Should I contest the Will?

[pickledcrumpet]

My late parent passed away just over two years ago. They lived on their own but had a lot of assistance from a specific relative as well as daily meal service deliveries and nurse visits. They were also diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I lived a two hour plane trip away most recently and prior to that the other side of the world so only visited a few times a year as I had a demanding job and young family but I telephoned them nearly daily. This other relative let's call them "Sally" assumed more and more responsibility over the years and took over all financial affairs as power of attorney by the time my parent died. Unfortunately I never discussed the Will with my late parent, I was embarrassed and taught it was vulgar to talk about family money. I was made aware by "Sally" they had encouraged my late parent to write a Will. After the death I was told by Sally she was the executor and she told me the entire estate was to go to myself and my children. Having not dealt with the situation I did not question. Months passed and I was asked about sale of house and what would like to do with the proceeds but I hadn't been given the Will or knew any details as to the value of the estate/bank accounts etc. finally I bit the bullet and asked to see the Will and was surprised to learn I would not be managing my own children's estate until they were adults, Sally would. I sort legal advice and was told this is unusual and I should request I manage this as well as a list of assets and expenses to date. Salt refused both. I then engaged a lawyer who noted the Will was downloaded from the internet, and of very poor quality/unlikely to have been shown to a lawyer. I also then discovered there was also a codicil, after my lawyer requested to see it, we lessened approximately 1/3 of the estate would go to Sally and her children and it was signed 3 months prior to my late father passing. My lawyer also questioned the validity of the Will and codicil as Alzheimer's was on the death certificate. We have finally reached a point where sally has agreed to let me manage my children's inheritance but she is refusing to budge on the codicil written only 3 months prior to death. I have asked to have access to my late parents medical records as I don't know the date he was formally diagnosed but I have reason to bet it was prior to the Will and sally has refused. My only choice now is to take Sally to court. I know my late parent was incapable of writing a Will and also trusted Sally. They would have signed and agreed to anything Sally put in front of them. Going to court will be expense and I risk losing. Any advice on whether to go to court or bow out? I strongly believe Sally wrote the Will, Sally took advantage of my late parent and felt they should be compensated so added the codicil just prior to my late parents death. The fact that Sally is not willing to let me see the medical records I believe is also very telling. Thoughts?

Alternative viewpoint - Sally undertook responsibilty to look after a relative whose child was not willing/able to do so themselves. It's not easy caring for someone with Alzheimers, so it was a big thing to take on, especially for someone who was not her parent. Perhaps your father recognised this and wanted to thank her. Presumably you are very grateful to Sally as well - will you be in dire financial straits without the remaining third of the estate?

I'm sorry for your father's death.
To my mind it depends on how much money is involved versus the potential fees. If the estate is huge and a specialist solicitor says you have a very good chance of getting the money then I'd go for it. But not if potential solicitors fees are going to be a large proportion of the estate.
Also consider that Sally did actually help your father and saved him going into a home possibly and the potential loss of his estate to fees.

It would be very unfair to her if she has given over a lot of time and care, helping your parent when they were very unwell and vulnerable, not to get a share of the will. She was there, helping.

I appreciate the perspective and am grateful to Sally. Sally was not a full time carer by any means, visited once a week when able (was overseas for 2-3 months each year) and relished in controlling/managing and being needed due to empty nest and widowed. I was close with my late parent, they adored their grandchildren and would have done anything for us. I miss them dearly, think of them every day and wish we had more time with them and yes I should have done more for them but Sally managed everything. I didn't get a look in. I believe Sally has abused her position of trust, been spiteful in the writing of the Will (insisting on managing my children's inheritance investment until they're adults, no sally is elderly and if she died this responsibility would then fall to her executor!) and deceitful in not disclosing information and obtaining a signature for the codicil. I do not believe my late parent knew or understood what they were signing. They often got us both confused and mixed up, had no memory or phone calls, visitors or discussions.

I’m sorry for your loss OP but you say Sally took responsibility ‘over the years’ which gives me the impression that she cared for your father for a long time. Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s is difficult, while I agree you should have control over your children’s finances as far as the money left to Sally is concerned unless you really, really need the money I think you should be grateful that your father was well cared for and take the attitude that she has probably earned every penny.

Is the estate worth the cost of lawyers fees / going to court?

If so, sounds like you've nothing to lose as you wouldn't be planning on being on good terms with Sally going forward anyway.

Surely you care for a loved one because they are a loved one not because you have you fingers in their assets?

