Ex using my credit card

[RentANDBills]

Hi all,

I'm really struggling to get any advice or answers on this, I've tried CAB and the local Law Centre but neither are interested.

To cut a long story short (long story here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2872632-to-ask-DP-to-pay-half should anyone be interested) I was supporting ex for 8 months whilst he sat on his arse playing games was looking for work. He eventually found a job but 2 weeks later I'm made redundant - literally hours after that, he breaks it off.
He was using my credit card whilst I was at work for "joint expenses" (eg. food shopping) though closer evalution of the bill shows that there were many Starbucks trips etc in that as well.

The rent was in both our names; but I paid it entirely. (same with Gym Membership and Health Insurance)
The credit card is in just my name, however I can prove that he was in sole possession of it for the 8 months.

The advice I have received it to take him to small claims court, however as the sum is so high (£8000+) the court fee is HUGE.

I'm currently in debt because of the money he has taken so cannot afford to lose the case if I pay to go forward.

I feel trapped between a rock and a hard place. Morally, he owes me the money, but legally? I'm really not sure where I stand. If he "gets away" with not paying it back, I face several years of paying off debts which essentially are not mine.

Do I have a case?

Any advise extremely useful!

Did you give him the card and PIN? Thats against the terms and conditions of the card and you may have no comeback as essentially you authorised the payments by disclosing the PIN to him. If he was using it without permission then you could have cancelled the card. I don't know how successful a case would be tbh

I'm not a lawyer, but I fear that as the card was in your name and you gave him permission to use it, the debt is all yours. Rather like giving your PIN to someone who then abuses it. :(

Morally, of course he owes you. Legally is different.

What about the rent? Can I not claim back half of that?

I wouldn't of thought so. But I'd be interested what someone with experience and knowledge thinks.

I think like in your previous thread that in many relationships (like my own) one partner earns significantly less (me) than their partner. If my partner and I were to split in the future I cannot think of anyway in which I would be forced to give him half of the cost of the bills he has been paying since we moved in together, well I know I wouldn't be able to afford it, heck I cannot afford to live on my own. I'd end up claiming benefits, which is what he could of done if on his own rather than taking from you.

You were happy for him to use your card and, had you not lost your job, would have been paying off the balance sooner. You feel aggrieved that he has broken up with you.

The only thing you can do is ask him to make some effort to repay you his share of the expenditure on your credit card. If the arrangement was that you supported him and he would pay you back eventually, then the difficulty will be proving that in court. Even if you win the case, getting the money back from him could be a long, slow process.

Are you working again? Can you transfer the balance onto a 0% credit card and make inroads to paying it off without accruing more interest?

I face several years of paying off debts which essentially are not mine
Unless you can prove that he stole the card from you and used it fraudulently then I don't think you have a claim.

Even if you were to sue him and he was ordered to pay you back the money, unless he has any money how can he pay you back??

What about the rent? Can I not claim back half of that?
From who??

I'm no expert OP but I was in a similar situation with my exH. There was nothing that could be done. I've been paying off what are legally my debts for years now , I'm very close to being back to zero.

I learned a very expensive lesson and I fear that it may be the same fate for you. It sucks but I now have zero tolerance of those that are not sensible with their cash and protect myself far better than I previously did.

I hope you get it sorted , good luck.

I've been paying off what are legally my debts for years now , I'm very close to being back to zero
Sadly that is all that you can do but at least you will be free of the debt soon.

Persiancatlady - I will be a very happy bunny the day I make my last payment!