Divorce, Death, Step-mother and Will (in that order!)

[dungandbother]

Grateful for any input, my brain is so mushed over the situation.

My parents divorced 17 years ago. I'm one of three children. They were middle class wealthy.

My dad remarried fairly quickly as he'd been having an affair. She quickly became pregnant and I have a half brother. His wife (my step-mother) is my age, she is a European national.

I haven't had much of a relationship with my father, I chose NC mostly as he wasn't much good as a father. But I have seen him every year, sometimes once, sometimes a dozen times. He sends birthday cards to my siblings and I and he sends his grandchildren cards and cash.

Sadly my dad died a month ago, very suddenly and unexpectedly.

I am confused as to the will. If there is one, why hasn't step mother said anything? If there isn't one, why hasn't she said anything?

I don't much care for his money. I do care to know whether he cared about the first part of his life where he was our dad for 25 years before f'ing off. £100 for the grandchildren would be about as grabby as I get.

So I am all angry about the not knowing part so I feel I should simply ask step mother. But she's grieving. So is it inappropriate?

Going around in circles..........

This new unsigned will sounds totally fake, no matter how crap a father he was, he would know how to spell his children's names.
I would start bandying the phrase "report to the Law Society" to any solicitor who is supporting her.

I'm sorry for your loss.

This is from the gov.uk website (www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will/y/england-and-wales/yes/yes/yes) - I ut in the details you gave:

Intestacy - who inherits if someone dies without a will?
The husband, wife or civil partner keeps all the assets (including property), up to £250,000, and all the personal possessions, whatever their value.

The remainder of the estate will be shared as follows:

the husband, wife or civil partner gets an absolute interest in half of the remainder
the other half is then divided equally between the surviving children

If a son or daughter (or other child where the deceased had a parental role) has already died, their children will inherit in their place.

So all the kids share half of the estate after the first 250K goes to your stepmum.

Shitty situation, OP, and I feel for you.

Honestly - i don't think there is any possible good outcome here if you ask very bad advice of course she has to ask its her bloody dad!

This is the 3rd story I've read on MN in the last couple of weeks of fathers who are careless, thoughtless and selfish about their children. I despair at these men who are so gormless & passive that they allow such situations to happen, and give no thought to their children, and the acknowledgement of the families they have made - not by accident Absolutely Holly its dreadful isn't it.

But very primitive also think of the lion packs abandonment cubs to go and make a new pride etc.

dung is right ring round to see if there is a will!

Dont ponder it - just get onto phone, email and ask !

I think it would be reasonable to ask your father's wife for the contact details of the solicitors who are dealing with the matter. Then you can contact them directly. As your father's daughter, you have every right to know about the distribution of his estate

i disagree and as op said this woman has made no effort to include his previous children in her life, in their life.
Op def get a solicitor, go in hard, say its ridiculous and no you wont be settling for 10 grand.

I would start bandying the phrase "report to the Law Society" to any solicitor who is supporting her

i cant believe any UK solicitor would have .

Tbh Op, if you remove the emotional upset this is causing you and your siblings (which us random internet strangers can do, not so easy for you and your family though ) this is almost a positive turn of events IYSWIM.
Your father's wife appears to NOT have a legal will. If you mean by unsigned, that your father did not sign the so-called will, then it is NOT legal. Simple as that. A legal will would have to be signed by your father in the presence of two people who witnessed your father's signing it, and have no benefit from the will and are not related to him. You do not have to accept any other supposed instructions. A letter to your father's wife, copy to the solicitor (you can do this yourselves or get a solicitor to do it for you) you and your siblings not agreeing to anything other than a legal will, if no legal will can be produced then the laws of intestatacy apply.
In regard to your concerns about the 'solicitors letter' with the dodgy letterhead, then ask the solicitor concerned to confirm that their firm sent this letter. I'm sure they would be interested if someone was using their letterhead without their knowledge.

Bear in mind, for your emotional wellbeing, that this is going to be difficult and will take time to resolve.

Agree with Faded!

It is a good turn of events.

There is no reason why he didnt sign it - ie, my dh did a will and signed it - so have other family members so why not your df?

its a great sign and yes not valid.

Do not assume a previous will does not apply.
A friend was married and husband died. First wife turned up with a will from when they were married 20 years earlier and because he had not written a new one the first wife took everything.

If you remarry after making a will the will is revoked.

No, the will with the DM is not legally binding, it is voided when he remarries.

This: "If there is a house there has to be probate if there is a will " is not true. My grandfather left everything to my nan, including property, in a will, there was no probate.

Anyway - this is all fishy and actually I would file a police report, messing about with wills is serious stuff.

It seems unlikely to me that a man who made a will with his first wife, had children. remarried, had another child and was fairly wealthy had not made a will. He made a will.

She just doesn't like that will.

But, if she as destroyed it, unless you can find the sol who drew it up and who has a copy/notes, then you'll never know.

In the meantime, I take it you have searched the national wills archive?

Even if you go with the intestate option, it's not like she doesn't have enough to live on from that (partly depending how property is held - if it's joint owners then she gets it automatically anyway, regardless of any will or not).

