Aunt has died and her friend reluctant to leave her house

[JellyBook]

Our aunt died late November and she had a friend staying when she died. The friend lives overseas and doesn’t want to go (yet, she says).

Just getting a bit nervy about whether she will decide to stay even longer, and what problems that might cause. She has been left a lump sum in the will. The house and belongings are left to the estate to be sold and shared amongst various family members. Aunty leaves no spouse or children.

Do we have anything to worry about or should we just proceed with probate, sale of house and just tell her you need to make arrangements to leave?

I hope Saturday goes well and once she's in that Travelodge you need have no more contact.

I have a mental picture of removals men filling up the van while she looks blankly out of the window. What a horror.

And she's been angling at every point for us to pay for things; fee for bringing her flight forward (which she claims is hundreds of pounds), hotel, taxi fares, bus rides, excess baggage - oh yeah, so you can send back half the contents of my Aunt's closet? I don't think so.

'Oh, I don't know where I'm going to get the money for all these things'

Bloody hell. Has she agreed to go to the hotel or is this being forced upon her?

I have a mental picture of removals men filling up the van while she looks blankly out of the window

Our (very lovely and funny) house clearance lad, when we told him we were having difficulties with her, said 'don't worry, stick a label on her and I'll box her up too'.

Did make me laugh for a bit.

Other than that I've been angry, sad, angry, sad. I think I'll need some dental work after all this gritting and grinding of teeth.

I assume she doesn't know she's been sent to the Travelodge. I cannot see how she'd have the law on her side as she was simply a visitor to the house. She sounds horrible. Best of luck on Saturday. Her money issues are not the problem of you or anyone else.

Christ. Well, your solicitor has your back, at least.
What a nasty piece of work.

Bloody hell. Has she agreed to go to the hotel or is this being forced upon her?

Forced. We've said 'Final house clearance is ** and the locks then have to be changed, insurance requirement.'

Which she of course questioned us about relentlessly.

Wow. Just wow. It’ll soon be over OP. So sorry you’ve had to deal with this on top of everything else 💐

Best of luck to you! Use subterfuge to get her out of if need be. I'd say she needs to leave as the gas is being upgraded or something. Take her to Travelodge, pay for one night and then fuck her.

God, I wouldn't have told her about the locks being changed.

Bloody hell.

I have to wonder if she's actually a professional leech. Did the relationship start at a time when your aunt was in good health and independent? Or when she could already have been seen as vulnerable?

Bit of a sideshow I guess but how awful. Glad she will be out soon.

God, I wouldn't have told her about the locks being changed

Oh, don't say that, why?

Did the relationship start at a time when your aunt was in good health and independent?

They were distant friends for years, but I know there was a long gap when there was hardly any contact, and then she started visiting again more frequently, - certainly more since my Uncle died.

Nothing would surprise me about her now, probably playing the long game and getting her feet under the table for years.

she started visiting again more frequently, - certainly more since my Uncle died.

Definitely a professional leech.

We've said 'Final house clearance is and the locks then have to be changed, insurance requirement.' Which she of course questioned us about relentlessly.

Good grief, why does she feel she has a right to question anything? It's not her house and she has no right to be there, full stop. You're perfectly entitled to chuck her out without giving any reason at all. In a way, it's a pity you used the insurance excuse, it opens the door to that sort of conduct.

Thanks for updating.

What a horrible thing for you to have to go through, on top of losing your aunt and having to deal with everything that means.

The Mumsnet massive was right again, weren't we? She is a CF and she did have plans to acquire your aunt's estate.

Any chance someone else could stay in the house until Saturday for safety's sake?

Good luck 🤞

I'm glad you've sussed her and got the stuff back. It had to be so, there's no other reason why she'd be staying in the house. Hopefully no problems ahead for you getting her out of the house. What a piece of work she's turned out to be

😮

I don’t understand why you are being so nice to her? What right does she have to question you about anything?

Just turf her out!

TBF, the OP does say their solicitor has advised caution just in case she tries to make a claim against the estate, which would be costly (and, one assumes, time-consuming and stressful).

I do, though, think that any time she tries to question anything you should shut down and just repeat 'it's not a discussion' until she stops.

Good grief, why does she feel she has a right to question anything? It's not her house and she has no right to be there, full stop. You're perfectly entitled to chuck her out without giving any reason at all. In a way, it's a pity you used the insurance excuse, it opens the door to that sort of conduct

I know, I know - but she's extremely difficult to deal with, I don't particularly like confrontation, but I'm usually no push-over either, but she is just so tricky, and slippery and tactical. Seriously, she is a master at it. Even my brother finds her difficult to reason with.

But we're taking back control, not pandering to her tantrums and wailing any more.

Any chance someone else could stay in the house until Saturday for safety's sake?

There's literally nothing else for her to do, everything of any importance or value is out. Even if she sets fire to the place at least it's insured.

I'm rather hoping the place will be burgled and, well I won't say any more, Karma and all that.

I do, though, think that any time she tries to question anything you should shut down and just repeat 'it's not a discussion' until she stops.

I really like that, thank you. Will pass on to anyone having to deal with her. I'm not sure I'm going to be there when she goes, as much as I would like to let the door hit her on her way out.

What a nasty leech.

A retired policeman befriended my (childless) uncle after he moved near him, tried to persuade DM to take uncle in, all while trying to get uncle to write a will favouring him (even drove uncle to the solicitors to arrange this).

Glad your removal man has the measure of her. She won't be sweet talking him to fill a case for her!
Roll on Saturday...