Any solicitors here? Need urgent advice re domestic abuse situation?

[Whatisthename]

So I am divorced and have dc with ex. He was abusive. I went through the court and cafcass a while back and the court ordered no direct contact but he could write to the dc once a month. He never wrote to them. Last month decided he’s going to start writing to them. I said no, they don’t want to hear from you leave us alone. He did I anyway, I decided kids (both secondary age) were old enough to decide if they wanted to read it, they both did and got very upset. Dc all have SN and mental health problems (because of him) and under camhs and in therapy. It has pushed them over the edge. I told him do not write again they want nothing from you, he’s written again.

I’m awaiting for a call back about legal aid as I had that through the court process but I’m not holding my breath this time. I can’t afford a solicitor. Does this count as harrasment now and can I go to the police for them to be involved? Dc want to move house so he doesn’t know where they are but they isn’t the solution....

Iv tried ringing women’s aid but they are too busy to take any more calls so will keep trying them. Citizens advice no help, just said ring women’s aid....

Would really appreciate someone who is legal who knows the law about this?

@Whatisthename I reported him previously for coercive control but didn’t take it any further just spoke to the police. Do you still think I should report this incident too? Problem is she has no visible injuries as it took her two weeks to tell me.

@Sunshine275 yes for sure report. I didn’t for all the things he did to me... stupid I know but I was too scared so I regret that.

My dc have severe mental health problems now because of their dad, that played a huge part in the previous court case, irs not all about physical abuse,.. that’s is what I will be bringing up if I get legal aid. My scare so scared of him in their own home. That is not fair at all.no way.

Thank you, I’m scared of my ex and what he is capable of he used to threaten if I told people that he’d kill himself and take her with him. I believe he is capable of this is has admitted he has a personality disorder. I do have admittance of the personality disorder in texts.

@Whatisthename I would do what people have said put the letter in boxes don’t let them read them if they don’t want.
Also try anxiety therapy if you haven’t already. I suffer with anxiety and post is an issue with me after I got an unexpected solicitors letter since then I hate getting post and feel sick until the post has been.

@Sunshine275 iv had everything. Therapy, CBT, reading books etc and I think I’m doing ok and then shit like this happens and I go back to square one. I hate this. If I qualify for legal aid I will get advice and then probably go back to court once and for all... I would maybe try for a non molestation order or whatever they are called if I can, to stop him contacting me as well as them. I will then block him on my phone. Of course I can’t do that now as I could be seen as obstructive in eyes of the court.

Legal aid is annoying, been on .gov website and go through the questions and it says ‘you might qualify’ that is not remotely helpful!! So still have to wait for that phone call.

My biggest regret ever is not contacting the police right at the very beginning... irrelevant now of course I know. I just want me and dc to feel safe in our own home knowing that he can’t ever make any contact but that won’t help unless he dies or court says he can’t.

@Whatisthename my personal take on this is I know you’re right and why should he be allowed that control and contact. But they’ll be allowing it under the human rights act won’t they and probably the very very minimum they can allow because taking away his “rights” I know he doesn’t deserve any but the courts have to be legally doing their part too.
Going back to court may just make it worse and spur him on again, if he knows he’s getting to you then as you well know it’s all about control he could push for more contact. The court process will bring you even more stress too.
It’s hard I know but remember that one day they will stop the children are getting older and one day it will be over. Bide your time, let getting the letter be viewed as “junk mail” and everytime any “junk mail” come put them in a box or throw them.

The law is that it is in the childrens best interests to have regular and meaningful with both parents. It is the child's right, so what a lot of parents dont realise is that a child arrangement order is overruling their children's rights, not their exes.

The caveat is that it is safe. I know of a case where a heroin addict sees their children directly every weekend. How? The solicitor was clever and had it written in that a social worker just needed to verify he wasnt on drugs before and after contact.