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Future MIL lied to fiancé about the contents of a will.

111 replies

Thehouseofmarvels · 20/08/2020 16:06

So first off I know we need to see a solicitor; only not been because of the cost but hopefully we can in the future.

My fiancé's gran died in June 2012.

She had three children.

She wrote a will saying that fiancés mother R could live in her house as long as she moved in within 6 months of her mothers death and kept the house in good repair and insured. The idea was that R could visit her brother J in a care home. Fiancés aunt S is a trustee with a solicitor from a law firm. R hates S.

R did not want to live in the house. So visits for a few days a year but likes to have control over the place. She does not visit J. We suspect that the house is in a poor state. R is nearly 77 and also has a four bedroom house, in a poor state. I'm not sure how she will cope with two houses as she gets older.

My fiancé knew nothing much. That is grand house had never been sold and there were some lawyers involved.

My fiancé is recently estranged from R and long term estranged from every other relative apart from J. the entire family because they are mostly extremely abusive. Fiancé has a sibling who has never worked and lives with his mother. A sister who is married to a multimillionaire celebrity and a sister who went missing.

R told her son my fiancé the will and the house had nothing to do with him. She banned him from looking at the will. My mum read in an article that you can view wills online so I found it last year.

When J dies R looses the right to live there and the estate can be divided at any point with 80 years of the grans death.

We are hoping to have children soon who will be beneficiaries.

The trustees S and the lawyers never contacted my fiancé. If my mum had not read the article on how to find a will we would not have known anything.

What I wonder is why the trustees might have permitted R to visit the house once or twice a year when the will says that she must move in within six months and live there or the house must be ' held on trust' which I take to mean the trustees would take care of it.

These are my questions:

Can solicitors or trustees ignore what is written in a will or a trust document ?

Are trustees of a family trust obliged to make all beneficiaries of a trust aware of their interest or can they totally ignore beneficiaries, not tell them of the trust and not give them any money?

Fiancés mother is toxic. She has two favourite children and fiancé was a scape goat. When she dies I do suspect that my fiancé will be disinherited from his mothers estate. I wondered if his mum could have tried to make sure he never found out about the trust so more money would go to her favourite children.

I have heard from a distant relative I tracked down online that the family trustee S knows the house is falling into disrepair so imagine she must have told the solicitors. I have not spoken to the solicitors but I can't see how they would not know that R did not live there.

I suppose the trustee solicitors need to be contacted. From my description does it sound like the trustees could have acted improperly ? It is a concern they may charge hundreds of pounds just to speak to them.

I also wonder what will happen when R gets very old as J is about 20 years younger. People with downs are living so long these days that he may out live her.

I hope people will offer some thoughts which might help in working out how to approach.

OP posts:
Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 00:41

@TiddyTid

Grans wish was that R moved in to Grans house within six months of Grans death and to maintain the property. If R did not move in within six months she lost the right to use the property. She was supposed to visit J regularly in his care home.

Problem was R did not want to live in the property or go there more than once or twice a year. She did not want to visit J.

For some reason R has been allowed by the trustees to only visit the property about once or or twice a year.

Fiancé knew when she was going until recent estrangement because she insisted he paid for her bus tickets.

So basically the trustees made up new rules to suit R. Trust document rules being ignored and Grans wishes ignored.

But as people say best to forget all about it. Not my business. I know that now.

OP posts:
Krazynights34 · 21/08/2020 00:44

OP - do yourself a favour. Stop listening to your unqualified brother because it sounds like he is talking out of his arse.
You don’t need a specialist solicitor.
You need to mind your own business!
Are you just with your fiancé because of this stupid assumption that if you have children you can somehow force R out of the position she’s currently in re the inheritance?
May I kindly suggest you care for your fiancé and leave this issue alone (which you keep saying you will but clearly can’t even leave the thread)

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 00:47

@Catsup

No not left between three siblings.

S gets a third to herself because she has no children.

J could not get it because he has Down's syndrome and in a care home; giving a large inheritance to a person with downs would mean his care home might take it off him for care.

What J would have had if he had not had downs is added to R's third but it makes it clear that the money should not be given to R but that the two thirds should act as a trust fund. Her, her kids and grandchildren have equal rights to apply for money.

That's the theory but honestly I can see now I should forget it. I understand. People are right.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2020 00:48

It sounds like you've over fantasised all this op, to be your fiance's saviour and make him better.
What if you find the sister in January? What if she's a narcissistic crack addict? What if the rain she hasn't tried to get in touch with him is a really good one. Would he rather he know she were dead if she is or carry on imagining she's happy somewhere? You can't predict how this will unfold if your successful, and you could utterly blow up good life without his say so. Even without poor MH.

As for the will, why throw good money at lawyers just to see if HE is allowed to put a case forward to inherit a dilapidated house full of bad memories? Your getting married, you want kids, that should be your focus

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 00:52

@SleepingStandingUp

When you put it like that perhaps it's best not to look for her.

Perhaps we should just, apart from visiting J in his home forget the lot of them even exist..

OP posts:
Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 00:54

At least if we do go forward keep the estrangement from everyone and never think about the lot of them again.., at least I have had advice, at least I have thought about it. Perhaps best to say to cousin relationship is a bad idea as she talks to S and if we see her we may well hear about the ongoing fighting.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2020 00:59

You need to talk to your DF and ask what he wants

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 01:00

@SleepingStandingUp

He desperately wants to find his sister and has tried but has had no luck.

