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Original poster

Can social services split a 15 year old and newborn sibling up?

118 replies

kbxx · 21/08/2018 19:24

Can social services split a 15 year old and newborn sibling up?
My partner is trying to get his 15 year old son to live with us through social services, he used to live with his mum but now living with his grandparents at the moment.
I'm pregnant with a little boy, social services have told me to leave my partner before the baby is born or they will take my little boy.
If my partner does manage to get his 15 year old, would there be more chance of keeping our family together? me, my partner, his son and our newborn.

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 21/08/2018 20:06

Some serious abuse, neglect or risk here

HavelockVetinari · 21/08/2018 20:07

ShockShock

Are you insane? Why would you risk your baby by staying with someone that SS consider so dangerous they'd remove your baby rather than allowing him to remain in the house? Hmm

LeftRightCentre · 21/08/2018 20:07

There's a lot you are not telling us. But if they've told you to leave your partner or they will take your child, they will do it. You need to focus on your child, not this so-called family.

RachelAnneJ · 21/08/2018 20:08

Why do you think he may get custody of the 15 year old if they are threatening to take your baby away?

If he poses a risk to one (your baby from what they are saying), then surely he poses a risk to the 15 year old as well?

Clairetree1 · 21/08/2018 20:08

If my partner does manage to get his 15 year old, would there be more chance of keeping our family together? me, my partner, his son and our newborn

no

no chance

SoyDora · 21/08/2018 20:08

Racecardriver makes a good point. They are prepared to split up a newborn and his mother if necessary, so of course they will split up a newborn and a half sibling.

DearMrDilkington · 21/08/2018 20:09

Forget about the 15yo and focus on your baby.

SS will take your baby if you stay with this man, they have told you this.

DearMrDilkington · 21/08/2018 20:12

How old is your partner op? Is he abusive towards you?

DearMrDilkington · 21/08/2018 20:14

Also, you said you were leaving him a few days ago. What's changed?

81Byerley · 21/08/2018 20:15

In my time as a foster carer, the only time I remember social services threatening to take a child if a woman did not leave her partner was when he was a convicted paedophile.

Elementtree · 21/08/2018 20:15

If ss tells you to jump your only response should be, 'How high?'

Leave before you lose your baby.

hiddeneverything · 21/08/2018 20:17

You posted the same thing a few weeks ago did you not, and everyone told you then to leave too. You need to listen to the advice or end up living with some serious regret.

Orchiddingme · 21/08/2018 20:18

It sounds like you are both hoping by having the 15 with you, it will make them more sympathetic to keeping you together as a family. This is not very nice for the 15 year old, who probably is better in the stable situation he's in, and won't work anyway for all the reasons others have given.

hidinginthenightgarden · 21/08/2018 20:22

Of course they can. Your partner is presumably the risk so unless you intend to live with the two boys and get rid of your partner, you will lose the baby.

speakout · 21/08/2018 20:26

OP whats' going on?

PeakPants · 21/08/2018 20:27

No. They would only tell you to leave if he was a risk to your child. I presume he has a history of violence or substance abuse. If you still want to stay with him despite having been warned about this risk, then they will take your baby, and that will be the best thing for the baby, because its mother is not willing to protect it or put its needs first.

ohdeardeardear · 21/08/2018 20:29

There is a backstory here. Social services wouldn't advise you to leave your husband for nothing. Is he aggressive? You need to show you are safeguarding your child and if by not leaving him you're not, a court order will remove your child. Don't be stupid.

PeakPants · 21/08/2018 20:31

I have read your other posts. You are 18, just 3 years older than your partner's DS. This is beyond doubt an abusive relationship. Your partner must be at least in his 30s and he is a risk to your unborn baby. PLEASE get out, seriously. Even if you think you love him, please do what SS say and don't look back. In a few years, you will realise what a horrific situation you were in.

MrsApplepants · 21/08/2018 20:32

As you won’t tell us why SS have told you to leave your partner, we can only assume the worst. FFS leave the loser

NynaeveSedai · 21/08/2018 20:33

Your partner having his son living with him will make zero difference to the risk he poses to you and your baby (whatever that is)

PotteringAlong · 21/08/2018 20:34

If they’ve told you to leave him then he’s not getting custody of his 15 yrt old.

Leave him. Tomorrow.

LeftRightCentre · 21/08/2018 20:36

He won't get custody of the 15-year-old and frankly, any cunt of a parent who'd do this to his child doesn't deserve kids at all.

CertainHalfDesertedStreets · 21/08/2018 20:37

You seem focused on trying to outwit Social Services OP. You can't. If they have said 'if you don't do X you will lose your baby' then that is exactly what they mean. Don't look for loopholes - it really doesn't work like that. Your partner is clearly a risk to your children and they will remove your baby if he is still there, whoever else is in the house, even if you win the lottery etc etc.

Just do what they say.

Twillow · 21/08/2018 20:38

Yes they can. It's a half sibling and not currently resident with the father and makes no difference in any case
Which do you want most? Partner or your child?

ChateauRouge · 21/08/2018 20:38

81Byerley- and if a child has previously died through neglect or abuse, and if there's been convictions for violence, etc etc.

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