

My husband's ex wife has tried to have the kid's names changed via court and it was denied BUT it was denied because he has PR and they share care 50/50. (And the kids literally are here 50% of the time, it's not some hollow agreement that my husband doesn't keep to).

The judge ruled that it wasn't in the "best interests" of the child to change the name. Our barrister explained that it would have been in their best interests if the children didn't know dad and didn't feel like part of mum's family because of it. And this would only be the case if everyone in their family had the same name, except them.

So, if you apply to court and take the tack that you think it's having a detrimental impact on your daughter to not feel like part of your family, because she shares a last name with his family, with whom she has no relationship, they may allow you to swap or even drop his name altogether.

This really only works if everyone in your house / immediate family unit has the same last name. So it holds less sway if you also live with his boyfriend and his kid, for example.

I had my name changed to match the rest of my family at 6yo. It was grand for me because I really did feel closer to my mum and brothers then. Good luck! :)

• if you also live with your boyfriend and his kid... that was supposed to say!!!

I asked when she was little but he said no, and made it clear he would never allow it, I haven’t asked since and we no longer speak but im certain he wouldn’t agree to it

Oh wow thanks for this, yes we have other children but I insisted they had my surname unless we were married so they have my surname only, I put my foot down with them as I wasn’t giving his again since the way mine was dropped so she is the only one to share his surname. I did ask change it to mine when she was younger to match the others but he said no

@PumpkinsandKittens I am fairly confident that (provided your 11yo daughter actually wants this herself) a judge would view this sympathetically. It is not in her best interests to have a different surname to her siblings and resident parent.

You should look to apply for a Specific Issue Order. You may be asked for dad's last known contact details.

My DD (19) dropped her fathers name by deed poll at 16. So it could be done a couple of years ago, not sure if anything has changed since.

I have already provided the link that says they can do their own unenrolled deed poll at age 16

Disagree with PeeAche2. The courts are reluctant to allow a change of name. To succeed, you need to show that it is in the child's best interests for the change of name to be allowed. The child's wishes are a factor but are unlikely to be the deciding factor. Having a different name to siblings and the resident parent is also unlikely to be the deciding factor.

Yes. To get a passport the office asked for the deed poll certificate and either a school or doctors letter with my dd’s new name on. The school happily changed my dd’s name when she brought the deed poll certificate in and sent me an email to screenshot to use as a letter, and when I brought the certificate to the doctors the receptionist changed her name without even looking at it, just took my word for it. I’ve had zero issues whatsoever

You shouldn't really be using "known as" names to subvert the requirement to get all people with PR to agree to a name change. Schools and GP surgeries should not really allow a child's surname to be changed, even using a 'known as' alias, unless everyone with PR agrees. I am a GP and we would not allow you to add a 'known as' alias to your child's records without the consent of anyone else with PR (e.g. the child's father).

If a mother presents the child to other services, such as A&E, using a different surname, we would note that on the records for safeguarding reasons (to make sure we don't miss A&E letters etc due to Mum using a different surname for the child), but we wouldn't routinely refer to the child by the new surname.

You really need to either get the child's father to agree to a name change, or apply for a court order.

I’ve dropped his name since she was a baby, she’s now 11 nowhere has ever mentioned it including school/ gp/ hospital etc all letters come in just my name for her no one has had a problem with it

That doesn't change the fact that you shouldn't have done it.

If you want to change her name, use the correct legal processes, or contact your ex and ask for his consent.

And pray that your ex doesn't go to court to stop you referring to her by a 'known as' name without his consent.