Could previous text messages be held against me if in court for custody?

[Darkestdays]

Very recently left my husband, I still haven't even started wrapping my head around divorce or contacting solicitors but he has began to get nasty and yesterday threatened to get full custody of our boys by proving in court that I'm an unfit mother and saying he's got screenshots to prove it. I've spent almost all night scrolling through years of WhatsApp messages and I'm really concerned now. I had PND after my first and there are some desperate texts I sent him when he was working that I couldn't cope and I needed him home and I was letting my son down. There was a solid week I stayed in bed crying and my mum was messaging him about it, both just making sure I was ok, I went on medication which worked and I've been off them for a year now. There have been texts since about our toddler being hard work that day, being at my wits end. I've currently got a newborn and I'm holding it together this time, it's not a continuous pattern and was just a brief spell of PND. Can a court hold that against me?

My ex husband threatened the same, and went through with the threat. The courts took a very dim view of his constantly disparaging me and making very grand claims about how ''dangerous'' I was when he never reported any concerns, tried to get me any help (in fact prevented me getting help), and was basically absent more than he was present in the first years of our child's life. He didn't get custody. It did however take me about 5 years to even start to recover from the emotional damage and stress caused by his dragging this through court for years, having me investigated over and over and laying bear every blemish in my life. The law wasn't very good at protecting women back in the days I was in court and all the police could do was serve him some kind of harassment order which made no difference.

Please contact women's aid and talk this through with them. This is just more of his abuse and you don't have to put up with it. You need a non-molestation order so he is not allowed to contact you at all.

Don't let him get in your head and incite fear or doubt. He is trying to frighten you - its all part of the need to control. The less he can control you the more he will try to. Don't underestimate the depths he will sink to achieve this. My ex destroyed me. Had it not been for my lawyer I think my and my child's life may have been very different. When you select a lawyer choose one that is a children's panel lawyer with experience in domestic abuse.

Sorry to hear some of you have been through it, glad you're out the other side and thank you for the advice. I will look for a solicitor and contacts woman's aid tomorrow

How are you doing this evening @Darkestdays ?

Please don’t be intimidated. Your children’s father has no intention of asking for full custody of them, and is just trying to get you to back down. Tell him you’ll see him in court.