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Changing child’s surname?

29 replies

PumpkinsandKittens · 11/05/2022 13:37

How likely would a judge agree to removing a child’s surname? My ex isn’t involved at all but dd has both mine and his surnames but not double barrelled, when I first named her I asked the person registering what way I should put it so mine is the main one used, she told me to put it first, I later found out this isn’t the case when everywhere starting dropping mine and only referring to dd under exes name; after looking into it I found out it’s because places will assume mine is the middle name 😒despite not being involved he won’t let me change it to remove his name, I’ve managed to get everywhere to refer to dd under my name only but I would still like to officially change it, I thought this could be changed herself at 16 but have now seen it’s actually 18?! Would a judge ever agree to remove it, father has no contact at all and dd has only ever been known as my surname (I’ve changed it so everywhere only uses mine)

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 13/05/2022 21:19

places had no problem dropping my name hence why I did it, like I said in my op everywhere immediately dropped mine and only called her under his name as I later found out it would be assumed it was a middle name, My ex won’t take me to court he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to see her and has seen her about 3 occasions in 5 years, he just won’t let me change it to spite me, im not contacting him or taking it to court as it looks unlikely they will change it so I’m just going to change it unenrolled for now until we can change it officially.

OP posts:
OhNoWhatYouGonnaDo · 13/05/2022 21:26

PumpkinsandKittens · 13/05/2022 21:19

places had no problem dropping my name hence why I did it, like I said in my op everywhere immediately dropped mine and only called her under his name as I later found out it would be assumed it was a middle name, My ex won’t take me to court he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to see her and has seen her about 3 occasions in 5 years, he just won’t let me change it to spite me, im not contacting him or taking it to court as it looks unlikely they will change it so I’m just going to change it unenrolled for now until we can change it officially.

But he has seen her 3 times in 5 years, so does have some kind of relationship with her.

A relationship you are undermining by unilaterally removing his surname from everyday use, without his consent.

If I were you, I would be worried that he would take me to court (he might well win). I would also worry about the potential for emotional harm to your daughter, who may grow up to resent you for undermining her link to her paternal family.

Have you spoken to a family solicitor? That might be a good place to start.

PumpkinsandKittens · 13/05/2022 21:30

OhNoWhatYouGonnaDo · 13/05/2022 21:26

But he has seen her 3 times in 5 years, so does have some kind of relationship with her.

A relationship you are undermining by unilaterally removing his surname from everyday use, without his consent.

If I were you, I would be worried that he would take me to court (he might well win). I would also worry about the potential for emotional harm to your daughter, who may grow up to resent you for undermining her link to her paternal family.

Have you spoken to a family solicitor? That might be a good place to start.

3 occasions in 5 years is having a relationship with her? Are you serious 😂

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 13/05/2022 21:32

going to ignore you now obviously some fathers for justice type, he has seen her 3 times in 5 years and you call that having a relationship with her? He has never take her in 5 years would only see her at my house and told me he doesn’t want to see her or be a dad and never will, told me it was my choice to have her and he will never take responsibility for her so never to contact him again. Yeh great dad 👍

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