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Original poster

What made you stop having babies please ?

33 replies

KatieDD · 03/06/2008 09:45

I am in a bit of state of over this, having had a huge tantrum about wanting another baby and Dh finally giving in to shut me up I'm now feeling all wobbly about it.
We have three, we can comfortably afford three, there's not much I ever say no to (although it might not be a bad thing if I did) anyway the 4th would mean changes to our lives, we couldn't afford a bigger car or house so would just have to manage.
Also the "baby" at the moment is 4 and was grown up at 9 months old, I wonder do subsequent children develop much faster and therefore i won't have the lovely baby stage for long anyway.
Just thinking out loud would be grateful for anyone who could decide for me please

OP posts:
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cazboldy · 03/06/2008 12:22

I think they do grow up faster

your reasons (i.e bigger car etc) are why we have said 5 is enough

but if we win the lottery ...........

jes74 · 03/06/2008 22:49

they grow up faster ime but i love having 4, my eldest two are 6 and 8 and really enjoy helping out with the youngest who are 2 and six months, but then i would like one more but that would be our limit

dizzydixies · 03/06/2008 22:51

am expecting my third and dh says no more after this maybe if we wil the lottery

hana · 03/06/2008 22:55

we have 3
really really don't want 4 - dh has had a vasectomy so unlikely but I've come out in cold sweats just thinking that I was pregnant
3 is good for us - only thought we'd have 2, so a bonus to have 3. Would be very cramped in current house - 2 share now, things get expensive (flights to see family) and general running around wears me out. (swimming /school / activites etc etc)

and I'm shattered - am 37, had youngest at 36.

jamila169 · 03/06/2008 23:02

We have 4, and i insisted on DH having the snip because quite frankly, I've had enough of babies! I plan to return to work in the medium term and enough's enough

AllCornersHaveNowBeenCut · 03/06/2008 23:05

We have 4. That was always the plan. Family felt complete at that point. Plus also pnd, domestic workload and penury precluded considering more.

KristinaM · 03/06/2008 23:06

i had my tubes tied. i was worried that if i didnt i woudl just go on and on having more

midniteoil · 03/06/2008 23:26

We have 4. Couldn't bear to give away baby stuff after number 2 or 3, but (am relieved to say) that was no problem at all after number 4. He was planned and is adored, but I knew that was that. Just felt different and that family was complete.

I still feel teeny bit broody when I see or hold tiny babies but it passes as soon as I hand them back! I knew it was time to move on, free of shackles of buggies/travel cots/ nappies etc etc.... First holiday without buggy was so liberating!

4 is not so many more than 3?

Our number 4 is quite a baby, and a bit of an only child, as the others are all at school. He's catching up, but is spoilt!

An elderly neighbour of mine is often saying if she had her time again she'd not have stopped at the conventional 2.

But don't let it wreck your marriage.

Good luck with deciding.

cazboldy · 04/06/2008 11:07

midniteoil - so it's not a myth then, this "feeling of being finished, and family being complete"?

A lot of my friends have said exactly the same thing, and that is what worries me......

I don't feel like that.......

Plus I am 26, so could go on for years!

largeginandtonic · 04/06/2008 11:11

I am pretty sure that this is it for me now (am preg with #7) i always wanted 5 or 6 but 1 more felt right.

Am now panicking it may be another multiple pregnancy!

I think i may have to be sterilised though as i seem to fall pregnant so easily. I am hope ful for the 'off switch' to kick in too.

cazboldy · 04/06/2008 11:17

Congratulations LG&T

What car do you drive (or is it minibus?)

That is probably our major sticking point, and bedroom space

BoyzntheShire · 04/06/2008 11:19

i thought id have loads
but after 3 , the thought of more makes me scared and sad (coz i dont want more).
dp doesnt want more (he has our 3 and one more), but he will do if i want another. i dont rule it out, but certainly dont want one now.

BoyzntheShire · 04/06/2008 11:20

yes, congrats lg&t... just looked at your profile coz i was like at pg w no7 ! what a gorgeous lot you have...

largeginandtonic · 04/06/2008 11:24

Aw thanks

We drive a Toyota Previa, 8 seats. I am going to have to go large though with the next baby. DH wants a mini bus, do not. I magine doing the shopping in Sainsburys parking a mini bus!!!

BoyzntheShire · 04/06/2008 15:59

i have a bright yellow caravelle with daisys and other things on (magnets)

largeginandtonic · 04/06/2008 16:39

How many seats does a Caravelle have? I may need 10...

Original poster
KatieDD · 04/06/2008 16:51

This car business, my plan is that we won't get a 7 seater or anything, we'll all walk locally together if necessary, or else the nanny or DH will pick up 2 and i'll get the other 2, does it not work out cheaper to take 2 cars on the rare occassions you all need to go out together ?
I just can't see an occassion where all 4 kids would be in the car together other than the walkable school run.
I maybe kidding myself though ??

OP posts:
largeginandtonic · 04/06/2008 16:59

We go out and about an awful lot and visit family. DH does not drive either so the 2 car option is not there for us.

It is a pain in the arse.

NotABanana · 04/06/2008 17:00

We stopped for one reason only - my health.

Original poster
KatieDD · 04/06/2008 17:07

Large Gin and Tonic, in theory could it work for us do you think, I have shopping delivered, the school is 10 min walk and i would only really go anywhere if I had somebody else to help out anyway.

OP posts:
Pollyanna · 04/06/2008 17:09

oh I keep thinking about this too. Have just had my 5th and want a 6th now! I would stop at 6 even if I wanted to go on, but the sensible thing would be to stop now

I would love to feel that my family is complete!

Congrats LG&T! (bet it's twins - this is what slightly puts me off trying again, although I think twins are wonderful, I'm pretty sure I don't want no 6 to be twins!)

castlesintheair · 04/06/2008 17:14

My age. DH wants more though.

GrapefruitMoon · 04/06/2008 17:15

Congrats LG&T!

Re the OP - my dcs were terrible sleepers and I just couldn't face the sleepless nights again. Plus I found my third pregnancy physically harder - seemed to get every discomfort going - maybe due to my age!

BoyzntheShire · 04/06/2008 17:30

ah, mine only has 7 seats. you can get it with 8... or i think its the transporter that has more. if you cant both drive, you kinda do need a minibus, dont you?

course, when we were kids mum/dad just had a normal saloon or estate car and we bundled in, 4 kids on the back seat. cant do that anymore...

Idobelieveinfairies · 04/06/2008 17:40

At the end of my second 'twin' pregnancy (which were bubbas 7 & 8) i said definately no more, and so got sterilised with the c-section. But everyone feels like that at the end of pregnancy do don't they?

I would love another baby, but i don't regret getting sterilised, if i was to fall pregnant now (extremely unlikely) i would be over the moon! Not sure how my bidy could cope with another pregnancy though-thats the only thing that has got worn out!..lol

I would say have number 4, 4 is great!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

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