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Original poster

Verbal agreement to contribute to holiday

269 replies

emkana · 06/03/2020 06:58

When my daughter was with her boyfriend we said he could come on holiday with us. He verbally agreed to contribute a percentage of the cost, and the full amount in case of separation.
He has now split up with her but is not willing to pay. Is there any legal
obligation on him?

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 06/03/2020 08:39

Dd wants him to pay.

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 06/03/2020 08:39

@PurpleDaisies of course I don't but he wouldn't, would he?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 06/03/2020 08:41

But does she want him to come? I’m sure she wouldn’t. I’m sure you wouldn’t.

PegasusReturns · 06/03/2020 08:43

@PurpleDaisies of course I don't but he wouldn't, would he?

If I was 19, had the sort of callous streak that would lead me to end a serious relationship by two word text and was forced to pay for a holiday with the ex, I’d probably turn up.

itsallthedramaMickiloveit · 06/03/2020 08:43

But the if he says he can have it transferred to another do you have the right to tell him no?

PurpleDaisies · 06/03/2020 08:43

I can see an immature nineteen year old, the type to dump by two word text, demanding to actually go on a holiday you were insisting they pay for.

TheVanguardSix · 06/03/2020 08:43

You just have to draw a line under it or tilt at windmills. Those are your two options. How much longer do you want the ghost of this guy in your DD's life?

TheVanguardSix · 06/03/2020 08:44

He's really not going to be joining you on any holiday. Surely you must rule this out completely. That's the nonsense talking.

PegasusReturns · 06/03/2020 08:44

And what if he does? Presumably they’re sharing a hotel room? What happens when he spends the day flirting with other girls or talking them back to “their” room?!

You’re being silly

IfYoureNotIntoYoga · 06/03/2020 08:45

Regardless of whether his parents are loaded you made the agreement with him.

Annoying but not that much you can do about it. You might be able to cancel just his place on the trip and just be down by one persons deposit depending on how long there is to go before the trip.

I'm sure you will draw on the experience and not be so trusting next time. Teenage relationships are fickle so to be so trusting over such a large amount of money wasn't the wisest thing to do.

If you will struggle as an adult to pay I'm sure a 19 year old will be in the same boat.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 06/03/2020 08:49

My ex partners family took me to small claims court because we split up after his dad paid for a holiday. I didn’t go on the holiday, but it went to court before it was due anyway. They argued that there was a verbal agreement for me to pay. There wasn’t. They lost. They submitted a lot of texts and things as evidence that they’d mentioned the holiday, there was an expectation that I’d contribute, I hadn’t refuted a text where he’d mention paying for myself... I just didn’t want to argue with them.

They lost, he was annoyed, the court said that as the tickets were booked in my name with no agreement to pay, they were a “gift” to me and I could go anyway. I didn’t.

I think your choices are to drop it, or to get someone else to take the tickets and work on getting DS familiar enough with them.

ElderAve · 06/03/2020 08:56

I'm afraid when agreeing to take children's partners, especially such young ones, on holiday you have to assume that you'll be paying for an empty spot if they split after the booking.

I wouldn't be keen to do it, but if I did, it would be with the acceptance that I'd be paying if it didn't work out .

Lamentations · 06/03/2020 09:02

He's 19. His family money won't be taken into account. As falling as that may be.

WhatHappenedThen · 06/03/2020 09:06

Tricky situation but I wouldn't bother trying to get him to pay for it all. Although maybe it might be worth asking for a smaller contribution. I think booking and paying for such an expensive holiday in advance was a mistake unless you were ok to absorb the cost if they broke up.

prh47bridge · 06/03/2020 09:20

Whether he can afford it would be a factor in determining how quickly he was required to pay if the courts found against him. It would not be a factor in deciding whether or not he was liable.

Verbal agreements can be enforced. The difficulty is proving they exist. If you take this to small claims and he claims there was no agreement the case will be decided on the balance of probabilities. You won't have to prove beyond doubt that there was a verbal agreement but you do need to have enough evidence to convince the court that there probably was an agreement.

From the information you've posted here I'm not sure you have enough evidence to convince the court that there was a verbal agreement. His mother not contradicting you is not the same as an admission from him that there was such an agreement. Even if his mother said that the agreement existed he could argue that she had misunderstood the situation.

Making a claim would cost £70 if you claim £850, £80 if you claim the full £1400. It may be worth it. He (or his parents) may give way when they see you are serious. But you may be throwing good money after bad.

OhCaptain · 06/03/2020 09:23

I don’t understand this.

Is the £1400 for both the flights to family abroad and the package holiday? But he’s paying for the flights?

Original poster
emkana · 06/03/2020 10:19

1400 for the holiday

200 for a separate trip to visit family which he's agreed to pay

OP posts:
OhCaptain · 06/03/2020 10:55

But if he was going it would only be £850? Confused

Original poster
emkana · 06/03/2020 10:59

Yes that's what we agreed as a contribution - £150 towards the flight, £850 towards holiday

OP posts:
OhCaptain · 06/03/2020 11:00

So why are you now demanding £1400?

Figgygal · 06/03/2020 11:07

Are you really going to Drag a 19-year-old to court because he dumped your daughter?

Incredulous

VadenuRewetje · 06/03/2020 11:17

£1400!!! unless this boy is the child of millionaires, it was crazy to fork out a penny without talking to his parents even while he and your DD were still together. how many 19 year olds can fund that big a holiday? any sensible parent would have told him in no uncertain terms that he should be keeping his savings for university living costs not splurging it on a holiday with his girlfriend.

I assumed you were talking about £200-£300 tops. if you forked out £1400 on the say-so of a teenager I think you need to call this a very expensive lesson in sensible financial decisions, and move on. it would be very irresponsible of you to force him to stick to the verbal agreement because he almost certainly didn't have the sense to realise what he was agreeing to, and you shouldn't have put him in that position in the first place.

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/03/2020 11:21

I think you’d have difficulty proving he specifically said “yes I will pay £850 and if we break up I will pay £1,400.” That doesn’t sound like a normal conversation.

Original poster
emkana · 06/03/2020 11:23

Not becaused he dumped my dd, because he made a verbal financial agreement.
His parents are so well off that £1400 is just 4 % of their monthly take home pay.

OP posts:
itsallthedramaMickiloveit · 06/03/2020 11:26

Does he have a job or income that made you believe he was in a position to reasonably pay this back?
Not his parents. Him.
You made an agreement with just him. So stop thinking about his parents.

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