OP posts:
Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 01:04

@SleepingStandingUp

I want to find her because I know that's what he wants.

But as you say what if she were dead or a drug addict? What if she does not want to be found. I would say it might be mortally wrong to look for someone what does not want to be found.

But if I found her and she wanted contact I can't even begin to tell you what it would mean to him.

Part of the problem is that other than trying a charity people finder service he has no idea what to do.

OP posts:
Catsup · 21/08/2020 01:05

Christ, so J's inheritance has passed him by so the public can continue to fund his care, vs his mum giving his share of what sounds like a pretty hefty inheritance to do it 😳. To be honest I would not want to be within a million miles of this obvious shitstorm of potentially morally questionable extended family.

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 01:09

@Catsup

Yes that's it the trust is so the council fund his care.

His inheritance has to go somewhere so the idea was that R would not just get two thirds to spend on herself but would share it with her whole family.

Yes you are right and yes I see now it's better to stay away.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2020 01:20

How old was she when she went missing op and how long ago?

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 01:34

@SleepingStandingUp

I think fiancé said either 2014 or 2015. I think she was around the 40 mark.

She was living independently but was sectioned. She had skizoprenia.

Her mother R managed to get her out of there and bring her home.

Fiancés brother from what I understand decided that he didn't want her around. Told her either she leave the house or he would ring hospital and make sure they took her back. Fiancés sister leaves and becomes street homeless. Then one day no longer on street begging. Fiancé said something about local homeless shelter thinking she'd gone off somewhere.

Fiancé was living with ex at the time. Ex had a child ( not his). Fiancé could not take her in as his ex not keen I'm very mentally unstable sister around his child.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2020 01:37

You said your early 20s, so is there a big gap between him and his sister or you and him?

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 01:43

I mean ted I'm a young person in my twenties, rather than early twenties.

I'm 27. Maybe ' young person ' makes me sound early twenties, sorry if I mislead.

He is 40.

She would be about 45 now.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2020 01:50

Yeah I assumed you meant early 20s, then there's a guy possibly in his mood 40s who you feel you have to rescue from his awful life. I was just gonna say he careful you don't feel like you have to somehow prove your worth.

But also, he's Def a grown man not a kid. If he wants to find her, of course help and make suggestions bit I don't think you should try behind his back. It could be catastrophic. And the will, he needs to decide if he wants to spend his money on a lawyer or just walk away and leave them to it, but it's all on him with you there for support, not taking it upon yourself to fix him

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 01:51

@SleepingStandingUp

The non missing sister is married to someone.. obviously can't say but you are likely to have heard of them. Incredibly successful in a particular creative field.

You never know what family messes lie behind the closed doors of the rich and famous.

OP posts:
Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 01:52

@SleepingStandingUp

40 rather than mid 40s but point taken same difference.

Yes yr right I suppose

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2020 01:54

[quote Thehouseofmarvels]@SleepingStandingUp

The non missing sister is married to someone.. obviously can't say but you are likely to have heard of them. Incredibly successful in a particular creative field.

You never know what family messes lie behind the closed doors of the rich and famous. [/quote]
So perhaps be should talk to the sis about throwing money at the problem although perhaps they're more worried about skeletons in the closet...

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 02:02

@SleepingStandingUp

Sister who married v well known person barely spoken to him since meeting that person.

Had only Her mother at glossy wedding. No not Meghan Markle but like Meghan cut down family ties when nesting this person possibly to prevent him finding out extent of family problems.

So chance of him talking her into stopping throwing money at the problem = non existent. Has a child fiancé has never met. On internet bios it lists two child

OP posts:
Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 02:05

Post sent too soon. Should say on internet biographies of this famous person one other child is mentioned that does not exist as far as we know. Must be a mistake but an odd one. Just goes to show things you read online about celebrities can be completely invented.

OP posts:
Catsup · 21/08/2020 02:44

If missing sis has previously been known to services then fiancé could contact local adult social services to ask if they have a recent record regarding her. It's unlikely they'd give out any information as it'd be her choice if she would want to have contact made. But he could certainly leave his phone number to be passed on to a social worker/CPN if she's involved with one. I'd ask for the provision that his number isn't passed on directly to her, but if she's working with services, that he'd be willing for them to make contact as a intramediate if she's open to it.

Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 02:47

@Catsup thank you for this brilliant advice. I have no idea about this sort of thing but that sounds doable.

OP posts:
Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 02:48

@Catsup

If we do that exactly what you have said and she does actually get in contact I'll owe you a lot for your advice.

OP posts:
Thehouseofmarvels · 21/08/2020 03:02

@SleepingStandingUp

When I said I wanted to find fiancés sister as a Christmas present and you said I had been fantasising. Yes I had I guess that's a fantasy.

However maybe if I can use that fantasy if not to create reality then perhaps to create fiction.

I sold a piece of fiction a well known women's magazine recently. They said that I could send another.

I'm going to write a story about a person who tracks down a long lost family member as a Christmas present to their fiancé. I'll ask the mag if they can publish in December issue. The Dude thinks the woman is maybe having an affair as she's being very secretive. Meeting somebody messaging someone and trying to hide it. She says we need to have a chat. The Dude thinks she's going to break up with him. Dude says I know there is someone else. The Someone rose the girl has been messaging is his missing relative. Cue tearful yet happy hugs.

I really needed an idea for another story to sell them and your comment game me one. Thank you so much.

OP posts:
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