Adoption, fostering and a bit complex!

[zeebrugge]

I was adopted as a baby in 1971 and lived with my adopted parents until March 1987 when they were both drowned in the Zeebrugge Ferry disaster. I was put in short term foster care and then long term foster care until I timed out on my 18th birthday.

I was allowed to visit my former home, on the day after the funeral, to collect my belongings but never stayed there again. When my aunt and uncle came back from Denver in 1989 they lived there for a while.

Now I can sort of understand why I wasn't in the will, being adopted rather than a birth child. But as somebody told me over Christmas, and why I am writing, surely I was left something. Did I really matter so little.

Zee don't be hardy on yourself it's very early days still.

Have you thought about writing an autobiography - it could be very cathertic even if you never want to get it published.

If you do be sure to let me know

So much in less than a month! I bet your aunt and uncle thought they had got away with it after so long. Let's hope that having lived free as a feather and paying themselves for the privilege that they have lots of dosh saved to pay you what is rightfully yours.

How fantastic for you that you are moving back into your house so soon!

Yes, Reality, she's got her lovely Aunt and Uncle - have you not read the thread?

I'm an only child, it wouldn't seem unusual to me to have so few family members.

"Special type of doctor" - could have been a counsellor? Or one with some fancy title that she can't remember.

This thread got to 200+ messages with lots of helpful advice before you two jumped in doubting. She has had a lot of good advice on here. I don't think it's too far fetched at all, and, err, neither do a large number of other posters.

If you think she's a troll, or a DM journo, why not obey the MN troll policy - ignore and report?

Can I ask one simple question that through out this whole thread has kept jumping out at me...

Where were you whilst your parents were on that ill fated ferry trip?

Why had they left you behind?

I mean thankfully they did or you would have perished along with all those other poor people, but as an only adopted child, with no close family or friends for you to stay with. Where were you?

I do have other questions but shall leave it as that.

Oh ffs! Why the need to be 'clever'? The op has asked for nothing other than a listening ear.

Jacqueline, my parents would often nip off to Belgium or France for a few days when I was at school. I used to stay with friends or next door for a couple of nights if I couldn't go with them. No big deal.

Firstly, she has not said that she was not with her parents. There were many survivors from Zeebrugge.

However, if we assume she wasn't, she was 16. The Herald of Free Enterprise capsized on 6th March 1987. That was a Friday during term time. She would have been in the final few weeks of school before taking her O Levels. If her parents went on the promotion organised by The Sun, as so many of the victims were, they would have been on a day trip to Belgium. I don't know the timings but I presume that would have meant setting out early in the morning, leaving their daughter to get herself to school. They would probably have expected to return home late that night. So leaving their 16 year old daughter behind to go to school while they had a day out in Belgium would have been no big deal.

I was mearly asking a question that I'm sure Zee is more than capable of answering herself.

I was not attacking Zee, or trying to be clever just asking something about what had happened.

I shall hide the thread now though so don't bother answering Zee some of your followers have already done that for you.

Why need to ask it ? what bearing does that have on the OP's questions?

Agree with maryz.

Do the ?doubting Thomases? on this thread really believe that the solicitors who have invested time and effort in giving advice to the OP did so without making some basic checks?

You can take it as read that the OP is genuine.

I am quite happy to take the OP at face value, but legaleagle2 - I'm not sure what basic checks could possibly be made.

Last night was my first night in my former home. I slept on the bed in my old room and I need to buy new bed clothes. I don?t want to use theirs. The pattern the streetlight made on the wall was just like it used to be. So was the funny noise from the water in pipes. I found a few things of mine in the attic but other things must be Aunt and Uncles.

Me having no car is difficult ? DH takes it with him as he works away. 2 weeks on then 1 off. I think some money might be in the bank by now so we might look at buying a second small car.

I need to get phone and broadband sorted out here. I have not been able to read the thread until today. The lady opposite came over to see me yesterday not realising who I was. She has lived there 40 years and remembers my Mum. I am borrowing her computer to send emails to firms and Mumsnet.

About the special type of doctor ? I have never seen the full title written down. It is about 10 words long. Something about Bereavement therapist.

The shop has given me compassionate leave for 7 working days but I think I will need to resign because it is too far to travel just for part time minimum wages.

I called in at the local college. I cannot start the course that would be good for me called Returning to Study until after Easter or in September.

My last job is to thank to the people who have helped me and even answered questions for me while I have not been around here. I?m sad that some people don?t believe me but sometimes even I cannot believe what happened to me either!

I will never forget that Friday night and Saturday morning in 1987.

Thanks for popping back zeebrugge.

• I guess people find it unbelievable as it's just so like a fairy tale: with losing your parents and the wicked family members stealing your inheritance ........and the happy ending.

I bet that neighbour can tell you some stuff. I don't know how much you can talk about it with her yet.