Fiancé has debt from his past. What happens when we marry

[chickadeeeee]

Just that really. Do I inherit his debt when married?

@chickadeeeee

No religious reasons just feel like it's the next step. After reading all of these I won't be doing it. Will suggest living together and see how he reacts.

I think that's very wise of you. And yes, a quiet conversation with him is the best thing. And remember that you don't have to justify yourself to him beyond "I've given it a great deal of thought and I feel it would be better and simpler for us both to just live together". Remember JADE (never Justify, Apologize, Defend, or Explain).

And yes, watch his reaction carefully. You may get a wee bit of 'push back' if the two of you have seriously planned marriage, but if you're just in the 'talking stage' he should be able to respect your decision.

Do not marry him.
I'm a LP with my own house and intend to make sure my dc's don't get shafted.

Cohabitation is also fraught with a million complications. If they can prove they are financially dependent on you, they can take some of your assets if you split, so get proper legal advice before even moving in together. Its not as easy as 'my name's on the deeds and we're not married so I get to keep it all', whatever people would like to think. People get into these situations without realising how complicated it can be. You need to protect your finances whatever route you decide to take.

Stay in separate homes until the debt is reduced. On the other hand, maintaining two homes is expensive so he will take longer to pay it off if he stays put.

How much does he pay each month to reduce the debt and does he have a good income?

You are not liable for his debt but if it would cause you personal hardship, don't go there.

I don’t think the debt is a problem. It’s probably all fallen off his credit record by now (he could check that online) because data is only held for six years from the closure or default date.

Exactly how you make arrangements for the house would be a bigger concern for me.

Before marriage I would have something in place

Marriage replaces any agreement made before as pre nuptials are not legally binding.

Glad you are rethinking. Marriage means you share your assets in the event of a divorce. That's the law, the only factor is length of marriage but generally over 3 years would be trigger some financial sharing. If you divorced you would have to agree some payment with him or go to court and get a judge to decide. Either way, extreme stress and expense. If he had a bitter divorce from his 1st wife, don't assume it was all her.

You must really love this guy, OP. His debt and the way it'll impact his finances will really affect your own standard of living. If you were with someone who was in a similar situation to yourself, you would have a far better lifestyle. You would be able to retire earlier if that's what you wanted and could live in one house and rent out the other. That's when you could get married, if you were equal. I just wonder how you're going to feel in the future when you get fed up of the way that debt is still hanging over him.

What interest rate does he have on the loan?

I have no idea about interest rate or anything else about the loan other than what he owes. I haven't made it my business to find out.
I do love him and he's a really nice bloke but like you all say I need to look at the bigger picture. Q

Don't know where that Q came from 🤣

I was just asking about the interest rate because if it's a high rate, that debt will never be paid off.

I have no idea about interest rate or anything else about the loan other than what he owes. I haven't made it my business to find out.

Well, if you're considering marriage to this man you need to find out pretty damn quick!

You're even considering giving him a life-long interest in living in your house should you die before him. To the detriment of your own children.

I'll join the chorus and say do not marry this man.

Such a pity pre-nups are not legally binding in UK. They are where I live and I'm glad of it. (divorced, one child, I had more assets, but it also made sure they couldn't come in and take the cooker and fridge to pay off any debts he might have run up!!).

But doesn't law recently risk giving a live-in partner an interest in the home, not as clear as a marriage, but still possibly upheld as a claim by a future court?
(Or is it only where there are children?)

Why don't you suggest he moves in, and pays just a share of the bills and food costs, and what he saves by living with you vs what it cost him to rent he uses to pay off his debt.

You can then assess how you'd work out as a married couple by using this as a trial run, and the benefit then would be once the debt has cleared you can decide to marry him - or not as the case may be.

I would do it vice versa. Get him to pay you rent, have it all official, lease agreement etc.
But you pay bills, food..
That way he’s still better off but hopefully he’ll just be renter in the eyes of the law and hence not able to come after your house at all if you break up.

Either way, she's subbing him.

I am not a lonely woman. I don't need him but I enjoy being with him.

My youngest child still lives at home.
I never do anything without looking onto things properly so won't be making any rushed decisions. I will speak to him at the weekend when he comes to my house.
Thank you for all your help.

Glad you are rethinking. If anything ever happened to dh, I wouldn't marry again. Very little to gain, a huge amount to lose.

The debt is not yours but may have an effect on your life.
Debt does not always fall off after 6 years but depends on the circumstances.
I would maintain a separate bank account and retain receipts for items purchased. Should the bailiffs ever call the onus is on you to prove what you own, not them.

Just an update.
We have spoke and we aren't getting married. He thought I wanted and expected it but is happy to stay the way we are.

Very wise decision. Many happy years of UNwedded bliss to you both!

@AcrossthePond55

Very wise decision. Many happy years of UNwedded bliss to you both!

Thank you

@chickadeeeee

Oh sorry, I didn't mean that in an offensive way. I simply meant that you and he can be just as happy and devoted to each other without a piece of paper.

[quote AcrossthePond55]@chickadeeeee

Oh sorry, I didn't mean that in an offensive way. I simply meant that you and he can be just as happy and devoted to each other without a piece of paper.[/quote]
I know it wasn't mean't as sarcasm.
I was just thanking you for wishing us well. X

It was your emoji.

Do you live in England? If so his debt is his, not joint.
Keep your finances separate though, whatever you do.
Nobody ever starts a relationship thinking it will go wrong, but if it did make sure you are not liable for any of his debt.