Anyone have 5 or more?

Mbeelbals · 2021-05-15T14:00:44+00:00

Hi I’m new to this But I’m thinking about getting the implant removed and ttc for a fifth! I absolutely love my big family, but wondering if one more might be one too many or too much to handle The little ones I have are 9, 8, 6 and 3! Is anyone here considering more or how about those with five or six is it a lot more to handle Thanks 😊

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Happycat1212 · 15/05/2021 15:16

Your ages are very similar to mine, mine are 10 9 7 and 4. I do sometimes want another as I love the baby stage but pretty sure I’m done!

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 29/05/2021 15:14

35 weeks with dc6!

Older dc are 13, 11, 8, 4 and 1!

Tbh after three everything is just more of the same i find!

mommyofmany · 31/05/2021 22:18

It really depends on how much time you have to spare, do you feel like you’re already overtired? I have 7 all aged 8 and under (and considering another one) and I wouldn’t change it for the world! Xx

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 31/05/2021 22:32

7 under 8 sounds intense!

Bluebird76 · 31/05/2021 22:36

"Tbh after three everything is just more of the same i find!"

How can that be? Does each child not need the same amount of concern and time devoted to them? Homework, worries, playdates, interests?

The emotional load of parenting i have found to increase dramatically as kids move into their teens. OP if your eldest is only 9, do not underestimate how different the needs of a teenager are to those of an under 10. They may need less input into hairwashing or school runs, but they still need an adult with the time available to help them navigate adolescence, not one consumed with the practicalities of multiple baby/toddler siblings. If you have endless time and emotional availability, and very little desire for your own space and needs, that's fine. But there are only so many hours in a day...

MissSmiley · 31/05/2021 22:41

We've got five, 18, 16, 14, 14, 11 and it's fine, I've found it much easier as they've got older, my last one was a surprise though and we didn't expect to have twins so a large family wasn't our original plan but I wouldn't change it for the world

WentAboutMyDay · 31/05/2021 22:53

I think you should consider the impact of a growing population. The pressure on local amenities is already huge.

dorisronson · 31/05/2021 23:04

I'm one of 5, and whatever anyone says, I don't believe that the emotional needs of all the children in such a large family can possibly be met. I do apologise for being blunt, but are you really thinking about the needs of your existing children in this decision? How will they benefit?

MsTSwift · 31/05/2021 23:06

Never understood this. Is there some unmet need in you that you need so many children? Just why?

Eachpeachpears · 31/05/2021 23:13

I'm the youngest of 4 and completly agree that my parents were unable to answer all our emotional needs. To the extent that I self harmed and had an eating disorder which all boiled down to fighting for attention. There are 10 years between oldest and youngest.
When my ED started at 13, my parents were focussed on the needs of my siblings who were 23, 18 and 15.

nimbuscloud · 31/05/2021 23:18

Tbh after three everything is just more of the same i find!

That doesn’t sound great really.

ineedaholidaynow · 31/05/2021 23:48

@mommyofmany how will you finance them through university if they all want to go?

BrutusMcDogface · 01/06/2021 09:41

We have four and reading this, I feel awful that they might grow up feeling that their needs weren’t met!! 😢

dorisronson · 01/06/2021 11:34

To be fair @BrutusMcDogface I don't believe that everyone's emotional needs will be met all the time in any family, large or small. We're all just imperfect human beings trying to do the best we can. I'm sure some parents will be far better able to attend to the needs of all the children in a larger family than others.
I guess there are benefits to being one of a large number of siblings too, individual families need to weigh this against potential cost.

Bluebird76 · 01/06/2021 11:54

I know many, perfectly balanced humans from families of 4 who felt all their needs were met, or at least as much as is reasonable, balanced against the benefits of having lots of siblings. When you get into having 5, 6, let alone more than that, then as far as I can see it becomes mathematically impossible to fit in the kind of parental attention a child needs.

CrazyNeighbour · 01/06/2021 13:04

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Caspianberg · 01/06/2021 13:11

I don’t understand how it can be the same after 3? Surely if you had now just a 13,11, and 8 year old, life in general would be very different without a 4,1 and newborn as well.

MsTSwift · 01/06/2021 17:18

Really unfair on the existing children. Never understood mindset. Poor kids.

Foxglovesandlilacs · 01/06/2021 17:23

I have 7 with my 8th due in July. Ages 13 down to 14 months.

It depends on so many things. The only thing I find difficult is the logistical side of things, I also hate days out as I feel really on show! Constant questions about if they’re all mine and what the age gaps are.

But in terms of going from 4 to 5, it’s not a massive difference.

I’m not having any more after this one. I have two businesses to run as well as all these kids!

Foxglovesandlilacs · 01/06/2021 17:24

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alrightfella · 01/06/2021 17:25

This just popped up in active. To me it would be can you afford it? Do you have space? Do you have time?

I only have two dc and found that the older they get the more expensive things get. Neither of them are actually into branded items but even things like men's shoes/football boots/trainers are really expensive! Plus they'll be learning to drive soon (this is non negotiable to me like swimming, both essential life skills) then possibly go to university.

Also the bigger they get the more expensive things are meals out, days out, holidays now if that stuff isn't important to you (or them) then that's fine. But I would hate to not be able to go these things. Also they need you do much more emotionally through their teenage years. DD especially so.

If you are confident you can meet their needs that's great. Maybe you have lots of family support too which would help.

Lazydaz · 01/06/2021 17:29

I have 4, my last one has sen, game changer for us as a family. We’re done.

Lazydaz · 01/06/2021 17:30

@Bluebird76

"Tbh after three everything is just more of the same i find!"

How can that be? Does each child not need the same amount of concern and time devoted to them? Homework, worries, playdates, interests?

The emotional load of parenting i have found to increase dramatically as kids move into their teens. OP if your eldest is only 9, do not underestimate how different the needs of a teenager are to those of an under 10. They may need less input into hairwashing or school runs, but they still need an adult with the time available to help them navigate adolescence, not one consumed with the practicalities of multiple baby/toddler siblings. If you have endless time and emotional availability, and very little desire for your own space and needs, that's fine. But there are only so many hours in a day...

Yep I agree as a mum of 2 teenagers and a pre-teen.

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 01/06/2021 17:36

I just love how people who think large families are a bad idea always seem to be looking at large families threads

Popetthetreehugger · 01/06/2021 17:39

I have 4 children and my husband has 4 children . So 8 . They are all adults aged 42 /23 . We love them all and our grandchildren . It’s a juggle , we don’t have enough days in the week to be the grandparents we wish to be ( both work very part time ) your resources will be stretched and if your new child has any additional needs then that will give the children you have even less . Enjoy the ones you have xx