Make ex-partner leave

[achy135]

I ended the relationship with my partner 7 weeks ago. We were together for 8 years. We have no children together. It's my house. He has lived in my house (with my two children) the whole time, and he has paid a contribution to the household running costs, but I've paid for repairs we've needed, eg new boiler 100% me.

I would like him to leave... I'm not forcing him yet, as he is very upset and he assures me he is looking. He says he'll leave in a month, (three months after I ended things). My worry is, if he doesn't leave, can I force him to go?

@prh47bridge thanks so much. Your posts have helped me.

I'm still hoping he gets out without things getting nastier, but I want to know exactly where I stand before escalating my repeated requests for him to move ASAP into a demand with threat of legal action. He is showing a nasty new side to his character now he doesn't get what he wants.

prh47bridge often gives out useful, helpful and most importantly , actual legal advice.

OP, listen to them, not others who may or may not be qualified.

Chances are it will be fine, but phr47bridge is just trying to make sure that you are fully informed.

@achy135 can you expand on nasty side to his character?

@CornishTiger the nastiness is verbal/psychological. I feel he chipping away at my character. He has suggested repeatedly that I am on some kind of spectrum. (I have asked him not to talk about my character - not to analyse me).
He says he knows me way better than all my friends.
He said my mum also was difficult (she died 10 years before I met him, so lord knows where he got this from).
He is undermining my memories of my beloved dad who died 2 years ago by telling me things my dad apparently said about me, (which I don't believe).

He says I have destroyed the family by ending things with him (the family = me & my (teenage) children + him, my boyfriend of 8 years).

He says I am shallow, I have been leading him on for all this time.
He has flipped from saying how I am the love of his life & he'll always be my best friend (which I don't want to hear), to saying he'll never see me again after he leaves (shame, but fine, if he would just get out of my house).

He says I have hurt him more than his wife (who divorced him 10 years ago & hardly lets him see his child).
He quizzes me about what I'm doing, who I'm seeing.
I feel uncomfortable when he's around and I'm getting more anxious, and my patience has worn thin now. (I wanted to give him time, to help him with the shock of my ending the relationship, and to make it easier for him to set up his new life, but now I just want him to go away).

@Enko thanks for you support!

I skimmed through the comments looking for the legal advice. Others thoughts & impressions are interesting, but, like you said, it's the legal knowledge that is so valuable. For me, when things are tricky & my confidence is undermined, I like to know as much as I can before I act. I hope @prh47bridge feels appreciated & keeps kindly sharing their knowledge.

I am just wondering OP - could YOU get an occupation order to force him out ? I know that when I divorced in 2008 I had to go to a judges chambers and explain why he needed to leave. He gave me an occupation order with so many days notice on it to serve on my husband . It may be different because we were both home owners as we were married but divorcing . Hoping phr47bridge will know the answer .

Yes, the OP can get an occupation order to force her ex to leave.

@prh47bridge just want to say well done for calmly explaining in the face of bad advice and an aggressive and ill informed poster. The point above about knowledgeable and helpful poster being put off by the numpties is a good one.

SECONDED - this cannot be repeated too often.

So he is being emotional abusive. Was going to say if he doesn’t leave then report this to the police and also do an occupation order yourself.

Thanks @CornishTiger - still hoping we can end things with some goodwill intact - I hate confrontation, and hate to destroy 8 years with a lot of happy memories - but I'll see in next couple of days whether that ship has sailed! May end up following your advice - really helpful.

Not what you are asking but when my ex refused to leave, i said I would pay the deposit and first month's rent on his new accommodation, I shouldn't have had to but some of the best money I ever spent ( no I never got the deposit back)

Thank you for all the kind comments on this thread. Much appreciated.

I sometimes get frustrated by people posting incorrect "advice" but I'm not going anywhere. If I disappear without warning it will be because I've walked under a bus, not because someone has upset me.

Belatedly thought I'd say - he left a week or two after this last post in mid-June. This thread and all your support, legal knowledge & shared experiences helped me a lot at that stressful time. THANK YOU. Hope everyone is doing ok.

@PinkPoloMint

Alternatively pay attention to someone who actually knows the law and isn't spouting bollocks about him having no rights. We don't know enough to say definitively that he has no rights. At the very minimum, he has the right to apply for an occupation order. That doesn't mean he would get one, but he is entitled to try.

I agree the OP should give him a deadline and tell him to go, but she needs to be aware that it may not be that simple.

You know nothing if the sort..

OP has given NO indication of a civil partnership or marriage. Until she does so You are talking still bollocks, and keeping OP terrified that she cannot get rid of her cretin ex.

Are you a lawyer PinkPoloMint? If not perhaps you should stop being so unnecessarily aggressive to someone who is? This isn’t about opinions or what’s fair, it’s about what’s legal and I think the actual lawyer on here may have a better idea about that than you