Am I Ms Mrs or Miss?

[Mymadlife]

I didn't change my surname when I got married. My maiden surname is Kaye and my husband's is Sanders. I'm a teacher and I want to keep my name as Kaye.....so should I be known as Mrs Kaye or Miss Kaye. If I use Mrs the Kaye is not my married name and if I use Miss then it implies I'm not married.....anyone ? Please help? Ps Ms.... just sounds secretive lol

Well if it was me I'd call myself Mrs. You are married so Mrs but that doesn't mean you need to change your surname

Ms is 'any female' like Mr is 'any male'. Go for that.
I was married to mr dark for only eight years but i'm still mrs dark forty years later.
I was miss light before I was mrs dark. I've not wanted to be miss light, ms light or mrs light.
I think it's a bit of a free-for-all, tbh. Choose something you like.
In school you could be 'Miss'. They always call you 'Miss' anyway.

Whichever you prefer. It's not a legal matter. I use Ms because I'm so secretive!

I use Ms.

Sometimes kids ask why and I ask them if they need to know if I'm married to teach them?

It's up to you what you use, the kids will still call you, 'Miss'.

I use Ms with my married name. I think Mrs and Miss should be banned.

Use whichever one you like. I see no need to indicate my marital status in a form of address so I use ms.

But why does it matter if it implies you're not married? Why do your students need to know either way? And what's secretive about Ms? It just means female. I don't think it's necessary to let your students know your marital status - not that they'd even care.

All the female teachers in my kids secondary school are Ms by default. While some might use Ms or Mrs in their private lives, they are listed on all school documentation as Ms and refer to one another when speaking as Ms.

I'm not a teacher, but I use Ms. I've been Ms since I hit 18. I didn't change my name when I got married either. You could perhaps refer to me as being a bit secretive as I don't think it's anyone's business whether I'm married or not, in the same way it's nobody's business whether a man is married or not.

Whatever you like.
Mrs can be a courtesy title, though you may not want to use your mum's or grandma's name.
Ms means female.
And when doctors don't change their name after marriage they will be e.g. Dr Kaye but upon promotion to surgeon they'd go back to Miss Kaye.

Legally, you can use any social title you want as long as it's not for fraudulent purposes.

I've only ever met old women use Ms. which makes me think they're widowed

I’ve always been ms whether I’ve been married at the time or not, and I’ve always kept my own name too.

@Monday55 I've used ms since my teens. I'm now in my early 40s. Most women I know meet professionally use ms.

I've only ever met old women use Ms. which makes me think they're widowed

I'm 36!

Call yourself whatever you like! 😉

I'm 36!

I'm older than that and have been Ms both before and after marriage.

The old-fashioned correct form of address is Mrs Jane surname - married form would be Mrs John surname. Very Handmaids' Tale and only used by my elderly inlaws, afaik.

Sorry I missed my entire point - Mrs Jane surname is the widow's title.

I think Miss and Mrs should be phased out, and replaced with Ms

Just as Mr is from Mister, Ms should be from Mistress with no marital connotations imo.

I used to just tick Ms for all females when taking details unless they clearly stated "Miss/Mrs Firstname Lastman" when asked.

Whatever you feel like. I've been a Ms for as long as I've been able to declare my own title.

I've only ever met old women use Ms. which makes me think they're widowed

Really?! What circles do you move in? I've used Ms since being a teenager and realising that a woman's title depending on her marital status and a man's not was so completely ridiculous that I wanted nothing to do with it. Effectively I moved from Miss (girl) to Ms (woman) as a little boy would move from Master to Mr.

I think that most old women (whatever age that means!) who are widowed would prefer to remain known as Mrs if that's what they had been known as before, I've never heard of anyone reverting to Ms when widowed.

use what you like, but I'd like to challenge your thinking that 'Ms sounds secretive'.

Do you think all the men in the world who use Mr sound secretive? Or rather that they are not expected to advertise their marital status for all to see?

I haven't checked the veracity of this but I saw a video of Camille Paglia discussing the origins of Ms (coined by Gloria Steinhem) and she says that the reasoning was actually to provide unmarried women with a more adult and authoritative title than Miss, which is what girls use, comparing with other European languages where an adult woman is Madame or Signora regardless of her marital status.

I'm Ms.

I also think Mrs and Miss should be phased out, and I'm also 36 so not old and widowed

Why not take the same approach for men and women? Ms or Mr.
Both can be used for married and unmarried.

And if you must, Miss or Mstr for girls and boys to indicate youth.

Personal choice, but I'm not sure I want to be defined by my marital status. Men aren't.

I would go for Mrs Kaye.