Can my ex stop me moving to Scotland from surrey?

[StaceymAloneForver]

I just wrote out a long message and the computer deleted it :( but basically me and my new partner want to move to Aberdeen for a better life with my two children but i wanted to know if my ex husband (the kids dad) coud stop me as his contact would be reduced from ever other weekend and 1 week in the summer to 1 half term week, 2 weeks in summer and 1 week at xmas!

Any help would be greatfully received thanks xxx

I need help. me and my ex split a year ago, we never married or lived together, he does however have a PR agreement. My ex will NOT communicate with me over matters regarding my son, schooling, behaviour etc..i text and ring but get no reply!!!..my ex see's my son everyday as lives down same street..I dont want to talk to my ex face to face as he frightens me. I want to move to another part of town, but apparently he wont let me, i want to take my son out for days with me and my new partner, he wont let me, even tho he takes my son out all the time!!...i have been told, through my son, that if i move out of the street he will apply for full custody of my son!!!!....I feel so sorry for my son cos messages are passed through him, despite me trying to text my ex.apparently when i send him a text he gets my son to read, then delete it!!!....I feel trapped and desperate..I am having such a bad time with my ex..i dont want confrontation, but then again dont want to roll over and give in!!..I dont know which way to turn now..feeling helpless and desolate :(..Oh ad before i forget, my son was due to go to a party tonight, and we had a massive fight....I grounded him, he rang his dad, and his dad said he was going to call the police and have me arrested..is this even possible???

There is absolutely no way you would be arrested for grounding your son. There is also absolutely no way he can stop you from moving to another part of town. He could apply for a court order to try and stop you moving but his chances of getting it are nil. He will not get residence just because you move to a different part of town. He can apply if he wants but he will need a better case than that in order to win.

sorry..just realised i stuck my thread in the middle of yours StaceymAloneForver...didnt mean to !..new to the whole forum thing..

If the ex is a truely committed father then surely he would move aswell?

Hi everyone i need some help, i relocated 15 minutes away from my ex. we have shared residence for how 3 year old girl , he picks her from my address as per court order 3 times a week, but since i have moved he is insisting that i drop the kid to him cos the court order was for the previous address. He is accusing me of denying him from seeing his dota when in the actual fact he is the one breaching the court order by not turning up to pick her. on grounds that iam the one who has relocated. Is he right in his demands.

You might be better off starting a new thread, asylumum. How well do you usually get on with your ex? How much extra expense/hassle are you putting him to now you've moved? Could you reach a compromise with him?

Actually i was just calculating the distance from my old place to his and from his to my new place, the difference to my new place is 7 minutes longer, i offered to take the child to him and then he could bring her back, but he refused, he said i moved so i have to do the drops and the picks while he just sits on his backside. He does not work, so he does not pay any child maintenance, he said cos i receive child benefit/ child credit tax so i should be able to use some of that money and put fuel in my car for the purpose. He does not realise how expensive fuel has become. since i have moved he has nt picked up the child unless i drop her to him. If i dont he says iam breaching the court order. the court order specifies that he has to do the drops and picks thou. please advise

If you had moved a considerable distance away your ex might have a point. However, you haven't so I would put the ball in his court and write formally reminding him of the terms of the order and as a compromise offer to collect your daughter from him at the end of contact as long as he picks her up. (there is less room for shenanigans that way round.) It is then open to him to oblige or apply to court. Should he go to court the letter is evidence that you have acted reasonably.

i'm sorry to have not replied before as we have had considerable problems at the moment and have only just checked on this.

i thought mumsnet was a place of support and to see im being called selfish and told i am acting selfishly shocks me profusely!

i put my children first no matter what happens and that was all i was thinking of. My children have never been told he is no longer their daddy or such like but if i can offer them a better life i will. Mynew partener would have been making considerably more money and we would have been able to afford our own home (something that will never happen in Surrey).

I am obviously aware that my x-h has a good relationship with the children but i also have to think of what they need materially, they dont need us having to move house every year when landlords put the rent up and we can no longer afford it (esp when x-h has no job, no inclination of getting a job and i am left to pay for everything single handed).

Also Colditz why should I have to hold back from plans that will benefit my children jsut because my x-h is not abusive? This comment makes no sense to me, especially in this day and age with web-cam's, email etc etc. would it benefit my children more to end up in council housing and doing no extra- curricular activities, or have me as i am at the moment working 12 hrs a day and looking after them so they have no quality time with me whatsoever?

thank you STIDW and Jellycat for your understanding i would never seperate them to spite my xh we have a civil relationship and i feel no ill towards him, just need to do what is best for me and the kids.

northseadad i can see how it would make you and my x-h feel in this matter but it is not always that black and white. Myself and my partner are the ones who have to provide for the children while x-h pays nothing (and has paid nothing for a year now) and i CANNOT afford to live around here anymore without majorly decreasing my childrens quality of life, so is better to maintain contact and decrease their quality of life or have an improved quality of life and more stability but sacrifice regular short periods of contact with longer periods of contact spread out throughout the year?

As an update we are not moving at the moment as the job in Aberdeen fell through, thank you all for your comments and advice. Currently I am working 12 hour days in amongst school runs for DD 6 and DS 4, trying desperately to pack 2 weeks worth of quality time into my 1 weekend out of 2 with them as during the week i only have time to cook dinner (and work while they eat) and put them to bed (and work while they sleep) to afford to live close to their father.