Is 37 too late to have a 3rd child

[pollypocketss]

With a DH that is 42?

Previous two in early 30s but feel I'm pushing my luck.

The combo of me above 35 and DH above 40 seems to scare me but my heart tells me to go for it while my head tells my heart to be quiet!

I had my first two in my twenties and my third at 38. I was much more relaxed with my third and because I knew how quickly they grew into adults we spent loads of fun times together. His older siblings have been fantastic with him growing up and they’re still all very close now and see each other every week. Best thing I’ve ever done.

Personally I wouldn’t have considered having one before 37! But we are all different.

I would feel too old having a baby at 37 and wouldn't personally but my friend is 44 and just had her first.

I am East Indian, in our culture the longer the kids hang around the better, we love inter generational families, bigger families and the bond that creates.

I do worry about health risks to the baby however!

Interesting study although quite a few limitations, for example it did not examine age at first childbirth and it does not recommend actively leaving childbirth til late. Socio-economic status seems to also play a part.

That said, OP, if you are able to get pregnant it’s not too late. 42 is not old either, in my opinion. If you both want one more that is.

Well... I was my parents third when they were 37 and 42 and I think I turned out ok and they seemed fine!

DH and I were 38 when we had our dd, all good there too.

Hes younger at 35

I'm 39 and no way would I have another at this stage in life!
Granted I already have 2 (and they're now teens) so may think differently if I was childless, but in less than 4 years, we will officially have 2 adult children and still be early/mid 40s. Hopefully we will have years ahead of us to enjoy life both as a couple and as a family doing more grown up things together (eg travelling) and not be tied to school runs/playdayes/extra curriculars etc for another 12+ years! I can't wait!!!

My third at 40.

For me yes. I had my youngest at 28. We are all different.

Had my son aged 37 daughter at 35 OP but teenage years were hard tbh whilst going through the menopause 🥹

My Nan died at 98 and my mum is going strong at 88 ….we all have our babies young…..so I think your theory is a bit of Billy bollocks

@Kitkat1523 i think there is some scientific evidence that suggests that people who have kids late live longer. I might be wrong but I don’t think it’s clear though whether it’s the fact of having a child later that makes you more likely to live longer, or whether people who are destined to live longer are more likely to have been able to conceive at an older age.

If it’s the latter then in your family’s case they may have been capable of having kids well into their 40s but it so happened they didn’t choose to.

Just anecdote obviously but my dad was born when his mum was 46 - she thought she was going through the menopause - and she lived to 95.

For each additional year in maternal age at last birth, the odds of exceptional longevity increased by 5%. Women who had their last child above the age of 33 years had twice the odds of exceptional survival compared to women who had their last child before age 29.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5308150/#:~:text=Among%2020%20248%20women%20(mean,years%3B%20P%20for%20trend%20%3D%20.

So not bollocks but I agree with @JumpinJellyfish that it is more likely that if you're in good shape as the women in our family have all been to have babies into their 40s then you're more likely to have the longevity gene. Obviously they could also have babies young as well, it's the fact that they can have them late that's the predictor.

I wouldn't, your poor kid will be in nursery at 1 year old for 40+ hours a week then I assume? What's the point?

The older I get there's more friends who have children with autism and additional needs. No idea why but health stats go down with age. If you have 2 healthy kids, why push your luck. Enjoy your time with your little ones x

Currently on maternity leave and there’s plenty of mums who are first time mums who are that age in our baby groups. In fact in my little mum group we are 31, 32, 35, 38, 40 all first time mums.

I had my third at 37 - my first two were 6 and 3. In whose world is that too old? In my circles having kids in your twenties is young, and being a grandparent in your early 40s would be pretty embarrassing tbh.

Did you literally just dismiss... all working mothers? Wow.

I had 3rd at 38 (and 4th at 49 but that's another story!). Now I'm 56 (and with a 6 year old) I think it's better to have kids younger but that is not possible for everyone. As long as you are for and healthy (and financially ok) it's not a problem.

@Galoop not for 40 hours plus, we both have flexible jobs, but with my current two I went back to work FT after mat leave and they both went into preschool and they loved it. Since I have no family around I didn't see the benefit of them sitting at home while we worked.

Lots of sensory play, LOTS of other children that they then went onto school with. Even as a SAHM I would want my child to engage with other children.

Guess my worry is more juggling the needs of 3 children while working FT, my two are very independent however, even my 3yo.

Would be very different if I had my parents or siblings around, I'd get a mental break I suppose.

We're you working or did you have a support system?

When I was in my early 40s and in a relationship we discussed having a child together and even went for an IVF consultation (I had been sterilised while in my previous marriage). It didn't go any further because he was reluctant and I am so glad he was because we split up. The thought of having a teenager now would be a nightmare! I have two grandchildren, the eldest is 12 and she can be exhausting. Everyone is different though.

It’s absolutely fine. We were those ages when we had our last child.
I didn’t think twice about it. Have never even considered that we might be too old.

How did you feel with the 3rd at 38 and going into toddlerhood again in your 40s?