Ex is threatening to take me to court if I don't write him a letter saying he has overnight custody so he can get a council house. Please help I'm really upset about this.

[Shrapnel]

My ex is by choice living in a homeless shelter, it's the type of shelter where you need a job to stay there.
When we broke up ( because the 4 hospitals dd visits regularly weren't in an area he wanted to live) he moved in with his gran but she kicked him out, then his parents kicked him out so he's living in a shelter despite having a well paying full time job.
I feel like I've been pretty accomodating letting him stay in my house every weekend so he could see dd and I regularly let him take dd up to his parents so they can all spend time with her ( he can't have dd in the shelter) but I've been putting up with a lot of verbal and emotional abuse from him every weekend and his loud angery outbursts terrify dd so I finally had enough after he cornered me and screamed in my face for the millionth time.
I don't want him in my house anymore but I'd never stop him from seeing dd so for the past few weekends his parents have been driving down with him to pick dd up and they stay at his parents.
He's now demanding a letter from me saying he has overnight custody so he can get a council house despite being perfectly capable of finding somewhere to rent.
I really don't want to put anything in writing because I don't trust him and when I told him this he called me everything under the sun and made dd cry. Can he really take me to court for this? Do I really owe him a letter?
Sorry this is so long.

Why did he quit his job?

I'm not sure if it's more like temporary accommodation but it's not run by the council.

Don’t write anything without some advice.
It sounds from what you’ve described as though even if he had his own accommodation you might be the one seeking court clarification about contact arrangements - he sounds abusive and the court would need to consider welfare of your dd in formalising any overnight contact with him.
If you wrote anything now not only would it be potentially fraudulent but it could set a precedent for him re overnight contact.
Good for you for keeping a ‘log’ of things. I also agree with advice to contact police for advice/to record escalation etc.
Really good luck op.

She's not quite school age yet, I think I should probably get in touch with my health visitor tbh.
He missed his family, although they generally are really nice they used to enable his crap quite a lot.

You dont have to do anything, dont even let him in he is abusive and dangerous. Let him go yo court, so fucking what.

Think about what you said...he wants me to write a letter showing he has custody he doesnt you do

Logically

He doesn’t rent a home for himself
So how is he going to organise taking you to court for not writing a letter
On what grounds would he even be able to take you to court?
He’s full of nonsense
Just nod your head and say yes, you do that and I’ll have a chat with the judge

If he threatens to take you to court to let him see DD, he only has his word against yours that you are refusing this.

Also, he clearly doesn't have overnight custody of her if no court order exists and he lives in some sort of rented room, with other residents and probably a resident manager who will back up your version of where DD sleeps. There are probably rules about one person per room.

He would be shooting himself in the foot if he tried to take you to court to establish visitation with DD or to claim custody, since his claim that this already happens is what he is basing his claim to a council house on.

He's not very bright, is he?

You need to contact Women's Aid though.
They are there to help women and children like you and DD - you don't have to have been hit in order to be a victim of abuse. Bullying, trying to force you to comply with his orders, making you feel afraid of crossing him, even allowing him to stay in your home at weekends in order to see DD and being shouted at - all of this is abuse.

I hope you do call Women's Aid. Please call them.

Once DD is back with you today then please reconsider the current arrangement and stop letting her go with him and his parents. You really don't know for sure how he behaves when there, and they presumably kicked him out for a good reason..

DD clearly doesn't want to go and is distressed at having to. His parents can see her at your house without him present, assuming of course that they are reasonable people.

Women's aid were great when I had to ring them about a problem with my exh.
Please do ring them, they deal with exactly the issue you are having.
It sounds so traumatic for you and your dd, after talking to W aid, the police it would definitely be a good idea to talk to your gp/health visitor - this abuse will be having an impact on her.

Signing such a letter would enable him to claim benefits relating to your dc. Child benefit /tax credits /housing benefit. If you already claim any you would be putting yourself in a disputed claim scenario.
And may lose!!
He is an entitled lazy fucker.
No shocker to you is that op??