ExP emailed from Abu Dhabi to say no more maintenance... can this be right?!

[ColeslawGuzzler]

Just got an email from my exp, father of ds and dd, telling me he's gone to work in Abu Dhabi and won't be paying child maintenance anymore. We've had a relatively amicable arrangement until now - no CSA or court order - he's just calculated what my share of his take home is each month and transferred it to my bank account. I thought I could trust him. He says there isn't an agreement between UK and AD and that he doesn't legally have to pay me a penny whilst he's there! Can't believe it. He must be on a packet too.

Does anyone out there have experience or knowledge of this. Please. If he's right and he doesn't have to pay up whilst he's there, does he have to back date payments when/if he comes back? Is there anything the CSA can do to help me?

Ironic that it's fathers' day. Sh*thead.

i find it utterly inconceiveable how a man can do this
shame on him

i hope his parents are proud of him

If he lives USE then no. If he's working for a UK company possibly. One thing that is important is if a house is in the name of his new gf legally the cmec cannot touch it.

There are other implications to this which I've already expected someone on here to mention about court and imprisonment. If a court does do this you won't get a penny, as he won't be working, will be fired and will unlikely be able to start work overseas.

Hire a solicitor but bear in mind the above. If he pays or offers something its better than nothing.

A typical first order on a judgment summons is a suspended commital order, giving the payer a couple of weeks to pay the arrears. Never known anyone to prefer jail to paying up.

Thanks so much for all this help - computer got a virus on Sunday night (hope it wasn't MN!) and I've only just managed to reformat it.

Sorry also about my confusion re court orders - we didn't get one of any sort initially, as we opted for shared care. In 2007 though, when I had a relative lookin likely to die and leave me a share in a cottage, I went about getting a clean break settlement (which I've dug out and see is called a consent order) so that he couldn't have "his share" of my (small) inheritance, which I reckoned he'd go for if he discovered I'd got it. This Consent Order declares that: "1. The Petitioner's and the Respondant's claims for financial provision, Pension Sharing and Property Adjustment Orders do stand dismissed and neither the Petitioner (P) nor the Respondant (R) shall be entitled to make any further application in relation to their marriage under the matrimonial Causes Act 1973 Section 23 (1) (a) or (b). 2. Neither the P or the R shall be entitled on the death of the other to apply for an order for provision out of the other's estate. 3. The P and the R shall each bear their own costs in so far as this application and the negotiations ancillary there to are concerned."

Does the above mean that i can't make any claim on his assets on behalf of my dcs? I see it rules out me getting money from his property for myself but what about for them?

Anyway, a new development - he emailed me yesterday to say he'd thought better of his decision (ears must have been burning), apologised for what must have been upsetting email, said sorry it's a bit late and deposited the usual monthly maintenance sum in my account! He said he'd make sure it's on time from now on and give me a bit extra at christmas. I can't believe this is out of the goodness of his heart. He'll have taken advice from somewhere. Thing is that he will be earning WAY MORE now in AD than he was over here, so by rights I should be getting 20% of whatever that untaxable packet is, not 20% of what his UK take home was.

At least I'm getting something I guess, but where am I left legally? can I get more out of him?

Sorry to go on and on. You're being really helpful. LOL at your idea Brianandhisballs! Like it. Might do it.

Your clean break doesn't apply to the children.

Hi just read your post re ex husband . I'm in similar situation to you ex lives in UAE & says hes going to stop paying for child maintenance . He has done this before so not great situation to be in . I know how you felt ! Just wondered how thngs were going ? Did he disclose his new salary to the csa to recalculate your maintenence ? I'm in process of applying for my ex to do this as he pays min cm for our 2 children . CSA cannot be used in UAE so am going down court route . Hope things worked out for you ?

I only came on here to find out the answer to a similar question for my own partner who's ex is possibly moving to UEA on a major salary and has so far in over 12 months not paid a penny towards his child. And in doing so, I'm shocked by the amount of women who see the man as the bad guy. I was in a relationship with an emotionally abusive woman for 22 years and since leaving her for my own sanity, I have paid the mortgage, bills and all sundries for around 12 months after leaving her. I have never once not paid my CSA which I 'volunteered' it to come from salary. Its me who set this up. I have signed my house over to her in exchange for a small amount of equity to start myself up again. Money of which is less than half of the equity she has recieved in her name. And despite my best efforts with a solicitor she has refused to engage with a judge (consent order) and a solicitor who has sent her several letters at my own expense she has refused to give me my equity. I have 3 children, 2 of which do not see me because of her bullying and threats and this breaks my heart. It tears me up inside. not a day goes by I don't think about my kids, how I would love to have a relationship with them, but I can't get near them because she hides them, bribes them and tells me they are out. I've tried everything, keeping links open with school, email, text, Xbox live and still nothing. I love my kids and that will never stop. So please ladies before you all become man haters, bare in mind that not all men are the same and sometimes it is actually the woman in the relationship who is far more narcissistic and problematic. All I ever wanted was to make sure that my kids are looked after and in a safe environment. BTW. I am on a less than average salary and I am in rented accomodation with debts up to my eyeballs all because of an ex wife whos world is driven entirely by money and material posessions.