Am I Ms Mrs or Miss?

[Mymadlife]

I didn't change my surname when I got married. My maiden surname is Kaye and my husband's is Sanders. I'm a teacher and I want to keep my name as Kaye.....so should I be known as Mrs Kaye or Miss Kaye. If I use Mrs the Kaye is not my married name and if I use Miss then it implies I'm not married.....anyone ? Please help? Ps Ms.... just sounds secretive lol

Can I just starting using Ms if I've always been a Miss before or will it cause problems? I would like people to not know whether I'm single/married/divorced etc. Just by my name. Just like a man would be? But do I just start using it now?

Yes. Just get it changed wherever it appears. When applying for new things use Ms.

@CassianAndor does it matter if it's miss in some places and ms in others? Don't think I can cope with changing it everywhere but feel like there's a judgment now that I have kids and say miss IYSWIM

I'd like that not to bother me, but it does. I don't want every Tom dick or Harry knowing my marital status.

I've only ever met old women use Ms. which makes me think they're widowed

We old women sometimes choose to use 'Ms' because we remember only being given the choice of Mrs or Miss. On MN I've often seen women claim that 'Ms' is only for use if you're divorced.

Educate yourselves!

If you're a teacher, doesn't everyone still call you "Miss" whether you're married or not?

Go with Ms, nothing to lol over there.

I don't think so. When I got divorced I didn't change my name back but I slowly changed everything from Mrs to Ms. I'm sure there was a time when I had both on different things.

Thanks @CassianAndor

I think I'm going to start using it from today. I don't feel like a "miss" anymore. I'm not married but I am Mum to 3 DCs. I'm also most definitely a woman not a girl Now IYSWIM.

The feminist in me is rearing it's head. The only other alternative IMHO is to be "Dr" something. Although I am Dr nothing so am doing "Ms." Which I think everybody should really because why should everybody know our marital status?

Legally it makes no bloody difference. You can use whatever title you’d like.

If there’s no Dr on a form (and it won’t let you just ignore the utterly pointless title bit), I choose Mr. or Sir or Rev or whatever I bloody like.

In a school, I’d be Dr Crustaceans or Ms if I hadn’t done a doctorate. And none of the children would be calling me ‘miss’ whatever happened elsewhere in the school. If the men are ‘sir’, the women can be ‘ma’am’.

I’d suggest a battlestar galactica type arrangement where everyone is ‘sir’ but I don’t see why the male title should be the default.

I also kept my surname when I married. I feel I am not Mrs Myname, that's my mum and anyway implies my husband is Mr Myname. I am not Miss Myname as I am married. So I am Ms Myname, as I have been since the age of about 18 and will continue to be forever.

Use Ms.

Crustaceans yes! Why do male teachers get 'sir' but the women get 'miss'??? That's shit!

I'm a Ms
I love it - why should women have to offer up their marital status with their identity, men don't!

I use Mrs, Ms and Miss randomly. But tending towards Ms lately. I'm not married.

I'm married but only use my own name and I also work in a school. I refer to myself as Ms Choc, but I answer to anything as the pupils really, really don't care and usually just call me 'Miss'.

I get way more annoyed when people in my family choose to get it wrong after 25 years!

I once asked if Mrs means Missus ans Miss means misstress what does Ms. mean - apparently Ms means miserable.

I still remember having a stand up row in the post office, mid 1980s trying to buy a tv license because I didn't have a title in front of my name. I didn't want to have one and jobsworth refused to sell me a tv licence without one. I went for ms in the end because he wouldn't accept 'princess' for some reason

why should women have to offer up their marital status with their identity, men don't!

This x 100

I've been Ms Knee since my 20s. I married in my 30s and I'm still Ms Knee.

I still use Miss and I’m married. Never been an issue.

@Monday55

I've only ever met old women use Ms. which makes me think they're widowed
I'm guessing the '55' in your username refers to your date of birth and you are in your 60s.
I've been using Ms since I was 15 in the 00s. It's quite common nowadays.

This is not a legal matter.

Use whichever one you prefer.

Ive always used Miss and my parents surname even though I was married. Some forms you fill in won't accept Miss and married.

I used Miss (plus family name) because I am a divorcee and marrying my ex was the biggest mistake I ever made. Ms suggests I may once have been married and that's something I'd rather forget all together!!

*use

@Ella1980 - Ms suggests I may once have been married and that's something I'd rather forget all together!!

No it doesn't. Ms suggests you're female and don't think your marital status is anyone else's business.