Separation, divorce, how?

[keepingupwiththejoneses]

Basically I need some advice as to how to go about separating from my 'h'. I can not be married to him any longer, fullish story.
As both of our boys have sn and I do all the caring, so much as ds2 can not cope if I don't put him to bed, get him ready for school etc, I need to stay in the house we both own. I have asked him to leave before but he has refused, although I wasn't as determined that I wanted him to before now. Is there anyway of doing it legally? If he does go when I ask him, what do I do then?
Step by step advice please as I really have no idea. Also what legal hold do I have over the house, I have proof he has not contributed anything to the household since last april and even that went in our joint account and straight into his single account on the same day, every thing is paid in and out of our joint account so is on the bank statements which I have, actually does that even matter, just don't know!

Step-by-step;

1. See a solicitor to find out where you stand and what options there are, even if you then decide to go it alone.

2)Try to reach agreement about finances for the short term

2. Petition for divorce. The court cannot make an effective order settling the finances until the (nisi) divorce decree is granted.

3. Push for a settlement. That can be agreed between yourselves or with the help of mediation or solicitor negotiation. If no agreement can be reached apply to court for a financial order.

Briefly any assets (including pensions) held in joint and sole names are shared according to a checklist of factors in s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. The priority is the welfare of dependent children and usually the needs of both parties comes at the top or near the top of the list.

A good starting point is to do some research into local property prices and both parties' mortgage raising capabilities. If the children are to live with you most of the time you will need a larger home than your husband to house them, although he will need somewhere for the children to stay for contact. A spouse with the lower income won't be able to raise as much mortgage as the higher earning spouse and they will require more capital justifying a larger split in their favour to leave both spouses on a similar financial footing.

4. Have the settlement drafted into a court order by a solicitor. Submit the order to court for approval and apply for the second divorce decree, the absolute.

In the meantime your husband has the same right as you to live in the former matrimonial home as you and the usual legal advice is not to move out until arrangements for finances and children are in place.

I agree with STIDW, and you can also check whether you're entitled to legal aid (public funding) by completing the eligibility calculator for legal help on the legal services commission website.

Not many firms do legal aid any more, so if you are eligible, you can narrow down your search for a firm by only making an appointment with someone who does.

You can find a specialist family lawyer on www.resolution.org.uk.

I understand what you say about only you getting the children off to bed, but that isn't necessarily going to give you the right to have the house, depending on circs, as your dh has to be housed somehow as well, particularly assuming that he'll have overnight contact at some point.

Thank you both, I have looked on resolution and found a local firm who not only specialise in family law but also do legal aid for divorce. Will my ds's SN be taken into account at all? Our youngest is severely autistic and wouldn't cope if we had to move. I have no hope of getting a mortgage, I gave up work when youngest was born as he was ill from day 1, also I have no qualifications or job skills, although I am trying. He is time served plasterer with 20 years experience.
I support our whole household, including his credit card and van insurance on tax credits, DLA, Carers allowance and child benefit, he contributes nothing.