Please help calm. Facing prison sentence

[WienerDiva]

I'm due in court tomorrow for attempting to pervert the course of justice.

It happened six months ago and I'm pleading guilty so no trial etc.

No previous and I'm a person "of good character". But my goodness I'm bloody petrified.

I probably won't sleep tonight and I'll I keep thinking about is my dd.

Just reiterating what a PP said about the range of the tag. I had a client once who got arrested for a breach by going downstairs in his property. I remember sitting in the police cell while he told me this thinking, 'this is utter shite' but low and behold at court the next day it was correct! A bit of an extreme example but better safe than sorry!

I'm actually surprised how everyone is so happy a criminal has not been sent to prison?

Not everyone who commits a crime gets sent to prison. That’s what the judicial system is for to decide the level of punishment. The judge gave her a level of punishment that he felt necessary for the crime she had committed. Who are you to say it is wrong? Do you know how overcrowded prisons are? People commit heinous crimes and get away with fines, yet you’re throwing a domestic abuse victim to the dogs? Get some perspective ffs!

'yet you have gotten a clap on the back of MNetters for not being sent to prison. I'm astounded'

Do one you vile individual

I loaned him a vehicle thinking he had a license.

Turns out he didn't.

He got stopped and gave chase and made me report the vehicle as stolen.

He was quite menacing in his manner and scared me to be honest, plus he told me he would make sure it didn't come back on me etc.

He then got caught in it again after I reported it stolen.

............

From the above, the Op believed he held a driving licence.

She also explains that her lie about it being stolen was not her own idea but something she felt corrected to do by the aggressive nature of her partner.

I do not get the impression, and neither did the judge that she is any kind of gangsters moll.

Yes she lied to the police and she has received punishment for that.

A custodial sentence was not in my opinion necessary and remorse has been shown.

Where I used to work we had a brand new vehicle delivered.
I asked my boss if I could drive it.
She said yes
I don't even know how to drive,
If I had taken the vehicle out and killed someone was it my fault or hers ?
🍷 for you tonight

I'm actually surprised how everyone is so happy a criminal has not been sent to prison? You now have a criminal record OP, this will limit quite a few opportunity's because of your record.

Christ sakes let him or her without guilt cast the first stone eh?

Have you ever done anything wrong at all ever?.

Woud you like a job as a prision warder

@SadVoiceofExperience

Thank you for that note last night it definitely helped when they arrived. And they couldn't have been lovelier if they tried.

Although dm pulled up as they had just arrived, gone 8pm and they thought I was her lol.

It didn't include my garden (makes me now realise as to why I was asked if I smoke by the judge) but will apply for that today as dd will need supervision outside in the school holidays etc of an evening.

Once again, thank you so so much everyone. This is the start of the end of it all and the reset I needed to get my life in perspective.

I have to make my business work and I will strive to be the best mother I can be to my dd.

I'm grateful my family are supportive, albeit understandably disappointed. But together we have all learnt a lot and will move forward as a unit.

Once the tag is off I want to look at helping people (it's not just women) in some way to avoid situations like this and try to educate people how to spot potentially dangerous relationships. At least that way some good can come from bad.

Glad it all worked out for you. I knew you wouldn't go to prison.

Diva, I think looking at ways to help other people is a really good idea.i hope that's something you are successful with and I wish you all the best at building your future.

For those saying they cant understand people celebrating the op not going to prison, I suppose it depends what you want out of the justice system. As a result of the judge's decision, Diva's daughter has her mum at home. Diva's local community will benefit from 200 hours of Diva's time and work. The prison system will not have yet another person to have to house and feed. Diva has come away looking for ways to not only make sure this never happens to her again, but to help others avoid similar situations. And all of the members of Diva's family will now have an understanding and respect for laws around perverting the course of justice. The difference between justice and rehabilitation, and punishment for the sake of it. To me the benefits of the sentence the OP received clearly outweigh any benefits of locking her up for 3-6 months.

It seems a fair punishment and if you learn and develop as a person from the experience, then justice has been served. Take of your daughter and put yourself and her before men, they are not worth it, the freedom programme I'm told is good, but also working for yourself and building your self esteem will help.

To those who say it's not harsh enough - well prison is for punishment and to protect the public, when the public aren't at risk a community sentence is often used

@katmarie thank you.

Part of the reason I got in this mess was because i had this draw to those that "need saving".