The additional fees are much less than the value of Sally's portion. Sally's portion is also to be distributed to her two adult children (approx 20% per neice/nephew and 40% to Sally). My late parent hadn't seen them in years. Neither contacted me after his death with their condolences either!

I appreciate why you couldn’t visit often, I honestly do, but Sally’s presence and willingness saved you time and money. I’d be disappointed if you’d said she’d been left nothing tbh. Sorry.

You have control of your children’s finances and that’s an important win. I’d leave it be, now.

I’m sorry for your loss. Alzheimer’s is awful.

How much is the likely value of the codicil? Given Sally did take on more responsibility for your parent than you some sort of recognition of this would be sensible. Point out that the diagnosis of Alzheimer's, supported by her healthcare professionals, makes it fairly certain a court would decide the codicil wasn't valid, and that Sally would lose the lot and be left open to criminal action. Then negotiate with her. Offer half or something. Both of you would incur legal costs which could exceed the codicil amount so be sensible.

Yes, if the legal fees are worth it, take it to court. The only reason not to do so is that that legal costs might outweigh any financial benefit.

Greedy much?

Sally is not owed any money for helping your parent, and certainly not 1/3 of the estate, whatever it's value. As you say the legal costs are much less than the value, then absolutely you should pursue this legally. Sally has likely committed a crime here.

Age UK and Hourglass have advice about financial abuse of older people. What your parents wanted while they were healthy is what is right.

I think you should be glad you can manage your children’s money and see Sally’s money as payment for looking after your parents.
No criticism of you by the way

Sounds like Sally provided a lot of support, beyond what you were able. I think her being able to benefit is a good thing. If she wasn't involved it's likely the estate would have decreased in value due to care fees.

You have a solicitor and if you're wanting to challenge that's something you should raise with them. Weigh up the costs vs the benefits as legal challenges run in the tens of thousands.

My lawyer has offered her 5% of the value of estate as compensation for her role as executor (this is less than the value of the codicil), she declined. He has pointed out she signed an affidavit testifying to his capacity to the Will and codicil but at the same time provided the evidence of Alzheimer's for the death certificate. I just feel it's so deceitful that she tried to hide so much information from me, lied about the codicil, and is refusing for me to access the medical records. During this period of time I was made redundant (Covid) and was out of work for six months. We are ok financially however and if successful the additional funds will make a big deal and go towards my children's education fees. This is something my late parent was very passionate about. Sally's adult children don't and are both unlikely to have children. I think there is an element of jealousy too, never being a grandmother.

I think Sally has been deceitful and played on you Dad's vulnerability. Only you know Sally!

I would go with my gut here especially as he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and a will was written.

Sorry about the loss of your Dad.

@GreenClock

I appreciate why you couldn’t visit often, I honestly do, but Sally’s presence and willingness saved you time and money. I’d be disappointed if you’d said she’d been left nothing tbh. Sorry.

You have control of your children’s finances and that’s an important win. I’d leave it be, now.

I’m sorry for your loss. Alzheimer’s is awful.

I agree with this.

It's also likely that legal fees could consume more than the third left to Sally so my advice would be to cut your losses and let go, I know that will be hard.

(As someone on the receiving end of a far worse deal than you, I know how difficult this will be! Feel free to look up the thread I started last about my late DF).

I'd let her have the 1/3 and be glad your dad had someone being there for him. You still get 2/3rds.

You should listen to your solicitor. If they think you have a good case, go for it. Starting a claim does not necessarily preclude arriving at an agreement with Sally. If she sees you are serious, she may be willing to settle.

For me the work done by Sally would not outweigh the moral issue in changing the will of a person without capacity to benefit herself. Also it doesn’t sound like she was an actual carer. It’s interesting that she took on more financial than caring responsibilities; this doesn’t look good in retrospect.

Thank you all for the condolences and it's good to have different perspectives. Not relevant but still so painful.
We were visiting the week when he passed, staying nearby and taking him for days out. We had some special last memories that I'm very grateful for. We found him on the fifth day of our trip when we arrived to pick him up for another day out. It was very shocking. He'd left a note in his Kitchen just saying "thank you". After calling the authorities I called Sally, she kept the note.

I'm waiting to get advice from solicitor. As she has refused me to access his medical records I'm not sure how I can prove the date for his Alzheimer's diagnosis. Looking back through my text correspondence with Sally I am fairly certain it was prior to the Will but she never shared any hospital letters with me.

Definitely contest! Sounds like she could have been fleecing your parent and us being deceitful. If it was all above board, she wouldn’t be acting like this!