Accused of Shoplifting in Asda

[mummatom]

Hi peeps. I shop in Asda all the tine, couple times a week I'd say. On this occasion I decided to use the self scan til. I had my 9 month old with me and I'm also 7 months pregnant, going to a very tough patch with my husband. Anyway, I scanned my heavy items and put them at the bottom of the bag and then scanned the lighter ones. For some unknown reason I was picking things up a couple at a time, scanning the bottom one and putting them in the bag. I guess it was the lack of sleep I've been having with the baby as she's teething and just doesn't sleep...!! I went to leave thinking nothing of it (and of everything else I needed to do that day) and I was stopped by security who asked me to follow them. I obliged as I didn't have a clue why. I thought I might have been a witness to something. They asked for my receipt and then it clicked. I apologised profusely but I was ignored while they went through every item. The baby then started playing up :( I said I was sorry it was a mistake and I had the cash to pay for the items (I meant to pay for them all with cash but automatically I paid by card through the lack of sleep). The lady went out with the items and the cash I had given her (total was about £7 worth I think) and the guy phoned his manager. He came back in to say I could pay for the items but I would be banned from the store FOR A YEAR... I was in such a shocked state that I just kept saying ok and thank you (so stupid). I was written to the store manager to appeal as he said I could and advised of the above and the fact that I can only buy the ready made formula (only thing daughter will drink) from there etc. I'm mortified. I haven't told a sole. Can someone advise how long the appeal took or the success rate!? Thanks!

OP, if this is true, then you’ve more to be concerned about than shopping. Your husband is a lazy, selfish bastard. Please wise up and make sure this is the last child you have with this waste of space.

Agree with light shade 👍

Forget ASDA and think of YOU!

Your DH is an absolute DICK!

Gather some things and go to your mums, your DH can go fuck himself!

Like you said in post your a single parent so once you have LTB, you know you can do it (probably a lot better with the support of your mum) I actually fear for you as in once baby 2 comes PND May start to kick in and your DH couldn't give a fuck?!

for you

I agree with @Putthatlampshadeonyourhead forget about Asda. Talk to your midwife about your 'D'H and his controlling behaviour. Better still call women's aid.

Are you looking to leave you dp?

OP please get away from your husband

OP...that bit you wrote with him insisting that his DM be there at the birth, not yours.....really??? Doesn’t matter who lives closer, YOU are the one giving birth, not him, so your choice, not his. If nothing else insist on this - tell your midwife, tell anyone in the hospital and make it part of your birthing plan.

I mean, my ex was bad - did nothing around the house to help etc, but even he wouldn't Have insisted on that. Maybe a culture thing?

OP, you've got bigger problems than not being able to shop at Asda! Your husband is a controlling assbutt who lacks empathy. Can you go and stay with your mum for a bit to give you some breathing space and think about whether you want to carry on living like this?

OP, I don’t know if this was deliberate or accidental
I DO know that you sound exhausted and stressed and your husband sounds awful. Please try and consider whether you can make any changes in your life to make things better

Two separate issues here.

The husband and the shop lifting.

As for th shop lifting, I think most people can understand making a mistake like you describe once or at a push twice , but not multiple times op. It would appear to most people you were indeed stealing.

I also don't really understand your explanation that you followed the security person without question, most people would immediately ask why, not immediately go with them without comment. Again this behaviour is of someone who knows they have been caught.

So as for Asda, they may have clocked you at it before on cctv images, and as such were waiting for you to go in and do it again. I doubt the appeal will be successful.

As for your husband, that's a different story. If this was a genuine error I don't see why he'd be angry, and he'd know if you were not a thief. However if you are a thief and you've been caught again, I can see why he'd be angry,

Op your situation with your dh is dreadful and I would seriously consider ltb. But your reasons for making the 'mistake' in ASDA just don't stand up. What you're describing is what every mother of babies goes through. I have a disability that means I'm permanently exhausted and I even lose the ability to speak in coherent sentences, I also have 4 kids and a dog but I have never bagged anything that I haven't scanned at a self checkout. It's a mindless, simple process; you pick up items one at a time, scan, place in bagging area, pick up another item, scan, place in bagging area.... there is no room for error.

OP please focus on what is important. Your DH sounds lazy & abusive. You deserve better & your children should grow up in a safe & happy environment where they see positive relationships.

This is your birth, you get to decide the birthing arrangements. Please speak to your MW, your DM, anyone in RL

I regularly use the self scan till of a well known supermarket to buy my lunch and there is usually a 10 min wait. One day I managed to forget to pay for my self service salad. Not wanting to queue for 10 mins I popped to customer services which was empty and explained that I missed it and could I pay there. Happened there was a manager there who thanked me for being so honest and told me it was on the house. Supermarkets do understand that people make mistakes, maybe they’ve clocked the OP there before?

Teef!

What were the lightweight items that you could scan two of at a time and they didn't set of the checkout overweight alarm and how many did you not scan?

Once is a mistake, multiple times I can see how they thought it was deliberate and imposed a reasonable consequence. You are lucky the police were not informed.