Is 37 too late to have a 3rd child

[pollypocketss]

With a DH that is 42?

Previous two in early 30s but feel I'm pushing my luck.

The combo of me above 35 and DH above 40 seems to scare me but my heart tells me to go for it while my head tells my heart to be quiet!

”4th at 49” <faints in absolute horror>

That was fine, had 3 under 4 but felt young and energetic then so go for it op if you do too - from my vantage point late 30s is really not that old when people live longer.

May I ask, was the 4th through IVF, @Northernnature ? Congratulations (I think!) I was through the menopause by 47, so that was that.

No was natural, surprise and was using contraception. Does occasionally happen I think. I did get very fit in my late 40s did alot of running lost weight 🙂

I had my first then! They are now 27 and 23 and absolutely fabulous. Went out for a posh lunch with them today.

Threads like this pop up every other day. You're 37 not 57, look around you at the school gates and you'll see parents of all ages just getting on with it. If you're not sure, give it a miss, you've got 2 already.

It's really shitty for the many women desperately trying for their first in their mid 30s to read this kind of "omg I'm SO old, my teenager will be pushing me round in a bath chair" twaddle.

I had my 3rd at 40. All good. I would say that if I hadn't, I would have an amazing amount of freedom than I currently do as my older ones are definitely in the next phase.now. However, we all adore our youngest ans I think she keeps us young and fitter!

I've been working FT since my youngest was 9 months old (PT before then.) We live abroad so no support from family so we had to pay for it! We had a nanny and she was wonderful; she's still like family even now my kids no longer need care. If my husband "only" worked a regular 40-hour a week job it would not have been too bad, but he's self employed so works around 60 hours a week. That was a challenge. In terms of my age, it's never been a factor.

@Episcomama can I PM you? Would love to learn more and 'share notes'.

I really don't want to write off a third because of work and being 'older'. I feel like something is missing and would rather start trying sooner than later.

For me that’s too old as greater risk of complications etc if the dad is older too. But I do know people who’ve had babies naturally into their 50s and all good.

My Nan had her 9th and 10th baby when she was 45.

My mum and her twin brother.

Yes having a baby at 49 was a shock but ultimately a blessing. 37 is positively young in comparison.

I had my 3rd at 36. It didn’t occur to me that was old because it’s just not! My friends with 3 had them between about 36-41

Of course not. We did 30, 33, 36, 39, all good!

so perhaps bring able to successfully have healthy children later in life is linked to longevity?

@PeachyKeane what a nasty thing to say. A very silly and uneducated thing to say, too actually.

Holy fk

Absolutely!

My mother was that age when she had me. She was always overweight so that is probably a contributing factor but she never plays with us the way younger parents did. Constantly moaning about her health. Not exactly related to age but she had no idea about modern technology or trends. I was very uncool. She was also very vocal about being done with having kids in the house and wanted us gone as soon as possible. Now I have small children and am juggling how to support her through a knee replacement and last year I had to juggle visits to my dying father and attend his funeral with small children. Obviously parents don't owe their kids childcare but she's too old to play with my kids and they say she smells funny.

It's definitely not too old if you want to do it, and you may have good health well into your child's middle age. Young parents may have poor health. No one knows what will happen in life. Just thought I would share my experience

I had my third at 37 . Absolutely no regrets .

I have my third at 43.

I'm 37 and would love another but single.

Had first at 22 (now 14), second at 28 (now 9)

I feel like I'd find it a lot easier now than I did then. Never had a support network and still don't, but it was fine!

I'm one of the young mums, most of the mums of kids DD14's year are 45-50.

Most of the mums of DS9's year are in their 30s

No you're not too old 💐

I hope not…. I’m 38 and pregnant with number 4 (DH is 45)!

I had DC3 at 33, and went back to work (part time from around 18 months then up to full time but compressed hours a couple of months later). I’m now working a lot less though, but that’s a choice.

We’ve never had much support from family. All are 1.5 hours away at least (DH’s family are all 3+ hours away) and not interested in providing any kind of regular or reliable help. It’s been challenging but fine. It has meant structuring our lives differently (mainly me working locally and fewer hours than before) but it works for our family. We have built a good support network locally (friends and neighbours) and that has helped massively.

I had my DS at 39. We always planned three children. Love having a third child and he is such a joy. DDs now grown up so it’s lovely to still have one DC at home.

Had my third at 39. She is the light of all our lives! Can’t imagine not having her.