I needed saving from myself really.

I'm definitely going to have some counselling to get my head around the last few months and may even ask dm to come with me so she can understand the impact certain behaviours can have on people.

Time for self healing and building foundations of self esteem, confidence in both me and my dd are necessary.

She knows that someone I cared about wasn't overly nice to me and made me feel I had to do what they asked (she also knows what I actually should have done when feeling like that) but that it doesn't mean what I did was right or excusable.

She's emotionally astute for an 8 year old and is asking a lot of questions which I don't mind answering.

I agree entirely katmarie.

Intresting reading re tagging in effect its a cheap prison option as if you are under curfew and are tagged to stay in a certian area its in effect a remote controlled clink!.

Intresting bit here;)

Not suggesting the OP takes the err, "Option";!

In 2017, another criminal investigation saw police make a number of arrests in relation to allegations that at least 32 criminals on tag had paid up to £400 to Capita employees in order to have 'loose' tags fitted, allowing them to remove their tags.[51]

So pleased for you OP :)

@Avengers seriously?? Grow up and stop trolling. OP has gone through enough, has held her hand up, has received her sentence (a tag and curfew, really??!!!!), so who are you to think you have a higher jurisdiction to hand out punishment? I personally applaud OP for being so open and sharing her experience.

Thank you, OP, for sharing this with us. There will always be trolls but you've dealt with this with grace and honesty.

I’m glad it worked out ok... ok in the long run anyway. It must have been so stressful packing that bag and taking it to court etc.

I agree completely with the need to make people more aware with the high penalties for this kind of crime. People really don’t know and this adds to the temptation to fall in with an abusers manipulation and cohesion. Huge pressure on the one side and a naive expectation of stony slap on the wrists on the other. Creates a situation where victims become supporters and actually perpetrators of crime by their vulnerability to another. And that ‘other’ often seems not to get the ultimate blame and much higher sentencing that they deserve because coersive control isn’t at the moment seen as a proper crime/ prosecutable crime to add to the rap sheet of that individual.

The way another poster simply took the OPs expression of guilt as an admission of ultimate guilt, and didn’t even stop to think it through shows the way people don’t interrogate this type of situation properly. I found it bizarre that this feeling of guilt somehow became proof that she deserved to be punished as the main guilty one, even though she wasn’t the one to hurt the police officer. People are so willing to be blind to the effects of abusive relationships.

I’m not saying that the OP is The Victim here, because I don’t happen to believe that we need to assign roles in that way, with one slot only for innocent victim status and one for ‘baddie’ status. Life is complex and justice should reflect that. Unless you want a ‘hang em and flog em’ type of revenge system.

Its the difference between justice and rehabilitation, and punishment for the sake of it.

I'm in the local rag today.

I hate that they have mentioned my parents' type of home and my stepdad's profession.

It sounds so sneering

Sorry, OP. I'm sure no one will read it.

I was just coming on to ask how you were doing? Sorry the papers have got hold of it. It'll be old news tomorrow x

I'm alright to be honest

The curfew is a little inconvenient but other than that I'm ok.

I have my probation induction tomorrow.

I'm actually looking forward to it. I think it'll make the next three months go by quite quickly.

On the comments of the story they've all been in my favour strangely.

The local paper is a shit for trying to sensationalise things though.

If they are anything like our local paper no one reads it. So doubt anyone will see or remember it in a few days.

Hope things are going well (all things considered)

Our local paper goes from doormat to recycling bin without being read, I doubt many people look at it.

hi WienerDiva
Just read through the whole thread after saving it on Wednesday, so, so glad that you got to stay at home with your DD!!
The tag is an inconvenience, but only for a short time in the grand scheme of things!! And it sounds like you are going to do good out of you doing bad, which IMHO is a brill outcome!!!
Take care & look after yourself!!

Wiener

Hope induction etc was all ok

Been thinking of you and how you are handling this.

Bloody amazing woman

@MarthasGinYard hello!

It wasn't too bad. Just going through what they expect of you and what you should expect etc.

I have a meeting with my offender manager on Monday which I'm looking forward to and my RAR days are going to be with the Nelson trust and some sessions on recognising abusive behaviour.

I've been given a charity shop placement and the person who did my 1-1 thinks I could come off tag early (he thought it was ridiculous).

Anyway, I'm looking forward my placement and the curfew isn't too much of an issue. I didn't go out anyway!