Can anyone please advise practical help for stalking?

[sugarlake]

I am writing on behalf of a very dear friend who has just emailed me in an awful state.

I cannot give too much away re her personal details but the crux is that her former landlord (who made her and her husband's life hell, ruining their business, causing fear and terror, killing their livestock and finally driving them away etc) - he is continuing with the abuse despite their moving to a new part of the country.

What worries me is they live in one of the most remote parts of Britain and the police are non proactive to say the least.

My friend is terrified and called Women's Aid, who offered her a flat in a large city 300 miles away. My friend does not want to leave her home, husband or animals but does not know what to do.
She is in her late fifties and her husband is 10 years older.

I am about 250 miles away from her but want to help her with some practical advice and help her to feel less petrified. How can I help her?

Thought so. Good luck.

Thank you, :)

Get a Dog.

If you have enough space get some Geese, They are a good alarm system. They are an early warning system.

Ah! we have ten dogs and eight geese and he is complaining about them too, he had animal welfare visit us saying we were keeping vicious animals on the premises!

This is all very strange!

Bullybasher has gone through hell and I fully understand her reluctance to say too much on an open forum especially as the former landlord threatened her on a national newspaper comment page. He once used some means of tapping into and reading her emails.

This man is highly unpredictable, very wealthy and has well connected friends and there seems no rhyme nor reason as to why he pursues people long after they have left 'his' area.
It does not surprise me that he has been in contact with Bullybasher's neighbour (who is a weirdo). He (ex landlord) is furious to have lost control of his victims and it appears he wishes to continue scaring them. Neighbour is probably being paid by this man.(imo)

I have no comprehension as to why he wants to do this. I know of him and he certainly has a history but I'm baffled why he gets away with it.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, Bullybeater.

With regards to CCTV, in our case we bought a simple camera system recording on a home VCR from Homebase.

We installed the camera so it only had a view inside our property, did not put up any warning signs. We never had any problems in using the footage in fact it was instrumental in getting the whole matter taken seriously and resulted in the person harassing us being convicted on several occasions.

So I would not worry about putting signs up if you are recording only on your own property.

Once our MP had got involved the police installed a much more sophisticated surveillance system and they did put up signs, but I'm not sure if these are essential.

The camera we used initially cost less than £100 and quite literally changed our lives as the police were not able to ignore filmed evidence.

When I say "inside our property" I mean within the bounds of our land, not inside the house itself.

Bully - so sorry you are going through this, my sympathies go out to you.

To all those sceptical about this and questioning the motivation of this individual, I would say that I know from personal experience that logic just does not come into the equation for some unhinged individuals.

In our case we had not even set eyes on the individual who made our lives hell until he started smashing our house up. I still to this day have no idea what was going through his warped little brain.

DancingHippo - thank you for being so understanding about this situation. I am a bit shocked that there is an inference that there is more to the situation but there truly is no concrete reason why her ex landowner is doing this.

The situation defies logic but what is real is the toll on my friend and her dh.

How did you get rid of your stalker and has he ever come back?

Sugar - I think it is just very difficult for people to understand this kind if situation if they have not experienced it, so they assume there must be some reason for this individual attacking your friend, ie they assume she must have "done something" to this man. I have been there and I know to my cost that some individuals just defy logic.

I also had to put up with the disbelief of others over my situation. This included my insurance company who were convinced we must have some kind of relationship with the man who attacked us and were very reluctant to pay up for the damage. Acquaintances who we told about it were incredulous and there was some gossip about us to the effect that we were disreputable people as we clearly knew violent people. Also the police were very reluctant to believe that this man was not asn associate of ours.

So I really sympathise with your situation, Bully, and I would ask all those posting here to believe her when she tells you she has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to provoke this man's attacks against her. Please be a little more sympathetic, it could happen to anyone.

Sugar - we finally got rid of our stalker when, after contacting our MP, we finally got to deal with sensible individuals within the police who knew the powers of the anti-harassment laws and used them properly. They made sure this man was brought up in front of a sympathetic judge who saw the serousness of the situation and made sure he was given an indefinite hospital order so he would not simply be turfed out on the streets again after 6 months. He since then died of cancer while still in hospital. I feel guilty about it, but I found it impossible to feel any sympathy for this man's death and only felt relief that he would never be able to attack us again.

I am not sure of exactly what sanctions can be taken under the anti-harassment laws againg someone who is judged not to have mental problems (though I suspect the man attacking Bully probably does have) but I have a feeling that if they persist in the behaviour and refuse to desist they can be detained "at her majesty's pleasure" ie indefinitely, if he continues to be a threat to you. This was an option considered in our case, but due to his mental health issues the hospital order route was used.

Good luck. Bully, try not to lose heart. This man is NOT above the law and he CAN be stopped.

Have an appointment to see a lawyer tomorrow,
wish me luck?
:)

Lots of good luck for tomorrow, Bullybasher.
I will be thinking about you. x

Lots of luck from here as well Bully

This will be the first step to taking your life back I am sure.

Please let us know how it goes.

The interview went very well, the lawyers cannot beileve how much we have suffered without any help thus far,
they are going to help and on this matter, I shall keep you posted,

and in the mean time, I thank all of you for your encouragement and your understanding.
:)BB

Thank goodness someone is willing to help you.
I cannot believe how you have held it together after all the years of grief and am so proud of you. x

You must be so relieved that you have at last found someone to help you - I can remember myself the feeling of a great weight being lifted when we finally got the police on side.

I'm sending out good vibes and best wishes and I am sure that you are now on the upward curve.

He got his letter from my lawyer today, I had expected him to throw a wobbly, but there has been no reaction whatsoever,
must admit, I am feeling very much on edge,

Hang on in there, Bullybasher, perhaps he is shocked you have stood up to him?