Police called out to my crying screaming daughter!

[paulanthony1976]

Hi everyone,
So our families bank holiday was ruined by a knock at the door on Saturday night at 10.30pm by the police. Someone had reported a disturbance from our home which the police came to investigate.

I was in bed already, as were the kids, and my wife was getting ready for bed when they knocked us up and interrogated us like criminals. About an hour earlier my 3 year old daughter had been kicking screaming crying tantrum as she didn't want to go to bed, but she soon wore herself out and was fast asleep when the cops came.

They took my kids names and birthdays and school details etc, as well as my wives and mine personal and work details. They had a good look around the house, checked on the kids sleeping in their rooms, asked us lots of questions and then left. Upon leaving the police told us they were satisfied that it was a false alarm, that the matter was closed, and that we had nothing to be worried about.

The next day on Bank Holiday Sunday at 9am, the police returned to our cul-de-sac, knocked on all our friends/neighbours doors and asked lots of questions about our family and if they had heard noise. Needless to say when the police left all our friendly neighbours came back over to us to tell us about their interviews with the police and to get the gossip from us and to express their support to us, and to condemn the "snake in the grass" living among us, and the for wasting the police time.

Although we had done nothing wrong, we now feel like criminals, and losing sleep worrying. Not to mention being gossiped about by our neighbours, even though all our kids play together in the street.

We are really angry at being falsely accused of something, a 3 year old cannot legally create a disturbance, can they? also angry at being told it was a closed matter, when then the next day they came back to interrogate our friends and neighbours. Can I complain for harassment and intimidation, or for defamation and libel?

I am now walking on broken glass every time my kids throw a tantrum and fearful of another public complaint or visit by the police and/or social services.

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcomed please.

"These are award winning, letter writing, non tv watching, educational day out having, no junk food children with parents who's whole life revolve around them and every waking minute is spent making sure they are educated"

ok,what would YOU do instead then? let them become illiterate and lazy? give them no ambition or good example in life? let them watch tv and play computer gamesall day? feed them processed junk and tons of candy until their teeth rot and they get fat? ignore them and neglect them?

If thats how you raise your kids then you need a visit from social services I'd say!

Well he has literally no time al

ok,what would YOU do instead then?

Out and about, mixing with the community, buses, shops etc modelling polite and respectful behaviour towards others?

Yes. Yes that is exactly how I have raised my children.

Or...maybe not.

But, my entire life does not and did not revolve around my children. I never felt the need to claim that I never had any time ever at all because my children were my entire life
I also never had to post about how clever they are, (I can if you want?) what they eat, or what they watch on tv.

But then again, I never had a visit from the police or a neighbour reporting me because my DCs were making so much noise, screaming and shouting at 9pm.

So there you go.

They are 16, 15 and 11 now. Social services have not yet felt the need to tell me I neglect them. But again...no one had ever reported me.....

@ Officer

How about letting them be children, paul? Playing with friends their own age and just having fun without your constant input?

For all your much vaunted parenting techniques, you did appear to totally miss the fact your DC was so over tired she had a massive tantrum that was so loud it could be heard in the street. Totally understandable on her part, and all parents make misjudgements, but you don't seem to accept any responsibility, either for that or for disturbing other people. No - you are full of fury about having your evening disturbed once you'd gone to bed but have no consideration for other people.

Consideration for others means not being self absorbed to the point that you can't see past your own family.

Not going to happen here is it?

not possible, how can i be self-involved when i dont have any time for myself? all my time is spend around my childrens life and well being, all we do we do for my children, not for the well-being of a nosey-neighbour

Oh, OP. So you're one of those. The absolute narcissists who put their children at the centre of the universe as an extension of themselves. Who genuinely don't see that all they have done is stretch the tiny bubble of self-absorption to encompass the child, whose perfection, genius, and beauty is exaggerated because these are seen as accomplishments and qualities of the narcissistic parent.

Got it.

Not all screaming, tantruming children are the product of bad parenting.

But some indisputably are.

PaulAnthony. I wouldn't bother getting sidetracked by some of the posters on this thread. I'd stick to your original request for comments and suggestions about the police coming around. Most reasonable posters seem to think that your are overreacting and that you should not make a complaint about false accusations and about being harassed.

I'm not sure there is much more for you to gain by getting so defensive and angry by some of the comments on this thread. even if some of them are a bit nasty

My suggestion...

Don't worry about the police visit, don't worry about trying to find someone to blame for making a complaint and hide this thread.

In my head I just went

"ooooh burn"

Clearly, I am far too immature to be here at the moment

But 'disturbance' is WHAT THE POLICE CALL IT when they have a report of screaming etc (it always was on The Bill anyway)

'In response to a report of a disturbance at no.52, we knocked on the door to find...' whatever.

It's not a 'keep the noise down' report.

Whatever stops your child walloping other children or running into traffic can surely be used to stop screaming from over 3s?

Physically removing a child or restraining them is a way to stop DC walloping other children or running into the road although if they're a calm, reasonable type of child like my DD2 then talking/explaining to them would work but it doesn't stop screaming though does it?

That was for brdgrl's post!

Jesus Christ

This is thread is insane

(blushes)

give them no ambition or good example in life?

Out of interest OP, what good example is it that you think you are giving your DC?

My teens seem to be very successful, happy, personable people with good manners but admittedly they are only A grade pupils and not CEOs yet. Have I let them down in some way by not letting them think they are the centre of the known universe?

Please do give us all the benefit of your vast experience and evident expertise .

Best thing you can do paul is just put it behind you and leave it. The police wont tell you who reported the call to you nor will they hand over statements.
Be grateful to have a concerned neighbour who will report as opposed to ignoring everything. You might be very grateful one day.

I certainly wouldn't go guns blazing accusing the police of being liars etc

At best get confirmation the matter is closed and leave it at that.

You know, I longed for a nosey neighbour to ring the police, maybes then I wouldn't have been locked in the outside toilet all night, naked as a kid. I was hoping the screaming and shouting and thumping thudding noises I was making as my mother dragged me down the stairs by my ankles would have alerted them or even the sustained howling as she beat me as I was trying to crawl away from her onslaughts. But no, I wasn't as lucky as your children.
Be thankful someone cares enough to be worried.

You have to work on tantrums, whenever they occur, rather than focus on a level of screaming at a particular time of day that leads at least one witness to have CP concerns.

I recommend that OP takes parenting classes for stragies to deal with tantrums. There are many approaches. But consistency is usually important, as is avoiding over-tiredness.

Physically removing a child or restraining them is a way to stop DC walloping other children or running into the road

I'd be a bit concerned if I was still having to use that tactic with a 6.8 year old. Or indeed a 3.7 year old TBH. How could school work if they only respond to physical restraint?

My children are all perfect, and I always call the police when I hear a toddler having a tantrum. Staying up after 7:30 is a sign of moral turpitude, and all ladies should all go deaf at 52, at which point they are "old".

What else have we learned from this thread?

There are several or perhaps one poster/s on the wind up on thus thread.

Clara OP has already told us he and his neighbours 'like to party' and have 'loud' children who 'scream' (but that's ok cos toddlers screaming 'is not illegal')and that anyone who doesn't like it will have to 'continue to suffer in silence'.

If you call police just for a single toddler tantrum, you'd better get OP's street address and make note never to move there, it sounds like noisy neighbour hell.