My dad dealt with my nan's estate, he had full power of attorney, so access to all her finances, and he did a deed of variation, and he did the most speedy estate settlement in history - died 31/10, paid out by end Dec! Usually the whole thing can take up to two years. If you use a sol they do seem to take everything to the wire.

"Do not assume a previous will does not apply.
A friend was married and husband died. First wife turned up with a will from when they were married 20 years earlier and because he had not written a new one the first wife took everything."

Not sure how that can have happened as it simply is not true in the UK.

www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/experts/article-2409754/Is-true-getting-remarried-invalidates-will.html

Divorce does not necessarily invalidate a will, marriage does (unless the will says 'in anticipation of marriage' or words to the effect that the will is written to withstand a future marriage).

The person who said a new will would be drawn up as part of divorce proceedings - that isn't true either! It is up to individuals to write their wills and for their solicitors to advise them on the matter.
Obviously it makes sense to do a new one, or at very least to destroy/void the old one, but no-one will MAKE you do it.

Scot's law. Will is still valid.

socts law is so different to ours.

Right, yes it is different than E&W - and you might have said that rather than confuse people!

Sorry: I should have said that if the house was on the sole name of the deceased there has to be probate or equivalent. If it is in joint names it passes to the survivor automatically.

I thought probate was triggered by any estate over a certain amount of ££ 5 grand or something?

No Sun - there's not really any set rule, but if it's a very simple will, most stuff held jointly, or even no will but same, v simple, and no bequests then you can avoid it.

It might be that estates under £x definitely don't need it but there is no set rule on which estates definitely do. Basically you enter the will for probate and the probate office tells you if you need to wait for their probate approval (or whatever it is called) and they might say it's not needed.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/dealing-with-the-financial-affairs-of-someone-who-has-died/#do_you_always_need_probate_or_letters_of_administration

And I'm sorry you're in this awful, sad, upsetting situation. Your SM does indeed sound greedy and grasping, but from your description I'm not sure why you thought she'd be anything else.

I think @dungandbother comes across as a thoroughly nice person & is obviously reluctant to start a huge inheritance row, with a newly bereaved woman.

Her father,OTOH, sounds like a bit of a waster. But I see this a lot: fathers who are neglectful in this casual way. He didn't care enough to leave his matters in good order, to show care for both his second wife, and his children.

Your father's wife appears to NOT have a legal will. If you mean by unsigned, that your father did not sign the so-called will, then it is NOT legal. Simple as that

This.

Your father's second wife is trying a very unethical method of emotional blackmail. Just awful.

And you, OP are worrying about being seen as greedy or money-grubbing. I rather think not.

Standing search:

www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance/searching-for-probate-records

Thank you all for your replies. It helps and I'm grateful. So many whirring thoughts and some of which you lot write down and help me process and cement. Thank you.

I'm crap at personally replying so forgive me for missing so many of you (on phone).

Holly Buckets such kind thoughts and glad you have me in yours in so many ways

The inner turmoil of trying not to judge my step mother and yet being faced with such obvious and abhorrent fraud... she would have been clearly told rules of intestancy. She has chosen to ignore them.

So there are two solicitors at play.
Solicitor A. Step mother has engaged them to write to my siblings and I.
Solicitor B. The solicitors my father supposedly engaged to write his will in June.

Today I rang A.
Hi. Could I ask what date you were engaged ?
Have you spoken to Solicitors B?
Has the estate been frozen?

Response.
3 days after funeral
No. No communication whatsoever. The papers with their name was provided by evil stepmother (ESM).
Yes. Frozen. The bank has given her special dispensation to access an account. The balance has been noted on date of death. Will be deducted at the end.

I thanked them and won't bother them for a month.

Will implement some local solicitors searches. My dad was fundamentally loyal in business so will help narrow it down.

Current plan is to eliminate known local solicitors. Find his properties via land registry and do some of the leg work before engaging a solicitor.
Seems the law has already shut down his estate (for their 40%). And seems her name isn't on the banks, properties, business etc.

Meanwhile I grieve the knowledge she has painted of herself.

Those of you who see the flaws of men who desert a family... thank you. Sadly I have too suffered this myself. History repeats and it's horrid.

The person who said a new will would be drawn up as part of divorce proceedings - that isn't true either! It is up to individuals to write their wills and for their solicitors to advise them on the matter.

That was me - I worded it badly I think. As the divorce went to court, was handled by lawyers & solicitors etc and a significant amount of money & property was involved, obviously you'd expect that OP's father was advised to make a new will at the point of divorce. So would be logical to start with the firm that handled the divorce. It's not a requirement of the divorce, but it's really usual to get it done at the same time.

Nosquirrels
Precisely! My mum is currently wracking her brains as to which solicitor he used in divorce !

I think step mother has already played her hand and shown how she feels, I wouldn't waste a second on feeling sorry for her. I wouldn't waste time and get your own solicitor involved now. A simple letter to say representing family. So step mother realised she's not dealing with three step children but a professional solicitor.

Your mum should be able to find out from the divorce court who his solicitors were.