Children's Services Referral for my child - do I have a right to be informed?

[DalekScarecrow]

I'm currently going through a dispute about child contact arrangements with my ex. We divorced 3 years ago, I have always had regular EOW contact with my daughter but I have never been happy with the child arrangements, so I'm currently trying to change it so that I have more contact.

My ex has just dropped bombshell letter on me saying if I pursue this any further, she will allege domestic abuse, and says that Children's Services were involved with my child following our initial separation and this will be brought up if this goes to court.

This is the first I've heard of any allegation of domestic abuse, and I was completely unaware of Children's Services involvement. Ex has never alleged domestic abuse before, including in our divorce proceedings including mediation. We have had limited contact since our separation, all of which is by email and the recent solicitors letters. I have all of this on record.

Do I have a right to know what involvement Children's Services had with our child? We have shared parental responsibility.

I phoned SS today, and they confirmed that they have a file on my DD. They said "the mother was spoken to, and the case was closed".

I've asked to see the documents, but they require proof that I have PR before they release them. My ex has DDs birth certificate and is now refusing to send me a copy of it. I have sent them a copy of DD's passport and other documents - do you think that will be enough to prove i am her parent?

Just order a copy of your daughters birth certificate. They're not expensive. Then all your bases are covered.

@DalekScarecrow

I phoned SS today, and they confirmed that they have a file on my DD. They said "the mother was spoken to, and the case was closed".

I've asked to see the documents, but they require proof that I have PR before they release them. My ex has DDs birth certificate and is now refusing to send me a copy of it. I have sent them a copy of DD's passport and other documents - do you think that will be enough to prove i am her parent?

No, but you can get a copy of her birth certificate for £11. Get the ball rolling.

Thank you - I didn't realise it was possible to order a copy. That's good to know.

Take her to court. Why are you letting her get away with this outrageous behaviour? Fight for your child!

Hi, Child Protection social worker here. Yes, you should/would have been informed if an assessment was carried out. However, if it only made it as far as the MASH and they contacted Mum and decided there was no need for an assessment or allocation to a Social Worker then you may not have been contacted. It also depends why the referral was made..
Any questions let me know.

Par for the course. Another person alleging domestic abuse so they can get free legal aid and break down parent child relationships. Colour me surprised.

It sucks for you right now but I went from being a weekend dad to likely shared care because my ex acted like your ex. She is probably about to take you through the ringer unfortunately. It's nasty and unfortunately false allegations didn't make it into the latest domestic abuse act.

I requested SARs for my GP and Social Service. They were a veritable gold mine.

@Kindlynow

Hi, Child Protection social worker here. Yes, you should/would have been informed if an assessment was carried out. However, if it only made it as far as the MASH and they contacted Mum and decided there was no need for an assessment or allocation to a Social Worker then you may not have been contacted. It also depends why the referral was made.. Any questions let me know.

Thank you Kindlynow that is very kind.

The wording in the solicitor's letter was "our client was a victim of domestic abuse, which lead to an assessment being completed by Children's services due to concerns raised by professionals about the safety of her daughter".

So either that is true, an assessment was made, and social services failed to tell me. Or it's not true and she has lied to her solicitor.

You'll find it's very easy for a determined person to manipulate a professional. There will always be a soft touch somewhere for a manipulator to encroach on.

You need to get to court and focus less on what your ex does and more about what you can offer your child. A lot of what you think it's consequential and substantial probably won't be over the long run.

At the end of the day what I'm seeking in terms of child contact is relatively minor changes in our current arrangement, to give me slightly more time with DD. She is focussed entirely on how it's not fair to her and has offered no reason for refusing. Her threat of 'raising domestic abuse allegations' just proves to me that she really has no valid reason to say no.

Update: I received the SAR information, and it was basically exactly as @Kindlynow described.

It turns out ex reported me to the police for DV when she left. This is the first I've ever heard of such a report (it was several years ago). That triggered a visit by Social Services to speak to her. Their report says they spoke to her, didn't feel the need to speak to my DD, and no further action was required. They go on to say they have no concerns about DD continuing contact with me.

There are redactions in the SAR report, detailing what Ex's allegations about me were. I've asked the police for details, but they won't release that info. So there's an allegation about me sitting on file with the police and social services which I have no right to know about. It's awful.

Ex's statement in the letter that 'an assessment was carried out by social services due to concerns raised by several professionals about her safety' is entirely untrue.

Social services visited triggered by Ex's own allegations. They found nothing of concern. How can she be allowed to write this utter bullshit in a solicitor's letter? Surely the solicitor should warn her she can't just make stuff up!!!?

My solicitor has written back. He advised me to just flat out refute it and not get into the details. So that's what I've done.

I've also made it clear that I don't want to go to court, and we are seeking every means possible to avoid court. It is her own actions in refusing mediation and refusing to negotiate that are leading us towards court, and her making threats won't change that.

I am sorry but I disagree.

Take her to court. She shouldn't be around a ham sandwich let alone a child. I am up to 3 nights a week with a similar manipulator. Won't be long till she is in a contact centre.

Children shouldn't grow up around such influences. You need to think about your child.

Also you are wasting money on Solicitors letters if you think your ex cares. Look at how she behaves. Just put in the c100 and liberate your child from the madness.